We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we’re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season.

Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to look at traditions or expectations and consider which ones to prioritize
• How to increase felt safety- for you and your kids- at holiday events, travel, or expectations
• How to set boundaries
• How to offer yourself compassion if setting boundaries feels really hard

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/lowdemandholidays

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

It’s that sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person.

In today’s episode, we are going to break down the neurobiology of walking on eggshells and talk about what you can do to shift out of this pattern- even if you can’t change the other person’s behavior.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neurobiology of that ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling
• How to consider the possibility of feeling safe when you are safe
• The impossible set-up our brain puts us in that leaves us stuck feeling like we are walking on eggshells- and what to do about it

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}
• Gratitude For Our Watchdog & Possums Parts {EP 200}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/eggshells

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The
Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts—not the behaviors themselves—can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope.

Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

Main Takeaways:

• Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.
• Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids’ protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.
• The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude—even in small amounts—can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• EVERYONE Has A Watchdog and Possum Brain! {EP 178}
• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/gratitude

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to break down relational skills as brain-based skills
• How to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• NEW!!!! Brain-First Parenting Podcast! With Eileen Devine

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationalskills

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
• To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
• Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How connection and protection can get tied together
• How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
• The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}
• Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship
• How to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperation
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner world
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's environment
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}
• What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}
• Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}
• Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}
• Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That even oppositional behaviors make total sense
• Spending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the body
• Changing the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety is
• The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthere
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club will be open NEXT week for a few short days for new members. If you could use some support getting through this stressful season, we'd love to support you!

Read all about The Club at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources