In the final episode of our Avoiding Divorce series, Ellen explores what happens when couples no longer want the same things in life. She breaks down the three main reasons this misalignment occurs, the emotional dynamics that make it worse, and the three principles to help get your relationship back on track. This is about rediscovering or even defining, for the first time, a shared vision for your future—one that keeps you and your partner aligned, connected, and moving forward together.

Ellen explains how many divorces are driven by couples who say, "We just didn’t want the same things anymore."

3 Reasons for misalignment:

• Goals and priorities diverge over time.
• There was never a shared vision to begin with.
• One partner drastically changes the trajectory of the relationship.

• Loss of respect undermines trust and collaboration.
• Loss of confidence in the plan can lead to pretending and disengagement.
• Emotional withdrawal (discussed in Episode 26, Dead Quiet: Is Stonewalling Killing Your Relationship?) creates distance that grows over time.

Principle 1: Switch off Autopilot and Re-Engage

• Let go of magical thinking—your relationship won’t fix itself.
• Reflect on this question: What will my relationship look like in 10 years if nothing changes?
• Take control of your future and create the relationship you want.

Principle 2: Create a Vision You Can Believe In

• If you're uncertain about your relationship's future, progress will be hard.
• Paint a picture of a realistic future you and your partner would want to stay in.
• This vision needs to reflect both your dreams and your partner's.

Principle 3: Co-Create a Shared Vision

• Once you have clarity, collaborate with your partner to merge your visions.
• Sit on the same side of the table, working as a team to tackle alignment.
• You don’t need to agree on everything—find common ground and create a future you both feel excited about.

• You can reconnect with your partner if you’ve lost your shared vision.
• Start by taking action on your own—get clear on your own vision before involving your partner.
• Build a shared vision that balances both partners' dreams and goals, so you can work toward a future you both want to stay in.

• Book a Relationship Reset Call at relationshipresetcall.com.
• Follow or subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes.
• Leave a review to help others find the show.
• Share this episode with someone who might need it.

Ellen reminds listeners that divorce season can become recommitment season—an opportunity to realign and rebuild a stronger, more connected relationship. Relationships aren’t bulletproof, but by cultivating passion, presence, and purpose, you can weather life’s challenges together.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset...

In this episode of Make More Love, Ellen Dorian explores the impact of betrayal on relationships and how it undermines trust, presence, and purpose—the key drivers of a passionate partnership. Ellen introduces the S*H*I*T Model, a practical framework designed to help listeners process betrayal, rebuild trust, and move forward, whether that means repairing the relationship or deciding to let it go.

Part 1: Betrayals vs. Disappointments

• The difference between disappointments and betrayals: Disappointments don’t usually erode trust, but a pattern of consistent letdowns can lead to betrayal.
• Betrayals involve forethought and perception, making them uniquely damaging to trust and connection.

Part 2: The S*H*I*T Model

• Phase 1: Crap or Get Off the Pot – Decide if you’re ready to rebuild trust or if it’s time to let go.
• Phase 2: Climb Off the Crap Pile – Let go of resentment and unrealistic expectations that keep you stuck.
• Phase 3: Compost That Crap – Turn lessons from betrayal into personal and relational growth through actionable steps.

Part 3: Practical Advice

• Learn how to let go of the “resentment story” and societal fairy tales about relationships.
• Focus on personal growth, rebuilding trust incrementally, and creating a shared relationship model.
• When necessary, seek guidance from a coach or counselor to work through unresolved issues.

Key Takeaways:

1. Not all letdowns are betrayals. Disappointments hurt but don’t usually erode trust, while betrayals strike at the foundation of the relationship.
2. The S*H*I*T Model helps you decide if you’re ready to rebuild trust. It walks you through a process to determine whether you’re prepared to do the work.
3. Decisiveness and letting go come first. Commit to staying or leaving, and release resentment before addressing the betrayal itself.

Ellen created a free downloadable worksheet to guide you through the S*H*I*T Model. Use it to figure out where you stand and the steps you can take to move forward. If you need personalized support, book a free Relationship Reset Call with Ellen at relationshipresetcall.com.

Next week, Ellen will wrap up the Avoiding Divorce series with a discussion on regaining alignment in your relationship and how to create a shared vision for the future.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

S*H*I*T Model Worksheet: https://drive.google.com/file/d/12u7PnW5OSu-ac28ckuoDCoryDW-Zl-vv/view?usp=sharing

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.



Make More Love Show Website:

Summary:

Welcome to part two of our series on Divorce Season and how to avoid it. January is often called "divorce season," and we’re dedicating this month to helping you avoid becoming a statistic. In this episode, we tackle a crucial aspect of maintaining a thriving relationship: passion. We’ll explore the "Other Four Horsemen" that quietly erode intimacy and connection in relationships and, most importantly, how to overcome them. These hidden dynamics—Neediness, Childlike Behavior, Apathy, and Transactionalism—may be undermining your relationship more than you realize. Learn to identify these behaviors and take actionable steps to build a deeper, more meaningful connection with your partner.

