Showing results by narrator "John" in All Categories

The Imperial Guard are the backbone of the Imperium’s military strength. While the Space Marines get all the glory, it’s the guard that holds back the tide of threats that would soon drown the Imperium by sheer weight of numbers. These audio dramas bring you into their tanks, platoons and trenches to see how ordinary men and women face the horrors of the 41st Millennium.

From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother's wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who has to make it all go as planned - even if it doesn't.

The goblin invasion is on...and a wizard's work is never done! After facing a hopeless siege, an implacable foe, and an impossible escape, you would think that Minalan the Spellmonger would be able to rest - but the armies of the undead goblin shaman Shereul (known as the Dead God to his human victims) are rolling over the Western reaches of the rustic Duchy of Alshar and is headed toward the heart of the Duchy of Castal. Thousands are fleeing for their lives as hordes of goblins pour out of Boval Vale and devastate the rugged fiefs of the Alshari Wilderlands.

After winning two wars against the Nemovorti, Minalan plans an expedition to The Lost Valley of Anghysbel, in the far north of his realm. It's there, in the caldera of a supervolcano at the edge of the tundra, he suspects many of the answers he so desperately needs might be hidden. The only problem is that thanks to the anti-magical properties of the jevolar, his spells won’t work; he’ll be without magic for the first time since he came into his Talent.

Hampton Court has been an arc of monarchy, revolution, religious fundamentalism, sexual scandals, and military coups. In this rich and vivid history, Gareth Russell moves through the rooms and the decades, each time focusing on a different person who called Hampton Court their home. Fascinating and engaging, The Palace is as atmospheric as it is gossipy and through the many sovereigns and servants that lived and worked in its halls reveals the personal tragedy and political importance of this extraordinary place.

John Hodgman - New York Times best-selling author, semifamous personality, deranged millionaire, increasingly elderly husband, father, and human of Earth - has written a memoir about his cursed travels through two wildernesses: from the woods of his home in Massachusetts, birthplace of rage, to his exile on the coast of Maine, so-called Vacationland, home to the most painful beaches on Earth.

The world is in economic meltdown, but a mining town on the edge of nowhere is booming. With the town's population exploding, it's easy enough to hide a crime—or even a dirty past. Banished to the stock squad after the fallout from a police frame-up, Detective Senior Sergeant Cato Kwong is brought in from the cold to solve the case of a torso washed up on the wild shores of the Great Southern Ocean. When Kwong's investigation lifts the lid on the exploitation of migrant workers and disturbs an even darker criminal mind, the fallen cop faces powerful opposition.

Sinister forces lurk in the corners of the Iron Kingdoms - restless souls, mischievous and cunning creatures, darker beings that bargain for mortal souls. Most pass unmarked, shunned, or avoided, but there is one group willing to seek out and study what others fear. In abandoned halls and forgotten ruins, the investigators from the Strangelight Workshop illuminate the darkness, armed with wisdom, curiosity, and specialized tools.

They call him father, liberator, warlord, Slave King, Reaper. But he feels a boy as he falls toward the war-torn planet, his armor red, his army vast, his heart heavy. It is the tenth year of war and the thirty-third of his life. A decade ago Darrow was the hero of the revolution he believed would break the chains of the Society. But the Rising has shattered everything: Instead of peace and freedom, it has brought endless war. Now he must risk all he has fought for on one last desperate mission. Darrow still believes he can save everyone, but can he save himself?

Hey, hey, book lovers, take off those big thick glasses - this is Deadpool speaking! Sorry Marvel, somethin' happened to your copy guy. Anyway, this is my first prose novel, and they got this dude Stefan Petrucha to write it. He's good people. He's written novels and comics. But here's the thing: This book is about dogs. Dogs that turn into big nasty monsters. And then I gotta kill 'em. Thing is, I like killing people - the ones that deserve it, anyway - but I won't kill dogs. So that's what we call a character dilemma.

Upon the ancient drysine moon/city of Defiance, the UFS Phoenix is being rebuilt, but her crew cannot do so in peace. Parren factions jostle for control of not only Defiance, but of the drysine data-core that Phoenix won at such an awful price. But the parren do not lay sole claim to that ancient knowledge, and within the bowels of the machine-city, something long-dead is awakening. While aliens battle, Captain Debogande struggles to decide his next step. Human emissaries beckon him home, while a terrible new threat drives him toward the far edge of Spiral space.

Notes from the author: The following is a short story I wrote in the Elantris world back in January of 2006. There were always a few holes in Elantris where I decided not to include viewpoints or sections of explanation in the name of streamlining, particularly at the end. In the back of my mind, I knew what happened. This story talks about one of those holes; it is meant to be heard after you’ve finished the novel and takes place during the events of the climax.

Some people are exceptionally manipulative. They can convince anyone about anything and lure them with their charm. They enjoy controlling others and will do anything to get what they want. Sound familiar? The bad news is that you can’t really escape them. But here comes the good news: you can beat them at their own game.

Virginia Keile has a secret dream. To have a second chance at loving the tall, handsome Cornish farmer she met - and foolishly lost - the heady summer she was a debutante. Life has taught Virginia a great deal in 27 years - about wedding a titled bachelor picked out by her mother, about a lonely marriage that ended in her husband's accidental death, and about nearly losing her children to her husband's mother and bossy Nanny. Now she has come back to picturesque Cornwall to rent a battered seaside cottage.

The mice of Brambly Hedge have many adventures but they always have time for fun too. All through the year, they mark the seasons with feasts and festivities and, of course, the mice never miss an opportunity to meet and celebrate. This collection contains four classic stories following their adventures throughout the year.

1786, Jerusalem College, Cambridge. The ghost of Sylvia Whichcote is rumoured to be haunting Jerusalem, since disturbed fellow-commoner, Frank Oldershaw, claims to have seen the dead woman prowling the grounds. Desperate to salvage her son’s reputation, Lady Anne Oldershaw employs John Holdsworth, author of The Anatomy of Ghosts a stinging account of why ghosts are mere delusion to investigate.

Captains Hawk and Fisher, the only honest cops in Haven, are up to their ears in the usual Haven business when a messenger from a far away land finds them and reveals their real identities and mission - bring a killer to justice and ascend to the throne.

Once every year, in the city of Sunja, gladiators Baylus, Goll, and Halm meet in the arena known as Sunja’s Pit. Their battles are epic, but deadlier still are the shadowy forces that conspire against them outside the Pit. Only by applying their brutally honed survival instincts can these brave warriors hope to win their freedom and exact grisly revenge upon their enemies.

In the land of Ingary, where seven league boots and cloaks of invisibility do exist, Sophie Hatter catches the unwelcome attention of the Witch of the Waste and is put under a spell. Deciding she has nothing more to lose, she makes her way to the moving castle that hovers on the hills above Market Chipping. But the castle belongs to the dreaded Wizard Howl whose appetite, they say, is satisfied only by the souls of young girls....

Harriet Manners knows many facts. And she knows everything there is to know about Paris...except what to do when you're the hottest new model at Fashion Week. Can Harriet find her je ne sais quoi, or will it be sacré bleu! on the runway? Find out in this hilarious summer-special Geek Girl novella from number one best-selling author Holly Smale.