We did a podcast like this a few years ago, but we felt is was such an important topic that we needed to do it again.
In a video on social media for the men titled “the reasons your wife doesn’t want to make love to you” we heard from a lot of the women that it is because their emotional needs are not being met. In one of the comments from the video, a husband stated:
“A man’s emotional needs are linked to his wife making love to him, which she won’t do unless her emotional needs are met first, Thus the man becomes responsible for his and his wife’s emotional needs.” This was a powerful statement which caused us to do this podcast, and reflect on this in our marriage as well.
Most women want an emotional connection before having a physical connection with their husband. And for most men, they need to have the physical connection before they will feel safe enough for the emotional vulnerability and connection with their wife.
So for MANY marriages it looks like this:
The wife will withhold sexual intimacy (and sometimes use it as a weapon) as a punishment to try to get the emotional intimacy she wants from her husband.
The husband is usually upset and doesn’t meet his wife’s emotional needs because his wife won’t meet the physical needs in the relationship (because a husband needs the physical connection first).
Sound familiar? This toxic game (or standoff) is played in many relationships.. and in this game, no one ever wins and the marriage suffers from it, many times ending in divorce, especially if they are not willing to talk about it and resolve it.
In this episode, we discuss the things couples can do to get both of their needs met so they can have a fulfilling marriage.
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26 mins