Showing results by publisher "Tantor Audio" in Satire

A great foreword is more than just a few pages of self-indulgent frippery that comes before a book. A great foreword adds zest. It sets the stage for the page-turner you're about to open and perhaps even puts you in the locked room where a mystery happens or in the high-button shoes of a year gone by. A great foreword - sometimes - is even better than the book it precedes. So why not skip the boring actual-book part? Moving Foreword is a collection of introductions to imaginary books, written by real celebrities, comedians, musicians, and other writers with something to say.

A sexy rockstar walking into your hotel room sounds like a dream come true. When you're in the middle of some serious self-pleasure like I was, it's a freaking nightmare. It gets worse. What I thought was my room...was actually his. I'd just given last year's hottest new talent a performance worthy of my own Grammy. Now everyone is talking about the girl who got her rocks off in Brix Wilson's hotel room. Nobody knows I'm that girl and it's going to stay that way. It's not like I'm going to run into him again, right? Wrong.

Despite the odds, Princess Arabella of Avonia and rugged outdoorsman Will Banks fell in love while filming a reality show in the jungle. But that's another story. While she's making room in the royal closet for his hiking boots and backpacks - right next to the crown jewels - the show's producers are editing together film footage that could turn their romance into nothing more than a showmance. Private moments caught on tape and aired for the world's viewing pleasure are about to turn their world upside down.

Ben Riggs says he loves me. He says he hasn't stopped thinking about me since he broke my heart and chased me out of town all those years ago. I say, liar liar pants on fire. And boy, do those bright yellow, flame-resistant fireman pants look good on him. I'm aching to feel those big, rough hands clenching on my hips and to collect on the illicit promises burning in his dark blue eyes. Self-control goes up in flames every time he flashes that arrogant smile. So I give in - because a woman has needs. (Am I right, ladies?) He can have my body, but my heart is off-limits.

We've all been there. One minute, you're sprawled out on your bed, minding our own business, and the next, you're lying in the back seat of your best friend's car as she races you to the ER. And not the closest one either. No. You're headed to the one 50 miles farther out, because the one five minutes away is where you start your residency next week. So there you are, lying in cubicle nine, hoping like hell that the doctor about to examine you isn't young, sexy, or male. Of course, he's all three.

Ben who rides dragons is twice a hero. He's defeated all kinds of demons and learned how to transform into a chimera. That's powerful stuff for a mere cat. Oh, how proud his ancestors would be if they saw him today. In fact, he's far too powerful for Astravar, the mighty warlock and Ben's nemesis, who can't stand the thought of being defeated by a mere moggie. But now he has allied with the other warlocks and together they have a plan to destroy the kingdom.

Jim and Kram are back in their second hilarious romp around their secluded Southeast Alaskan island. With a serial killer at large (a cereal serial killer, to be more accurate), an unlucky entrepreneur with an out-of-control facial tic, and the nephew of a notorious crime boss setting up shop on the island, Lieutenant Jim Wekle will have his work cut out for him.

Against all odds, Ben the Bengal cat defeated the demon dragon and sent it back to the Seventh Dimension. Consequently, Ben's nemesis, the evil warlock Astravar, is ever so slightly miffed. A demon dragon was meant to take over the realm for Astravar, while the warlock stayed in a tower with a nice cup of tea and watched the conquest from afar. But it didn't quite work that way . . .

After the death of his fiancee due to medical errors, hospital pharmacist Daniel O'Dwyer escapes to Oak Island, North Carolina. The only things on his mind are fresh sea air, fresh seafood, Fat Tire Amber Ale, and the avoidance of any type of healthcare institution. But fate and jellyfish draw him back, and reluctantly, he agrees to go undercover to combat narcotic drug diversion at nearby Boiling Grove Community Hospital.

