Book Summary: *Boundaries for Your Soul* by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller
This book introduces a five-step process to help us understand and manage the different “parts” of ourselves — especially those emotions or behaviors we struggle with. By focusing on, befriending, inviting, unburdening, and integrating these parts, we can experience deeper peace, spiritual alignment, and inner unity. Key concepts include connecting our hurting parts with compassion, inviting Jesus to guide them, and transforming inner critics or protectors into allies.
Five Steps Overview:
1. **Focus** - Identify and locate the emotion or part within you.
2. **Befriend** - Approach this part with curiosity and compassion.
3. **Invite** - Open your spirit and invite God to guide this part.
4. **Unburden** - Release any pain or burdens this part has been carrying.
5. **Integrate** - Allow this part to adopt a new, supportive role in your internal “family.”
Key Concepts:
- **Spirit-Led Self**: Leading all parts with courage and love, in alignment with God.
- **Befriending the Enemy Within**: Understanding challenging parts instead of rejecting them.
- **Role Reassignment**: Allowing previously conflicted parts to work together harmoniously.
- **Compassion for the Exiled Parts**: Comforting parts that feel neglected or misunderstood.
Thought-Provoking Questions to practice Part's Work as we discussed in the call:
What’s an emotion you’re experiencing right now? Or a behavior that you’ve identified that you want to change?
1. Focus
• Where do you sense the feeling physically?
• Is there a thought or image that comes to mind when you focus on it?
• How far away from you is it?
• What is an early memory of this feeling?
2. Befriend
• How do you feel toward this part of your soul?
• If you feel anything other than curiosity or compassion toward this emotion, notice that part of you and ask it
to step back.
• Returning to the part of you that’s experiencing the original emotion: Can you extend compassion to this part?
• Is there more it wants you to know?
- What is this part good at?
3. Invite
• Would this part like to invite Jesus to be near?
• If not, what are its fears and concerns? Can it tell those things to Jesus?
• Ask Jesus if he wants to say or do anything, or to give you
a specific gift.
4. Unburden
• What burden has this part been carrying?
• Does it have any fears about giving up that burden?
• Now, how does this part want to release its burden?
• Does this part want anything in exchange, such as peace,
security, or the assurance of love?
5. Integrate
• Check in with any part of you that didn’t like your original
emotion.
- What is that part good at?
- What does she want you to know?
- What’s the ultimate goal of your highest self?
• What new roles do these two parts want to play in your internal family going forward?
• Are these 2 parts willing to be on the same team in helping you achieve that goal?
- Is there anything that Jesus wants to tell these parts to encourage or reassure them?
• Thank them and God for showing up for you today.
• After you’ve completed the Five Steps, set an intention to
check back in with these parts.
These questions should help you create a meaningful parts work session. Give it a try!
To learn more and get a free 1:1 coaching call with Erin... go to www.healthyrealfood.com now.
16 mins