Episodes

  • 🌖♍️Ep16: “Squid Game” & Satisfiability w/ Kevin

    🌖♍️Ep16: “Squid Game” & Satisfiability w/ Kevin
    Jan 17 2025

    (This episode contains spoilers for seasons 1 and 2 of Squid Game)


    How can I connect and hold space for someone who is moved by a story that I refuse to watch? How does capitalism thrive in binary/hierarchical thinking: good vs bad, guilt vs innocence, us vs. them? Is consent and free will even possible in capitalism? In what ways is Squid Game a metaphor for reality shows like Love Island? How can a practice of satisfiability and finding your “enough” disrupt the insatiable momentum of capitalism? How can we create the world we prefer while also fighting against unjust systems?


    This episode flips roles as Kevin sits Kristyn down to give a synopsis of Season 1 and Season 2 of Squid Game. Then together they riff on how the puritanical obsession with innocence and perfection has kept us immobilized from just doing less harm and feeling more satiation in unjust systems of exploitation and “never enough.”


    —-------------------------

    Grateful for the learning alluded to in today’s episode:


    -Toi Smith


    -Carmen Spagnola’s podcast with Toi Smith, courses on Attachment and Contact Nutrition on the Numinous Network
    -Ruben Anderson and the #smallanddeliciouslife
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    1 hr and 59 mins
  • S2E6- 🌕♋️ Severance Season Synchronicities- A friendly chat w/ Jamie

    S2E6- 🌕♋️ Severance Season Synchronicities- A friendly chat w/ Jamie
    Jan 13 2025
    (This season contains spoilers for the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple) In what ways does Santa prime kids for the blind obedience to authority and black and white purity thinking that fascism requires? How can stories help us overcome our fear response and reach for things we deeply yearn for? Are reality TV shows (like Love Island) just another high demand group keeping us dysregulated and disconnected? Is it even possible to untangle the web of fascism, diet culture, and Christian fundamentalism? Kristyn with a Why sits down for a friendly chat with her BFF Jamie to discuss the synchronicities that have arrived since they invited Severance into their lives. 0-6:00: Introduction 6:00: Santa Claus as Milchek 11:48: The radical and uncomfortable task of creating more spaciousness from the demands of our jobs 24:30: Jamie connects S2E3 to Love Island and reality TV 35:00: Jamie connects S2E3 to Diet Culture and Christian Fundamentalism 43:36: Kristyn connects S2E3 to the November election in the USA 48:41: Kristyn updates on the state of her marriage post S2E2 55:28: S2E4- how Subversive Smut can prepare the masses to confront “Big Lies” 57:00: Burt’s invitation to return to the “1st edition” of stories and intuitive connections with the divine from S2E5 1:06:30: Stories as a way to connect and companion ourselves in our shared human experience 1:10:00 Outro —--------------------------------------------- Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode: Tia Leving’s Instagram and Substack Carmen Spagnola’s Podcast on Fascism Sophie Strand’s novel: “The Madonna Secret” Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams As always:---------------------------------- Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams Shout out for the artistic assistance of: Matt Schubbe (Logo) Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)
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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • S2E5- 🌑♑️ History & Education’s Role in Radical Remembering- A friendly chat about Severance Season 1 w/ John