Vodka should come with a warning: mixing with karaoke will make you do stupid shit, like sing that song you wrote when you were 14 about the boy who broke your heart. At least he didn't see it. Oh wait. He did. I should've just stayed home. The only reason I came was to stop Lily from doing something stupid, like crash her ex-boyfriend's wedding. When I open my hotel room door to find Adam standing there, that sexy smirk tells me he's hasn't changed. He's still the same arrogant asshole who made my childhood hell.

The first time I saw Major Cade Jameson, his pants were around his ankles...Every line of hard-earned muscle beckoned me to "squeeze here." But I'm getting ahead myself. To tell this story right, I'll have to start with the present, not the past. I owe Cade a debt. A life for a life. My name is Brecklyn Brannon, and I'm not who I claim to be.

According to Max Disher, an ambitious young black man in 1930s New York, someone of his race has only three alternatives: "Get out, get white, or get along." Incapable of getting out and unhappy with getting along, Max leaps at the remaining possibility. Thanks to a certain Dr. Junius Crookman and his mysterious process, Max and other eager clients develop bleached skin that permits them to enter previously forbidden territory. What they discover in white society, however, gives them second thoughts.

Comic book artist Mike Mason arrives at San Diego Comic-Con seeking sanctuary with other fans and creators - and maybe to reunite with his ex - but when his rival is found murdered, he becomes the prime suspect. To clear his name, Mike will have to navigate every corner of the con, from zombie obstacle courses and cosplay flash mobs to intrusive fans and obsessive collectors, in the process unraveling a dark secret behind one of the industry's most legendary creators.

Today's political pundits express shock and disappointment when candidates resort to negative campaigning. But history reveals that smear campaigns are as American as apple pie. Anything for a Vote is a look at 200-plus years of dirty tricks and bad behavior in presidential elections, from George Washington to Barack Obama and John McCain. Let the name-calling begin!

Leave it to my little brother to come back home announcing he knocked up his fiancee and the wedding has been moved . . . to next month. When he tries to set me up with one of his football buddies, I tell him I'll be bringing my own plus-one. Only problem? I'm hopelessly single.

Walking into Jake's bachelor party to see my professor motorboating a stripper was awkward. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't completely hot for the guy. I had been since I first walked into that feline anatomy class and saw him performing chest compressions on a Persian cat named Andrew. So, as I sat in that strip club and knocked back my third tequila, I started thinking...I should make a move on him. When our eyes locked over the busty, blonde stripper who was gyrating against me and he smiled, it was all the encouragement I needed. I have no idea what happened next.

Saki has always followed the Blossom girls' house rules: Thou shalt prank the Dudes, thy beautiful fraternity neighbors, all day, every day; thou shalt not lose thy heart to them: no fraternizing with the arch-frat-enemy. Easy enough, right? Minor complication one: Saki gets warm all over whenever she sees Picasso, the dark-haired, hyper-sensual painting student with bright grey eyes, over there in the Dude den. Minor complications two through five: Picasso is head-over-heels for Saki, has an obsessive personality, and craves working her up. He brushes up against her.

Bianca: Pretty things distract me. But in my line of work, a distraction will get you caught - or in my case, blackmailed. But Connor Hayes isn't just furious with me. He's charming. And itching for payback. He doesn't just want my money, though. My hate. My beauty. My body. He requires it all as repayment. Right down to my empty soul. Hayes: Two wrongs don't make a right. Except when they are five-foot-seven and hotter than my exhaust pipe. So, I blackmailed her. It was either that or turn her in. I figured if anyone was going to put her in handcuffs, it was going to be me.

Paradise is supposed to be a short-term stop. Until Thor shows up. Okay, not the real Thor. But replace the hammer with a dog who won't stop barking, and Adam Thomsen is definitely long-haired Thor's doppelganger. Too bad for me, he's decided I'm the villain in his story. Too bad for him, his scowl is no match for my super-powered positivity.

A lost literary gem of Hollywood in the 1930s, I Lost My Girlish Laughter is a thinly veiled send-up of the actors, producers, writers, and directors of the Golden Age of the studio system.