On Privilege With Purpose, we openly talk about topics that can be uncomfortable, even taboo, and invite you into vulnerable spaces, even when that means putting our own stories out there.  

This episode in particular is personal because Daava was in a sexless marriage, and Alena suffered through sexual incompatibility with her ex-husband. This is a subject that is mostly covered in anonymity and we felt it was important to bring it out into the open and put a face to it.  

So what is a Sex Zombie?

It comes from the clinical term of dead bedroom, which is defined as 2 people in a relationship that have sex 10 or less times per year. In many circumstances, issues arise from the higher libido person in the relationship becoming all consumed looking for opportunities to have sex with the lower libido person, causing both physical and mental pain, and, often times, damaging the relationship beyond repair. 

In this episode we discuss the signs you may be a Sex Zombie, how it affects your relationship, and some things you can do about it.  

If you or someone you know is in a sexual, physical or emotionally abusive relationship, please seek appropriate help.

Check out the numerous resources listed below if you need help in your relationship. 

Episode Highlights: 

0:49 Intro

1:39 Definition of Sex Zombie

2:38 Signs of sexless marriage/relationship from Melinda Fox

3:10 Daava calls bullshit

5:20 Signs of sexless marriage/relationship from Huff Post

7:35 Daava's experience in sexless marriage

9:10 Alena's experience with sexual incompatibility 

9:58 Get help

11:33 Spontaneous Desire vs. Responsive Desire

15:44 Asexuality

16:57 Are you really communicating and getting at the root cause?

20:50 Three choices in a dead bedroom

23:15 Infidelity

24:54 What to do if you're Sex Zombie

29:24 Wrap up

30:27 Bonus footage preview

31:21 On the next Privilege With Purpose 

Episode Links:

Privilege With Purpose

Contact Us: conversations@privilegewithpurpose.com

7 signs of sexless marriage

10 signs of sexless marriage

AASECT

Ester Perel

Michele Weiner-Davis Ted Talk

When to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage by Jessa Zimmerman

Talkspace

Regain

The Relationship Place