    S2E5- 🌑♑️ History & Education’s Role in Radical Remembering- A friendly chat about Severance Season 1 w/ John
    Dec 30 2024
    (This season contains spoilers for the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple) What are all the ways that we sever from parts of ourselves? How does public school utilize the tools of “the break room” to foster compliance rather than embody liberation? How was Helly’s embodied elitism a catalyst for her Innie to revolt? How does Burt living out his “1st edition” beliefs radicalize Irv into queering his “ramrod straight” self? What does it take for Dylan to discover that the fingertraps of capitalism are insufficient and isolating? Kristyn with a Why sits down for a friendly chat with her friend John Klingler- a public school history teacher and somatics coach. They discuss the push-pull between the Innies’ search for meaning and mattering with the Outties’ quest to forget. 0-7:50: Introduction 7:50: Thoughts from a history teacher, parallels between Severance and public schools, “Break room” as “break your will room” & training subconscious that “it is dangerous to rest” 27:15: Helly’s Embodied Anti-Capitalism– her elitism is a liability to Lumon on the Severed floor where she is no longer trying to earn secure attachment with her father 37:20: Irv’s radicalization 1:04:45: Dylan’s radicalization 1:14:30: Outro —--------------------------------------------- Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode: Work with John at buriedwisdom.com Resmaa Menakem’s book: My Grandmother’s Hands Carmen Spagnola’s Hypnotherapy and courses on Secure attachment & Contact Nutrition on The Numinous Network, preorder her book here Hospicing Modernity (Book) *Prentis Hemphill’s book: What it takes to heal* *Prentis uses they/them pronouns, in the pod Kristyn clumsily used “women” to relate Prentis Hemphill’s embodiment work IRL to Reghabi’s reintegration work in "Severance" and pronouns matter. The Hive- in-person and online classes in Cincinnati Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams As always:---------------------------------- Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams Shout out for the artistic assistance of: Matt Schubbe (Logo) Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)
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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Solstice December 2024

    Solstice December 2024
    Dec 21 2024

    This bonus and first ever mini-sode is a practice of trust--recorded, edited and uploaded in an hour.


    Kristyn takes a moment to celebrate the podcast's half revolution around the sun: Timeline peering the last six months, sharing best predictions for early 2025 (more subversive smut coming soon?!), and offering a tearfelt thank you to listeners-


    THANK YOU for sitting around my campfire with me the last 6 months.
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    8 mins
  • S2E4- 🌕♊️ Pollinating Pleasure & “Subversive Smut”: A friendly chat about ACOTAR with Burju

    S2E4- 🌕♊️ Pollinating Pleasure & “Subversive Smut”: A friendly chat about ACOTAR with Burju
    Dec 14 2024
    (This season contains spoilers for the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple, and this episode contains spoilers for the romantic fantasy (romantasy) series “A Court of Thorns and Roses” (ACOTAR) by Sarah J Maas) How can we increase intimacy with someone by opening ourselves to the stories that are speaking to them? What can we learn about our own liberation when we engage in acts we have been conditioned to think of as “taboo”? How can sci-fi and fantasy stories become our guides and companions to help us grapple with the realities of our world? How can an author’s strategic use of attachment biology and “contact nutrition” enable readers to completely shift their allegiances? What makes romantasy so fricking compelling, anyway!? Kristyn with a Why sits down for a friendly and integrative chat with her friend and fellow “movement fantasy baker” Burju about creativity, romantasy, and grappling with late-stage capitalism through the lens of “ACOTAR.” 0-17:39: Intro, connection to Severance, pollination and polyamory 17:45-28:41: Intro to Burju, Burju answers the pod’s 3 questions 28:45-45:40: Why we love ACOTAR/How Fantasy helps us see our life 45:40-1:04:28: Our overview of ACOTAR 1:04:28-1:16:13: Fiction and Desire/Romantic love as metaphor for a creative practice, secure attachment for the sake of creating 1:16:13-1:25:11:Fantasy/Symbols are psychological, not literal/remembering that wealth is a symbol/side-eyeing the hoarded wealth of the romantasy genre’s justice-minded revolutionary love interests 1:25:11-1:33:50: Kristyn breaks down “Contact Nutrition under the Mountain”- how stories wield the tools of attachment to change readers’ minds 1:33:50-1:46:04: Power/The Dionysian roots of Rhysand 1:46:04-2:22:30: “Subversive Smut,” locating ourselves in a story, how romantasy can radicalize readers to feel solidarity with CEO assassins, grappling with what it is to have power and own a business in late-stage capitalism 2:22:30-end: When people/practices we thought were the destination end up being stepping stones, how the Feyre character in ACOTAR can help connect us to our own agency —--------------------------------------------- Grateful for all the learning and inspiration in today’s episode: Sophie Strand’s Substack and Writings on Dionysis Natalie Wynn’s Contrapoints video on Twilight/Romantasy Celeste Davis’ Substack on Elizabeth Gilberts’ discussion of degraded vs divine masculine and feminine Carmen Spagnola & courses on Secure attachment & Contact Nutrition on The Numinous Network, preorder her book here Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams Recommendation for healing for patriarchal males- bell hooks As always:---------------------------------- Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams Shout out for the artistic assistance of: Matt Schubbe (Logo) Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)
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    2 hrs and 33 mins
  • S2E3- 🌑♐️ Severance Season 1- A Numinous Summary- w/ Carmen Spagnola

