Showing results for "David Walliams" in Growing Up & Facts of Life

Millions of young listeners have loved the World's Worst Children tales. Now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever: The World's Worst Teachers. Think your teachers are bad? Wait till you meet this lot. These 10 tales of the world's most splendidly sinister teachers will have you running for the school gates. Dr Dread teaches science and is half man, half monster. Watch out for the ghastly Miss Seethe. She is always furious and she's on a detention rampage.

Are you ready to meet the World’s Worst Children? Five beastly boys and five gruesome girls! Like Sofia Sofa – a TV super-fan so stuck to the sofa that she’s turning into one! Or Dribbling Drew – a boy whose drool gets him into trouble on a school trip! And not forgetting Blubbering Bertha – a girl who bawls and tells terrible tales! Ready for more? The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine! Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories!

Sure, some parents are embarrassing - but they’re nothing on this lot. These 10 tales of the world’s most spectacularly silly mums and deliriously daft dads will leave you rocking with laughter. Pinch your nose for Peter Pong, the man with the stinkiest feet in the world...jump out of the way of Harriet Hurry, the fastest mum on two wheels...watch out for Monty Monopolize, the dad who takes all his kids' toys...and oh no, it’s Supermum! Brandishing a toilet brush, a mop and a very bad homemade outfit....

A story of prejudice and acceptance, funny lists and silly words, this new book has all the hallmarks of David’s previous best sellers. Our hero Ben is bored beyond belief after he is made to stay at his grandma’s house. She’s the boringest grandma ever: all she wants to do is to play Scrabble and eat cabbage soup. But there are two things Ben doesn’t know about his grandma.

Meet the Blunders: Bertie, Betsy, their children, Brutus and Bunny, along with their beloved grandma Old Lady Blunder, and their pet ostrich, Cedric. An ostrich is not a sensible pet, but then the Blunders are not sensible people. This family of upper-class twits live in a crumbling country house named Blunder Hall. When their home comes under threat, they must embark on a series of comic misadventures to save it.

Joe has a lot of reasons to be happy. About a billion of them, in fact. You see, Joe's rich. Really, really rich. Joe's got his own bowling alley, his own cinema, even his own butler who is also an orangutan. He's the wealthiest 12-year-old in the land. But Joe isn't happy. Why not? Because he's got a billion pounds...and not a single friend. But then someone comes along, someone who likes Joe for Joe, not for his money. The problem is, Joe's about to learn that when money is involved, nothing is what it seems.

Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it was correct English to say he stinked, then he stinked as well.... Chloe sees Mr Stink every day, but she’s never spoken to him - which isn’t surprising, because he’s a tramp and he stinks. But there’s more to Mr Stink than meets the eye (or nose), and before she knows it, Chloe has an unusual new friend hiding in her garden shed.

The new heartwarming and hilariously brilliant story, beautifully read by number one best-selling author David Walliams. Dads come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are fat ones and thin ones, tall ones and short ones. There are young ones and old ones, clever ones and stupid ones. There are silly ones and serious ones, loud ones and quiet ones. Of course, there are good dads and bad dads.... A high-speed cops and robbers adventure with heart and soul about a father and son taking on the villainous Mr Big - and winning!

The beloved World’s Worst series has captivated millions of readers. You’ve met the world’s worst children, the world’s worst parents, the world’s worst teachers and the world’s worst pets – but are you ready for the world’s worst monsters? If you don’t like ghosts, ogres, zombies, vampires, aliens, werewolves or mummies, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS BOOK. Laugh along to these ten terrifying tales of marvellous monsters, brought to you by David Walliams.

The hotly anticipated next novel from number-one best-selling author David Walliams, with audio hilariously read by the author himself! Jack's Grandpa wears his slippers to the supermarket, serves up Spam à la Custard for dinner, and often doesn't remember Jack's name. But he can still take to the skies in a speeding Spitfire and save the day.

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

The new jaw-achingly funny novel from David Walliams, the number-one best-selling author! Make your appointment if you dare…. Darkness had come to the town. Strange things were happening in the dead of night. Children would put a tooth under their pillow for the tooth fairy, but in the morning they would wake up to find… a dead slug; a live spider; hundreds of earwigs creeping and crawling beneath their pillow. Evil was at work. But who or what was behind it…? Listen to this book and find out!

National Book Awards Audiobook of the Year 2014. From number one bestselling author David Walliams comes another heartfelt but hilarious hoot of an adventure. Stella Saxby is the sole heir to Saxby Hall. But awful Aunt Alberta and her giant owl will stop at nothing to get it from her. Luckily Stella has a secret - and slightly spooky - weapon up her sleeve....

Dennis was different. Why was he different, you ask? Well, a small clue might be in the title of this audiobook.... Charming, surprising and hilarious - David Walliams' beautiful first novel will touch the hearts (and funny bones) of children and adults alike. Now David teams up with Matt Lucas to produce an audiobook with a difference. Read by two of the brightest stars in sketch comedy, this lavish production brings the hilarious voices behind Little Britain to your nearest earphones.

Things are not looking good for Zoe. Her stepmother Sheila is so lazy she gets Zoe to pick her nose for her. The school bully Tina Trotts makes her life a misery - mainly by flobbing on her head. And now the evil Burt from Burt’s Burgers is after her pet rat! And guess what he wants to do with it? The clue is in the title....

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?

On a volcanic island, in the middle of shark-infested waters, stands the Cruel School. The lessons are appalling, the school dinners are revolting and the teachers are terrifying—especially the mysterious science teacher Doctor Doktur. When Larker is sent to the school, she quickly realises something very odd is going on...something involving Doctor Doktur, a pair of strange spectacles and a ‘Monsterfication Machine’. And ultimately she finds herself face to face with a real life Megamonster.

Danny thinks his dad is the most marvellous and exciting father any boy ever had - but Danny's dad has a very big secret. This secret leads them both into the strangest adventure of their lives, and a daring plot that makes Danny the champion of the world.

Nothing extraordinary has ever happened to Billy Smith. In fact, every single thing about him is ordinary, including his name. But when a documentary crew turns up at Billy’s school to film the new TV series School Daze, everything changes. Billy shouldn’t stand out: all the other kids are much more interesting than him. But when remixes of his boring class presentation go viral, Billy finds himself accidentally an overnight star.

Let's celebrate World Book Day with The Boy Who Could Do What He Liked, written and recorded by the author David Baddiel, especially for World Book Day on March 3rd 2016. This is the first audiobook to be produced for World Book Day - it’s a hugely entertaining and touching story of a boy called Alfie who likes to keep to strict routines and schedules. It’s all rules, rules and more rules in Alfie’s life.