Every time I step into her apartment, I remind myself of the rules. The rules that keep me from getting trapped in this affair. I’ve learned to be meticulous, almost paranoid, about my exit strategy. It’s a dance of caution and desire, a balance I’ve perfected over time.

I keep my car keys, shoes, and clothes strategically placed between the bed and the bedroom door. They’re within arm’s reach, ready to be grabbed at a moment’s notice. I never bring more than the bare minimum into the room — no personal items, no traces of my presence. It’s a calculated move, ensuring that nothing is left behind, nothing that could tie me to this place after I’m done.

Each time we meet, I’m acutely aware of the ticking clock. I savour the moments, but I never let myself get too comfortable. I know that when the time comes to leave, it has to be swift and decisive. There’s no room for hesitation, no second-guessing. When I choose to end this affair, it’ll happen quickly. There will be no debates, and there’ll be no looking back.

I’ve rehearsed the exit in my mind countless times. I can see it clearly as the sky is blue: the swift gathering of my things, the quiet slip out the door, the drive away without a backward glance. It’s a plan that gives me a sense of control, a way to protect myself from the emotional entanglement that affairs inevitably bring.

But for now, I’m still here, caught in the allure of forbidden moments. I know it’s a dangerous game, but the thrill is intoxicating. I tell myself I’m prepared and can walk away whenever I choose. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough to keep me from falling too deep.

As I lie next to her, I can feel the weight of my decisions. The exit strategy is my safety net, my way of maintaining a semblance of control in a situation that’s anything but. It’s a delicate balance, one that I navigate with care, always ready to make my escape.

-Mitchell

Mitchell Felding is a character in SEETHINGS. He’s entered a relationship with Nina under extreme caution, prepared to leave her the second things turn sour. To him, their arrangement is temporary. He knows Nina from another life. They dated decades ago and were set to marry when she abruptly ended it, leaving him disappointed and brokenhearted. They parted and lived different lives for nearly two decades.

Nina’s marriage to Lindesay didn’t last. She caught him with the babysitter, and that sealed their fate. The custody battle that followed was awful. She was bitter and angry over it, but at the end of that war, she was left alone. Mitchell called her out of the blue and he sounded like a breath of fresh air. Happy memories came flooding back. Their former teenage romance was rekindled once again.

Mitchell remembers the breakup as though it happened yesterday. The tragic ending took him by surprise. He predicts this new relationship will end for the same reasons. While their lovemaking is well-matched and brings them sexual fulfilment, he knows it does not lead to a happy-ever-after story. Their relationship is time-limited; therefore, if it’s to end, it will end on his terms… this time.

Internalized mind play between two former lovers during the throes of passion is just one part of SEETHINGS. How these two second-life lovers come to make contact again matters more. How it ends makes up another significant section.

You want to know how it ends, right?

But they needed somewhere to call their own, a symbol, and they felt a right to visit that symbolic place anytime they liked, even if it meant fighting for it.

And they did, many times over, no matter who or what stood in their way.

Did someone say that sounds like The Crusades?

Yes, it does.

A string of Church-sanctioned wars spanning centuries were waged to reclaim (or claim) Jerusalem on behalf of the Christian citizens. Armies went to Jerusalem for religious reasons but returned with riches instead.

Let’s not list all of what and who was plundered and abused: gold, silver, gems, art, women, children. Instead, let’s mention the desire to go back and do it over again. Christians successfully reached their objective several times, only to lose it several times, too. Oh yes, the Crusades won their goals, but they also lost them.

Lost on purpose?

Is that possible?

Sure. Why not? Going back to Jerusalem in the name of Christ allows more plundering to occur. Jerusalem was superfluous. It was about the war, not the town. The Church became extremely wealthy from the Crusade’s journeys to this so-called Holy Land. When those wars were over, Vatican City State became a sovereign nation. Let me say that again. A church bought its right to be an independent country within another country, using the wealth it stole from others.

Why a sovereign nation?

To protect its ill-gotten wealth with rules and laws of its own. The layers of security that guard it are many and complex. You and I will never know the depth of the secrets hidden behind those walls.

What inspired this latest post was listening to Chris DeBurgh’s fabulous song ‘Jerusalem Is Lost‘ and hearing history repeating itself in every lyric.

Mankind loves a war. We do war well. Peace unsettles powerful people enough to create a destabilizing war. It’s not just about retribution, fury, liberty, justice or righteousness. It’s also an opportunity to take what’s not theirs to own. They use war to acquire foreign riches, lands, and people. There is much to gain in winning a good war.

-Mitchell