    S2E3- 🌑♐️ Severance Season 1- A Numinous Summary- w/ Carmen Spagnola
    Nov 30 2024

    (This season contains spoilers for the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple)


    How might someone heal from a coercive relationship or high demand group? How can we identify fascism and fight tyranny and why must we? How can we respond when escape is off the table? When trauma severs the mind from the body, what are the pros and cons of “top down” vs “bottom up” healing modalities? How can we discern when “wellness” isn’t safe? How is absurdity a hallmark of collapse?


    Kristyn with a Why chats with her teacher and mentor Carmen Spagnola about disorganized attachment, cult tactics, fascism, “wellness,” and collapse through the lens of Severance.


    --------------------

    0-11:14 Intro to episode

    11:14-18:00: Intro to Carmen

    18:00-31:51: Petey’s Protocol- How to heal from high demand groups

    31:51-45:31: The disorganized field of Lumon- How fascism depends on cult tactics of hijacking your nervous system

    45:31-58:44: When Mark sculpts a tree/When “wellness” isn’t safe- Somatics and “top down” vs “bottom up” healing modalities

    58:44-1:08:40: Severance is absurd and so is Collapse- "We are in the Bread and Circus Phase"

    1:08:40-1:21:22: a liberated future for Helly in Season 2, collectively imagining a better future.

    1:21:22-end: If you enjoyed this interview, you can preorder Carmen’s next book!/ Outro


    Scene Links—------------------------

    Wellness Session


    —---------------------------------------------

    Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode:

    PreOrder Carmen Spagnola’s book here

    Alexandra Stein’s book: Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems

    Timothy Snyder’s Book: On Tyranny


    As always:----------------------------------

    Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song:

    Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song

    “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams

    Shout out for the artistic assistance of:

    Matt Schubbe (Logo)

    Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)
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    1 hr and 30 mins
  • S2E2- 🌕♉️ My Real Life Disorganized field on the journey to Secure Attachment- Marital “Discord Mode” with Kevin

    S2E2- 🌕♉️ My Real Life Disorganized field on the journey to Secure Attachment- Marital “Discord Mode” with Kevin
    Nov 15 2024
    (This season is related to the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple) How is it that, once you start tracking power, rank, and privilege- you start noticing how the invitation for liberation is always bottom-up? How do we reach for authenticity in relationships where one person’s pain activates the other’s shame response? How can we utilize ritual to metabolize and mobilize disorganization while practicing security? Can cis-het women practice pleasure through embodying moments of the “Mediocre Sitcom Dad” archetype? Kristyn with a Why engages in an emotionally raw “discord mode” with her partner Kevin. If you like Reality TV- especially fraught emotional predicaments based on historical abandonment wounds and attachment patterns, you may really enjoy this “Reality Podcast.” Please tend to your nervous system and listen with caution, while moving/tasking, and/or taking many breaks, or even consider skipping this episode altogether. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. 💖 (See time stamps and links to the scenes, songs, and resources mentioned in the podcast below.) 0-5:18- Intro, locating this episode post US election, edited on Nov 6th 5:31-13:00- My Reality Podcast, Persephone making Hades listen 13-15:00- Overview of the three parts 15:00-18:00- Intro Part 1, Marriage Ritual, and Content Warning Part 1 (Recorded Oct 23rd) 18:13-33:20- Ani DiFranco giving Kristyn purpose, the small request that is HUGE, laying to rest her tendency to protect Kevin from her authenticity companioned by Helly’s sacred “FUCK NO!” 33:20-38:16- “Bottom up” versus “top down” strategies for reintegration (What was the protocol that Petey ignored?) Part 2 (Recorded Oct 23rd, 2 hours after pt 1) 38:26- 1:14:41- Kevin’s impulse to want to be absolved of culpability in holding space for kristyn's pain, the usefulness of guilt vs shame, the difference in consistency and perfection, the “Capital R” Request of not activating her trauma, and “small r” requests to “plump up her amygdala” How Kristyn and Kevin’s fear of failure manifests in opposite actions, introducing the archetype of the “Mediocre Sitcom Dad” Part 3(Recorded Oct 28th) 1:15:00-end Kevin and Kristyn Summarize events of the previous 5 days, and an unrecorded conversation, how Jacob Collier’s Little Blue gave Kevin “bottom up” clarity, “Discord Mode” requires different practices than other modes of conversation (and based on the Power Rank and Privilege), revisiting the “mediocre SHITcom dad”, and the profound practice of the community care that is sourdough. #severance #attachment #disorganizedattachment #anidifranco #hadestown #reghabi #liberation #imnoheroine #couplestherapy #realityTV #jacobcollier #littleblue #mediocresitcomdad #kevincanfhimself #sourdough —--------------------------------------------- Grateful for all the learning and inspiration in today’s episode: My teacher Carmen Spagnola for her marriage miniseries, courses on Secure attachment, Contact Nutrition, and collapse on The Numinous Network Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams As always:---------------------------------- Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams Shout out for the artistic assistance of: Matt Schubbe (Logo) Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing) —------------------------------------------ Free Palestine! There are many ways to support the Palestinian people right now. Join a student encampment near you, call or email your congressperson via the JVP’s daily calls or email them here. 94 members of Congress have called for a ceasefire, can you help to add yours to the list? ​ Spread the word on social media, or check out Operation Olive Branch, a mutual aid organization that has compiled a list of GoFundMe’s for those in urgent need.
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    2 hrs and 15 mins
  • S2E1: 🌑♏️ Severance and Disorganized Attachment- A friendly chat with Jamie

