Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

Dear God a zombie bit Myffaine! All merry hell breaks loose and life as we know it is in danger of being snuffed out from the planet on what is otherwise not too bad of a Tuesday. Barry and Myffanie have to negotiate a Zombie apocalypse in an effort to save the market value of the house they bought in Ptthwit five years ago. An accident in a nearby cosmetics laboratory has unleashed a zombie horde onto the village, one that may take over the entire planet if they don't stop it, or worse completely wipe out the extra value Barry's Garage extension put onto their property.

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

Oddly, it turned out the only people who could survive a zombie apocalypse are spice zombies. A squad of spice zombies must use their immunity to the pandemic that's turning everyone into real zombies to save the last of humanity. Will the lowest of society forgive the way they have been treated to save the people who look down on them, or will they just get smashed on the free drugs and booze?

For a millennia, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every continuity was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance, and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for - what they are not ready for - is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons alive or dead is purely inevitable.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

It's a time of great discovery and adventure. William desperately tries to cement his legacy into this revolution of industry with little success until he is gifted some designs for a space rocket. William and his manservant, Mumbandi, build the rocket, keen to prove all of his peers wrong and be the first to travel to the stars.

Everything was better in the '90s unless it was being attacked by ghost witches. If it was being attacked by ghost witches then it was not that great; although it happened at a great time and in an awesome setting.

This queen was never a princess. Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends. That all sounds very serious. It's not. It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me. Listen to it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.

Just because something is a conspiracy, that doesn't mean it is not true. Imagine if conspiracies were true: Not that weird, you might think. Now, imagine if all of them were true. That is the world into which Jim has just been thrust. Nothing is true, and everything is just plain weird.

If you think life is a game, wait until you play death! Chris and Steve were quite happy sitting in their rooms playing online games until events in a kabab shop changed everything and reset all of the rules. A deal with the Grim Reaper could give them both a second chance at life if they can play the game of their lives inside some of the games they have only ever seen through a screen, until now. Luckily, they are not alone; friends they had not met, or maybe they had, help the new guys - the Noobs!

Real love knows no realities. The multiverse's first power couple were once a lonely queen and a king who had lost his kingdom. This is the story of how a multiverse in Khaos brought them together.

The immensely experienced Steven Pacey narrates The Exhausting Summer of São Martino by Simon Carr. Set in a provincial town far removed from the modern world, the story follows the mayor, Prospero, as he navigates the politics of rural life - and his own affairs of the heart.

Saving the world was the first step towards, well, everything! Drew, Mary, Sabastian, and Teak are in a world of epic stuff that they can’t understand. An evil the universe had forgotten threatens to return, evil that’s still here is being a right pain, basically evil is just, well, it's being evil and nobody needs it's crap!

The fate of every living thing in the multiverse that has ever existed or is going to exist rests in the hands of a band of, well, weirdos if I am honest, but they are our only hope. Our reality and every possible reality are under attack from an evil force called Khaos that has sent apocalypse after apocalypse at every reality around the planet Earth. Not every version of Earth fell; a mighty few stopped the apocalypse sent by Khaos. These few are all that stand in the way of Khaos...these warriors, these heroes, these Apocalypse Blockers!

Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets to our existence are out there. Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his world turned upside down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!

We are back with all this business, so we are. You would think the church would be more careful with them doomsday books after what happened at Bishops Point, but it’s happened again, so it has. This time things are very grim. Santa himself and his whole operation up there in Lapland have been taken over by the Dark Lord.