On the season finale of Privilege With Purpose, we discuss Power Struggles. 

Power Struggles are problematic because the represent a form of debate with no winner. As a result, most research will tell you to avoid power struggles all together. Unfortunately, power dynamics are so strong in today's society, it is unlikely they can be avoided.   

In this episode, we give you some strategies for navigating power struggles in your personal relationships as well as in larger, more complex issues like racism. Additionally, we look back on each of our past episodes and discuss the power struggles inherent to each of those topics and how they are actually all intertwined with each other. 

Our belief at Privilege With Purpose is that avoidance is not the right strategy. We need to learn how to navigate power struggles and have uncomfortable conversations. By doing so, we illuminate context, our own and others, we can break down all the ISMs and begin to heal some of the divisions in our society. 

Please visit us at PrivilegeWithPurpose.com or drop us a line at conversations@privilegewithpurpose.com to join the conversation!

Episode Highlights:

0:01 Intro

1:55 Defining power struggles

3:30 Control and authority

4:37 Misdirected energy

5:40 Tying Power Struggles to each of our episodes

14:46 Navigating a power struggle

19:53 Cost and payoff of racism

26:35 How to recognize when there's a power struggle

31:47 Wrap up

35:12 Bonus Footage Preview

On Privilege With Purpose, we openly talk about subjects that are complex, uncomfortable, and even polarizing. And in this episode we tackle one of the most complex, most uncomfortable and most polarizing subjects there is:

Racism.

We know there are many layers to racism, and acknowledge that it can be an emotionally charged topic. We peel back a few of those layers and discuss the roots of division in the African American community, white confusion, unconscious bias and unconscious reaction, and how aliens would end racism. 

There is more work that needs to be done, and in many ways, we are all missing the mark on racism, and the sooner we stop using racism as a way to divide and distract us, and instead embrace our collective humanity, the sooner we will find forgiveness and healing.  

Episode Highlights:

0:50 Intro

1:40 White confusion

2:22 Why can't black people seem to get it together

3:00 History of African American division 

6:40 Sins of the Father

7:51 Generational effects of white bias

8:23 More white confusion

11:50 White unconscious bias and black unconscious reaction 

19:20 Ongoing division and the need for healing

23:25 Deflecting white responsibility

24:16 Forgiveness, the end of racism & aliens

25:47 The day racism ceased to exist

26:38 Weaponizing racism

29:15 A cycle of Power Struggles 

30:11 Wrap up

32:09 Bonus Footage preview

32:53 On the next episode

Episode Links:

Privilege With Purpose

Black Lives Matter

A riot is the language of the unheard - MLK

Maya Angelou Quote

On Privilege With Purpose, we openly talk about topics that can be uncomfortable, even taboo, and invite you into vulnerable spaces, even when that means putting our own stories out there.  

This episode in particular is personal because Daava was in a sexless marriage, and Alena suffered through sexual incompatibility with her ex-husband. This is a subject that is mostly covered in anonymity and we felt it was important to bring it out into the open and put a face to it.  

So what is a Sex Zombie?

It comes from the clinical term of dead bedroom, which is defined as 2 people in a relationship that have sex 10 or less times per year. In many circumstances, issues arise from the higher libido person in the relationship becoming all consumed looking for opportunities to have sex with the lower libido person, causing both physical and mental pain, and, often times, damaging the relationship beyond repair. 

In this episode we discuss the signs you may be a Sex Zombie, how it affects your relationship, and some things you can do about it.  

If you or someone you know is in a sexual, physical or emotionally abusive relationship, please seek appropriate help.

Check out the numerous resources listed below if you need help in your relationship. 

Episode Highlights: 

0:49 Intro

1:39 Definition of Sex Zombie

2:38 Signs of sexless marriage/relationship from Melinda Fox

3:10 Daava calls bullshit

5:20 Signs of sexless marriage/relationship from Huff Post

7:35 Daava's experience in sexless marriage

9:10 Alena's experience with sexual incompatibility 

9:58 Get help

11:33 Spontaneous Desire vs. Responsive Desire

15:44 Asexuality

16:57 Are you really communicating and getting at the root cause?

20:50 Three choices in a dead bedroom

23:15 Infidelity

24:54 What to do if you're Sex Zombie

29:24 Wrap up

30:27 Bonus footage preview

31:21 On the next Privilege With Purpose 

Episode Links:

Privilege With Purpose

Contact Us: conversations@privilegewithpurpose.com

7 signs of sexless marriage

10 signs of sexless marriage

AASECT

Ester Perel

Michele Weiner-Davis Ted Talk

When to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage by Jessa Zimmerman

Talkspace

Regain

The Relationship Place

This is Privilege With Purpose with Daava Mills and Alena Francis. They are inviting you in on difficult conversations about topics that are normally only whispered about behind closed doors. 

in this episode, Daava and Alena challenge whether or not the self help industry is actually helping. We're not saying that the individual self help gurus or individual self help organizations discussed in this episode are cults, but rather, that the self help industry more broadly acts like a cult, selling us on a life of happiness with things that we don't actually need and that will not make us happy. 

