"If there ain't no water in the sea, it ain't the sea," said Nanny Ogg. "It's just a damn great hole in the ground.

The Witches Trials have come to Lancre and Granny Weatherwax is too well equipped for some. How will she take this news? HOW WILL SHE TAKE IT? PJ and Andy depart from continuity in a podcast without script or structure on this Discworld short from 'A Blink of the Screen'. Which one has their own Weatherwax-level boffo headology? Tune in to find out.

And check out their brand new big things:

Andy's Marenghi-style comedy horror book, Coastlines: After Dark https://book2read.com/coastlinesafterdark

PJ's BBC comedy short with James Martin. Country Rogues, https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0022d39/comedy-shorts-series-1-2-country-rogues

"Carrot is like Superman" - Andy "Vetinari is like Lex Luthor" - PJ Andy charts his loss of Disc virginity with a five-function diary and PJ reports in on his first time with the Feet of Clay audiobook. The most important man in the city has been poisoned and there's everything to play for. We rave and rant on golems, technology, the working class struggle, trans experiences, gender metaphors, relationships, class, and the psychogeography of Ankh-Morpork. We've got good at this. Deep dives into Cheri, Vimes, Angua and Carrot. Take a drink every time PJ says Jon Culshaw.

‘That’s basically all of opera, reely.’ ‘What? Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’ ‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff. But mostly it’s stout or stabbin.’ The witches return to Ankh-Morpork and a series of killings at the opera house. City Guide PJ Hart leads the way through PTerry's world of ghosts, Greebo and cootie dumplings. First-timer Andy Luke brings his knowledge of operatic motifs and shares a surprising anecdote about the consequences of reading Maskerade, and singing about it. We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

Two old infirm teachers who who have never read Interesting Times pack up their luggage and head for the Counterweight Continent. In a tale of cowardice and conquest Rincewind Redux comes under the spotlight and runs away from it quickly on a hunt for potatoes. The Silver Horde consider silverware. PJ shares his experiences living and working in Asia. Andy's hard line on avoiding spoilers pays off big time. And we talk all that boring political stuff that you, lets face it, tune in for, probably.

We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

"The music is alive!" Join us in the green room for a chat about rats music and rockabilly with Ridcully. Rock Dibbler's Cash Bar and roll his meat loaf! Newbie Andy plays up his theory of triquels. Old Hand PJ riffs on interconnectedness and the magic of music. Learn of our teenage misadventures in rock bands and all about Belfast's underground gig venues. It's live! This video is also available on Spotify, but that's cutting me own throat. Leave a comment and let us know how this book, or episode, makes you feel, and share your stories. SOCIALS https://twitter.com/discworldGNU https://facebook.com/discworldGNU https://www.patreon.com/andyluke HOST'S BIG PROJECTS The Devil's Own: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 338 Seconds Doctor Who: https://youtube.com/@AndrewLuke MENTIONED IN CHAT PTerry on Soul Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yWN55Ltgv8 The Broken Drum 8-Bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx7aYDgkjmo

"When you break rules, break 'em good and hard…" PJ and Andy plunge into Cosgrove Hall's 1997 adaptation of Wyrd Sisters and a simple filler episode becomes an experimental marathon. Rob Rackstraw Vs Christopher Lee: who will win? No, it's a serious question. Watch or listen with us as we talk animation, voice casting, the script, and how Les Dennis blew our minds with his surprise magnificence. NEW SHINY WE MADE FOR YOU Produced by PJ, 'John Meagher: The Divil's Own' at https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Produced by Andy, 'Milvian Bridge' at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWtsF2ILa2g FIND THE POD ON THE WEB Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworldGNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Our show on Wyrd Sisters (the novel) https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/iveneverreaddiscworld/episodes/Book-6--Wyrd-Sisters-e1v7gh1 Be sure to check out two regular new web series, '200 Seconds Sunny' and '338 Seconds Doctor Who' at @AndrewLuke 's YouTube channel.

Diversity. Gonne. Fireworks. Conscripted. Dartboard. Two working Northern Irish writers: Andy Luke, a newcomer to Ankh-Morpork, and PJ Hart, who knows his way round, and MEN AT ARMS, which sees a killer on the loose and massive changes to the Nights Watch. It's a heavy episode measuring Terry Pratchett's fun and innovation against the depths of policing reform, diversity hiring, wolves and identity politics, struggles against the gig economy and the DWP. So get ready to embrace dwarf culture, Leonardo Da Vinci's multitasking and remember, the I've Never Read Discworld podcast now accepts sponsorships from coffee companies. The Clown Face Registry of the UK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc9OcUrU8Bw Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Andy's YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke PJ's upcoming BBC Radio 4 show: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4

“Don't try the paranormal until you know what's normal.”

A podcaster olde, a podcaster newe, Granny Weatherwax borrowing, Nanny's Hedgehog song is blue. PJ explains Morris dancing and dismembered dolls. Andy disses The Kids and gets vicious about unicorns. Tune in for our feature presentation, Three Couplings and a Crossbow. Go B.A.!

Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldgnu

Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworldgnu

Andy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke

Marc Burrows Magic of Pratchett 2024 UK Tour: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/live-dates