    S2E1: 🌑♏️ Severance and Disorganized Attachment- A friendly chat with Jamie
    Nov 1 2024
    (This season is related to the show “Severance”- season 1 aired in 2022 on Apple) In what ways is capitalism a cult: a high demand group that thrives off of the confusion and insecure attachment of its members? How do dystopian “fictional” stories such as Severance equip us for the realities of our present moment? Kristyn with a Why has a friendly chat with her BFF Jamie about witchy shit (like sourdough, cats, and astrology) as well as an introduction into the themes of attachment- especially disorganized attachment- in the world of Severance. (The Roadmap to Liberation with rev angel Kyodo williams is happening NOW, if you would like to register, you can do so here) (See time stamps and links to the scenes mentioned in the podcast below.) Intro 0-4:00 Settling in with Jamie: 4:04-5:46 Sourdough Synchronicities 5:54-9:44 Lunation chit chat 9:50–14:50 Why Jamie? Our relationship history: 15:00-24:20 Why Severance? How we got here?: 24:20- 31:48 Intro to Disorganized attachment : 31:55- 43:00 What is Secure Attachment?: 43:07–45:06 Types/Levels of Severance (and concussion anecdote) 45:10-58:30 Examples of the Disorganized field in Severance: 58:34-1:21:26 Themes of Severance: 1:21:35-1:26:50 SSW Questions/Sourdough/Signoff 1:26:57- 1:31:59 My Why/Locating myself in Severance: 1:33:22-1:36:51 Signoff/Invitation to rev’s Roadmap 1:37-end Scene Links—------------------------ Wellness Session —--------------------------------------------- Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode: My teacher Carmen Spagnola for her courses on Secure attachment, Contact Nutrition, and Collapse on The Numinous Network The Small and Delicious Life- Ruben’s easiest and most accessible sourdough ever! Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams As always:---------------------------------- Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song “Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams Shout out for the artistic assistance of: Matt Schubbe (Logo) Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing) —------------------------------------------ Free Palestine! There are many ways to support the Palestinian people right now. Join a student encampment near you, call or email your congressperson via the JVP’s daily calls or email them here. 94 members of Congress have called for a ceasefire, can you help to add yours to the list? ​ Spread the word on social media, or check out Operation Olive Branch, a mutual aid organization that has compiled a list of GoFundMe’s for those in urgent need.
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    1 hr and 40 mins