The fact is, there is no magic bullet for health and happiness. Remember your life is yours and your happiness is up to you. You need to be accountable to yourself and to your needs. 

Don't let anyone tell you what happiness should be for you.  

1:39 Intro

2:19 Landmark

5:05 Self help is not self helping

6:36 Self help is all about the money

13:11 Did you manifest it or was it white privilege?

14:25 Who are the top spiritual leaders

15:25 Tony Robbins

17:24 Boiling it down to the lowest common denominator

22:08 The help people really need

25:36 Self proclaimed gurus are not even experts in their fields

28:31 Oprah is basically street smart

29:38 Takeaways

36:28 Bonus Footage

36:53 Are you a Sex Zombie? Episode 4 Preview

Episode Links:

Landmark

Psychobabble

Oprah

Tony Robbins

Brené Brown

Rachel Hollis

John of God

Episode 2 | The practical and societal implications of Bra Sizes

This is Privilege With Purpose with Daava Mills and Alena Francis. They are inviting you in on difficult conversations about topics that are normally only whispered about behind closed doors. 

So why did the ladies bring their bras with them for this episode?

On the surface this may seem like a conversation about why it can be difficult for average and larger sized women to find bras that fit properly. But as the ladies dig a little deeper into the discussion, they reveal the power struggle that exists between men and women, society's ongoing effort to police women's bodies, and the not-so-subconscious tactics of certain lingerie companies about what types of women they want wearing their products and which ones they don't. 

Episode Highlights:

02:45 History of the bra

03:57 Shopping for bras

05:16 Victoria's Secret: Limited larger sizes, bad fits and a rash

09:46 Cacique & Soma: Average and larger sizes were available and displayed

11:44 Alena's 3 types of bras

12:43 Daava's bras

15:31 The issues surrounding bras: Stores catering to 36" and smaller, lack of diverse "nude" colors, minority women and bras

18:18 The Power Struggle: Free the nipple, sexism, double standards and more inclusivity. 

28:15 Episode 3 Preview: The Cult of Self Help

Episode Links:

Victoria's Secret: https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/

Cacique: https://cacique.lanebryant.com/

Soma: https://www.soma.com/store/

Nuudii: https://nuudiisystem.com/

Free the Nipple: https://www.instagram.com/freethenipple/?hl=en

Privilege With Purpose Episode 1 | The effects of Cancel Culture and what to do about it

This is Privilege With Purpose with Daava Mills and Alena Francis. They are inviting you in on difficult conversations about topics that are normally only whispered about behind closed doors. 

The idea for this episode came out of a conversation in a grocery store parking lot, with Daava recalling that she bought 2 huge cases of Snapple for her wedding because the owner of the property for the reception requested no alcohol. Alena responded "you didn't bring alcohol, but you brought the KKK?!"

In this episode, Daava and Alena discuss cancel culture, what it is, why we do it and what we can do about it. Specifically they discuss the differences between a boycott and cancel culture, the importance of researching the truth about rumors, and a biological explanation on why pandemic depression and anxiety may have caused a the recent surge in cancel culture. 

Episode Highlights:

02:14 Jay Z started a boycott of Cristal Champagne 

05:27 Difference between Boycott and Cancel Culture 

06:44 Definition of Cancel Culture.

07:05 Cancel Culture is at the intersection of the dunning krueger effect and confirmation bias

12:40 Virtue signaling vs. problem solving: Why are we canceling instead of taking the time to celebrate other cultures. 

17:05 Why has there been a surge of Cancel Culture since the pandemic 

18:00 Are we using Cancel Culture to cope with our anxiety and depression?

24:00 What would Cristal have to do to win Alena back as a customer?

25:50 Once a racist always a racist

26:55 Privilege With Purpose Season 1 Preview

27:30 Once a racist always a racist, continued

32:37 Daava raps

33:06 What should people be doing to stop Cancel Culture and redefine our relationship with others.

36:48 Episode 2 Preview

Episode Links:

Jay Z Boycotts Cristal Champagne article 

Snapple and the KKK

Snapple KKK Label

Snopes - is the Snapple/KKK rumor true: 

Chick filA and the LGBTQ community 

The Dunning Krueger Effect: 

What you are about to hear is REAL. Two women of privilege, their views shaped by their divergent backgrounds. 

A white woman from an evangelical, midwest, military household and a multi-racial philosopher from a wealthy southern California family. 

They are attempting to do something unimaginable in today’s society: 

THEY ARE GOING TO TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE HUMAN BEINGS!

This is Privilege With Purpose. 

Co-hosts Daava Mills and Alena Francis openly discuss topics that are normally only whispered about behind closed doors as they try to illuminate context and break down power struggles.  

This season on Privilege With Purpose, our conversations will be on these topics:

• Cancel Culture
• First World Problems: Triple Ds
• Sex Zombies
• The Cult of Self Help
• Racism
• Power Struggles

• Cancel Culture
• Bra Sizes
• Dead Bedrooms
• The Cult of Self Help
• Racism
• Power Struggles