Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, we risk the wrath of the Broccoli Mafia by straying from Eon Productions. Find out if Kevin McClory’s offer was one we should have refused in “Never Say Never Again”.
* The pre-titles and the titles are efficiently merged. Sean’s face fills the screen before his cinematically-shot training mission goes awry. resulting in an absolutely awful M sending 007 to detox.
* The SPECTRE meeting shows they are no longer the Industry Leader. It seems their sole focus now is to repeatedly spell out the acronym - which seems to excite McClory far more than it should. SPECTRE sends #12 to assassinate Captain Jack in the most contrived way possible.
* In a clear cry for help, Bond fills his rehab suitcase with contraband. Once at detox, Bond undergoes more colonics than one would think necessary. Then he is attacked by a henchman who is also a Count. Luckily Bond is able to give the noble thug a piss of his mind.
* On Largo’s boat, the office doubles as a peep-show booth. He watches Domino dance for a bit, then zips up and heads out to give her a “Tears of Allah” pendant before threatening to slit her throat. Nice guy.
* Before heading to the Bahamas, Bond visits Q’s lab. Unfortunately he only finds Algie - some degenerate cockney who tries to live vicariously through 007 anecdotes. In the Bahamas, Bond is greeted by his new offsider: Mr. Bean.
* Bond and #12 go deep, and then head underwater. They swim with the sharks, but Bond is able to find safety in an unflattering pair of overalls. Luckily, when Bond’s hotel room explodes, he is still wearing protection.
* Bond chases Largo to France, where he meets up with the best Felix yet. Bond sneaks into a spa to assault The Sister of the Guy Who Did the Thing. Domino tells 007 that Largo will be at the casino that night, helping out some local orphan kids.
* At the casino, Bond is coerced into competing against Largo at his own game. Domination is annoying to watch, and looks awful to play. But it is a whole lot easier to watch than Bond telling Domino about her brother’s death during a ballroom dance.
* Bond jumps on his motorcycle and chases #12 around town. She eventually traps him, and becomes a plot device enabling Bond to use his pen gun. Thankfully, this contrivance allows Bond to kill her before he and Felix strip down to their underwear.
* Bond pops up on Largo’s boat a little early for their lunch date. Largo captures Bond, but lets his prisoner wander free on the boat. This lax approach has many negative consequences for Largo. He responds by locking Bond in a tower, and giving Domino a spit-bridge kiss before putting her on the auction block.
* Bond escapes, rescues Domino, and kills a horse. Back on the boat, M uses the intercom to sexily serenade Bond and Domino. Bond realises Domino’s pendant is a clue - so it is time to bust out the jetpacks!
* A too-long gunfight scene leads to an underwater sequence in a saltwater drinking well. Before all that swimming killed Connery’s hairpiece, Domino (she is an agent now?) shows up to kill Largo.
* While the epilogue usually shows the viewer that Bond is never completely safe, this time the final scene puts the viewer in danger.
And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to have Kevin McClory locked in a room for an interrogation by Col!
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