DNA science has come a long way. It’s getting to the point where we can copy human beings — and I see a wonderful opportunity. I’ve always wanted to clone a sexy playmate of my very own, to keep and to love!Do-gooders don’t see that potential. When it comes to the science of cloning, they have their eyes set on its medical applications. Cloned skin, bones and livers are now today’s reality. Extinction lobbyists are excited at the idea of bringing back animals and plants that have left this world. Me? I just want to clone a drop-dead gorgeous chick or three and keep them in my basement for personal pleasure. That’s all — no big deal.I can’t wait until home cloning kits become available for everyday users like me. Most consumers will use their kits to grow themselves a spare heart or lungs. Pet lovers might use it to resurrect a dearly departed and much-missed animal. Grieving parents will use it to re-grow their dead babies. Not me. I just want one healthy, attractive brunette, blonde, and redhead. I’ve already picked them out and collected their DNA. As soon as the kits become available, I’ll grow myself a set of love slaves and live happily ever after. I’ll smile every damn day.Ethics and moralityThis goes against everything humans stand for, but if we’re prepared to re-grow a child, we’ve already crossed the immorality line. That’s about fixing a broken heart, not bettering the world.My excuse to clone someone is the same! My heart needs fixing, too!I know. What happened to living by the circle of life and accepting what nature deals us? The answer is that once we tamper with DNA on any level, all morality disappears. All bets are off.Bringing back an extinct bird isn’t part of a circle. It has good intentions behind it, but some serious Frankensteining is going on to make it happen. Where’s the morality in this nature circle? Do good intentions qualify as good morality? We’ll clone a liver yesterday to keep someone alive and pain-free today. We’ll clone an extinct tree tomorrow because it’s the right thing to do for the future. And then we’ll clone a race of superhumans the day after because they won’t get sick or diseased in future generations.Morals might slow the process, but they never cause it to stop. Cloning is coming. It’s just a matter of time.My intentions are good, too. It will bring happiness and great joy.Mine isn’t about rescuing the world or fixing the larger, existential picture. This is just for me. It’s a small pet project, safe and localised, so it’s harmless to everyone else. Nothing of my inner sanctum will spill and infect the precious external circle of life outside.I’ll be a responsible clone owner and sterilise the copies long before they reach sexual maturity. They won’t be able to reproduce even if they escape the basement. I’ll also terminate them when I’m broken and old. They weren’t born, so they never existed. Without family, they won’t be missed. My mess will be self-contained and humanely cleansed before I’m gone.The Benefits of DNA CopyingThe great thing about the cloning process is that you already know what you’ll get before you start. Teeth, hair, skin, intellect and personality. They are all there to see — making it a ridiculously brilliant process. (You can’t get that kind of guarantee in anything else.)Here are my three choices of ladies to bring into my private sanctuary:Charlene Powderkin. I met her in year seven. She had the shiniest black hair of all the girls at school. She made the sweetest of giggles whenever she caught me looking at her from across the classroom. Her presence was like feeling the sunshine on the first warm Spring day — and she never changed since becoming an adult. What a delightful lady. Yep, I’ll clone her first. I’d want that kind of warmth in my life forever. Definitely.Blondes are lovely, but it’s hard to get a good one. Most are shallow and self-absorbed. If I were to choose one to copy, I’d go with Annika Du Pont. She’s married to my friend John, but that doesn’t matter. I’d be with her copy, not her.According to her John, Annika has an insatiable sexual appetite. That will come in handy later.Jennifer Rutherford is a cute redhead. She’s sexy, curvy, adventurous and a little bit bisexual. I think she’d be the one to show the other clones how to set the pace in the bedroom. I’m not saying the others won’t be capable of pulling their weight or showing some initiative; it’s just that I don’t know them sexually. When it comes to sex, Jennifer is a known quantity. She’s not self-conscious or has any shame. She’s curious and playful. Her type of love is charming, liberating. I need my Jen clone to show the other clones how to do things properly. The four of us would be complete with Jen’s copy in the mix.These three sweet ladies represent some of my life’s greatest desires. They will light up my world. And we must ...
