Showing results for "david walliams" in Humorous Fiction

Dilly loved a good murder. Not a REAL murder. A made-up murder. One you would find in a murder mystery novel. Sherlock Holmes was her favourite detective, so much so that she had named her dog Watson after his faithful companion. Dilly had trained her Watson to sniff out clues and follow scent trails. Something he would happily do for a dog biscuit. Or two. So far, Dilly and Watson hadn’t had much luck cracking cases – beyond lost cats, or missing biscuits that turned out to have been eaten all along.

Millions of young listeners have loved the World's Worst Children tales. Now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever: The World's Worst Teachers. Think your teachers are bad? Wait till you meet this lot. These 10 tales of the world's most splendidly sinister teachers will have you running for the school gates. Dr Dread teaches science and is half man, half monster. Watch out for the ghastly Miss Seethe. She is always furious and she's on a detention rampage.

Are you ready to meet the World’s Worst Children? Five beastly boys and five gruesome girls! Like Sofia Sofa – a TV super-fan so stuck to the sofa that she’s turning into one! Or Dribbling Drew – a boy whose drool gets him into trouble on a school trip! And not forgetting Blubbering Bertha – a girl who bawls and tells terrible tales! Ready for more? The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine! Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories!

Meet the Blunders: Bertie, Betsy, their children, Brutus and Bunny, along with their beloved grandma Old Lady Blunder, and their pet ostrich, Cedric. An ostrich is not a sensible pet, but then the Blunders are not sensible people. This family of upper-class twits live in a crumbling country house named Blunder Hall. When their home comes under threat, they must embark on a series of comic misadventures to save it.

A story of prejudice and acceptance, funny lists and silly words, this new book has all the hallmarks of David’s previous best sellers. Our hero Ben is bored beyond belief after he is made to stay at his grandma’s house. She’s the boringest grandma ever: all she wants to do is to play Scrabble and eat cabbage soup. But there are two things Ben doesn’t know about his grandma.

Things are not looking good for Zoe. Her stepmother Sheila is so lazy she gets Zoe to pick her nose for her. The school bully Tina Trotts makes her life a misery - mainly by flobbing on her head. And now the evil Burt from Burt’s Burgers is after her pet rat! And guess what he wants to do with it? The clue is in the title....

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

NASA’s scientists thought he’d be the PERFECT chimp to send into space. Little did Chump know that he had been selected for a deadly-dangerous mission. If a chimp could orbit Earth, then chances were a human could too. With Chump the chimp at the controls of a spacecraft, what could possibly go wrong? As it turned out, EVERYTHING.

Welcome to the Midnight Gang! Midnight is the time when all children are fast asleep, except of course for...the Midnight Gang. That is when their adventures are just beginning.... When Tom gets hit on the head by a cricket ball, he finds himself at Lord Funt Hospital and is greeted by a terrifying-looking porter. Things go from bad to worse when he meets the wicked matron in charge of the children's ward.... But Tom is about to embark on the most thrilling journey of a lifetime!

The new heartwarming and hilariously brilliant story, beautifully read by number one best-selling author David Walliams. Dads come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are fat ones and thin ones, tall ones and short ones. There are young ones and old ones, clever ones and stupid ones. There are silly ones and serious ones, loud ones and quiet ones. Of course, there are good dads and bad dads.... A high-speed cops and robbers adventure with heart and soul about a father and son taking on the villainous Mr Big - and winning!

The hotly anticipated next novel from number-one best-selling author David Walliams, with audio hilariously read by the author himself! Jack's Grandpa wears his slippers to the supermarket, serves up Spam à la Custard for dinner, and often doesn't remember Jack's name. But he can still take to the skies in a speeding Spitfire and save the day.

Be warned! Awful animals lurk inside. These 10 tales of the world’s craziest creatures will have you shaking with laughter. You’ll never look at pets in the same way again! Marvel at Houdini, the magician’s rabbit. Take a trip around the world with Zoom, the supersonic tortoise. Gasp at the chaos created by Griselda, a grizzly bear with a big secret. And run for your lives! It’s Furp, the monstrous goldfish!

Joe has a lot of reasons to be happy. About a billion of them, in fact. You see, Joe's rich. Really, really rich. Joe's got his own bowling alley, his own cinema, even his own butler who is also an orangutan. He's the wealthiest 12-year-old in the land. But Joe isn't happy. Why not? Because he's got a billion pounds...and not a single friend. But then someone comes along, someone who likes Joe for Joe, not for his money. The problem is, Joe's about to learn that when money is involved, nothing is what it seems.

Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it was correct English to say he stinked, then he stinked as well.... Chloe sees Mr Stink every day, but she’s never spoken to him - which isn’t surprising, because he’s a tramp and he stinks. But there’s more to Mr Stink than meets the eye (or nose), and before she knows it, Chloe has an unusual new friend hiding in her garden shed.

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?

The beloved World’s Worst series has captivated millions of readers. You’ve met the world’s worst children, the world’s worst parents, the world’s worst teachers and the world’s worst pets – but are you ready for the world’s worst monsters? If you don’t like ghosts, ogres, zombies, vampires, aliens, werewolves or mummies, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS BOOK. Laugh along to these ten terrifying tales of marvellous monsters, brought to you by David Walliams.

The brilliant follow-up to David Walliams' best seller The World's Worst Children! Ten more stories about a brand-new gang of hilariously horrible kids from everyone's favourite children's author. If you thought you had heard about the world's worst children already, you're in for a rather nasty shock. The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine!

Sure, some parents are embarrassing - but they’re nothing on this lot. These 10 tales of the world’s most spectacularly silly mums and deliriously daft dads will leave you rocking with laughter. Pinch your nose for Peter Pong, the man with the stinkiest feet in the world...jump out of the way of Harriet Hurry, the fastest mum on two wheels...watch out for Monty Monopolize, the dad who takes all his kids' toys...and oh no, it’s Supermum! Brandishing a toilet brush, a mop and a very bad homemade outfit....

The new jaw-achingly funny novel from David Walliams, the number-one best-selling author! Make your appointment if you dare…. Darkness had come to the town. Strange things were happening in the dead of night. Children would put a tooth under their pillow for the tooth fairy, but in the morning they would wake up to find… a dead slug; a live spider; hundreds of earwigs creeping and crawling beneath their pillow. Evil was at work. But who or what was behind it…? Listen to this book and find out!

When Elsie, an orphan on the streets of Victorian London, hears about the mysterious Ice Monster - a woolly mammoth found at the North Pole - she’s determined to discover more.... A chance encounter brings Elsie face to face with the creature and sparks the adventure of a lifetime - from London to the heart of the Arctic! Heroes come in all different shapes and sizes in David Walliams’ biggest and most epic adventure yet!