Part 1: Understanding the Other Four Horsemen

• Overview of "The Other Four Horsemen": Neediness, Childlike Behavior, Apathy, and Transactionalism.
• Why these unconscious behaviors erode intimacy and create distance in relationships.

Part 2: Breaking Down Each Horseman

1. Neediness: Seeking constant validation and reassurance, which can exhaust your partner and kill attraction.

• Examples: Constant reassurance, clinginess, and overreacting to mistakes.
• Solution: Notice when you’re doing it, pause, and focus on meeting your own needs.

1. Childlike Behavior: Failing to live up to the expectations of adult partnership.

• Examples: Leaving messes, weaponized helplessness, and acting immaturely.
• Solution: Read the room, take responsibility for key tasks, and emulate adult role models.

1. Apathy: Neglecting to put effort into the relationship.

• Examples: Not being present, retiring romance, and losing empathy.
• Solution: Reconnect with gratitude, act with intention, and shift your perspective.

1. Transactionalism: Treating the relationship as a series of quid pro quo exchanges.

• Examples: Conditional love, keeping score, and using gifts as leverage.
• Solution: Shift your focus from what you’re getting to what you’re giving, and communicate intentions openly.

Part 3: Tools for Transformation

• Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.
• Small, intentional actions can have a big impact on reigniting passion and connection.
• Recommendations for additional insights:

Episode 7: Master Date Nights to Refuel Your Relationship.

Episode 23: Build A Bonfire: Steps to Reignite Your Relationship.

Episode 24: A Modern Hero’s Guide to Making More Love.

Episode 25: How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved and Get More Love in Return.

• The "Other Four Horsemen" are subtle but powerful barriers to intimacy.
• Identifying and addressing these behaviors can transform your relationship.
• Reigniting passion doesn’t require grand gestures—small, consistent actions matter most.

If you’re ready to dive deeper, book a free Relationship Reset Call at

In this episode of The Make More Love Show, Ellen explores why January is often called "Divorce Season" and reframes it as the perfect time for a Relationship Wake-Up Call. She introduces the concept of the "Recommitment Season" and explores the reasons why this time of year is critical for relationships. Ellen discusses the warning signs of relationship trouble, the costs of divorce, and how gaining clarity can empower you to take control of your future.

Ellen outlines the four key reasons January is known for a spike in divorces: the holiday letdown, business stress, financial reviews, and resolutions for fresh starts. These factors combine to make January a turning point for many couples.

Using the analogy of wine, vodka, or fish, Ellen helps listeners evaluate their relationship's current state. Is it improving, stagnant, or deteriorating? She explains how each state ties to the risks of divorce and what action steps might be appropriate.

Ellen emphasizes the devastating impact divorce can have emotionally, socially, and financially, particularly for business owners. She explains how the financial toll often starts years before divorce papers are filed, with overspending, poor financial decisions, and the stress of a deteriorating relationship.

1. January is a pivotal month—use it to reflect on your relationship.
2. Assess whether your relationship is like wine, vodka, or fish to understand where you stand.
3. Gaining clarity about your options can help you make better decisions and take control of your future.

If you’re considering divorce or feeling stuck in your relationship, take advantage of Ellen’s free Relationship Reset Call. This 15–20 minute session gives you a chance to brainstorm options and gain a fresh perspective. Schedule your call at relationshipresetcall.com.

"January doesn’t have to be Divorce Season—it can be your Recommitment Season. Whether you’re ready to rebuild your relationship or simply gain clarity about your options, I’m here to help you take the next step."

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.



Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.show

Parent Company: The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.com

Join Our Passionate Partners Insider Community:

In this special holiday episode, Ellen Dorian reflects on the Spirit of Generosity, a concept she learned from her father and continues to embody in her coaching. Through heartfelt storytelling, she introduces the five aspects of generosity—emotional, relational, philosophical, action-oriented, and legacy-focused—and shares actionable ways to bring these into your relationships. This episode is a guide to creating deeper connections, fostering trust, and leaving a meaningful legacy for your loved ones.

Part 1: A Holiday Story About Generosity

• Ellen shares a moving story about her father’s approach to Christmas and the lessons he imparted through the concept of Santa Claus as the embodiment of generosity.
• She recounts her dad’s final gift to her, The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry, and how it symbolizes selflessness, love, and sacrifice in relationships.

Part 2: The Five Aspects of Generosity

• Emotional Generosity: Giving time, attention, and love freely without expecting anything in return. Includes practical tips like using a “root cause analysis” approach to stay present during emotional conversations.
• Relational Generosity: Paying attention to your partner’s needs and stepping in to share the mental load. Features the “By The Clock” exercise to anticipate and address tasks proactively.
• Philosophical Generosity: Cultivating a mindset of abundance by focusing on gratitude and appreciation rather than scarcity or criticism.
• Action-Oriented Generosity: Doing what you say you’ll do, being reliable, and supporting your partner when it matters most, even when it’s inconvenient.
• Legacy of Generosity: Building a lasting impact through selflessness in relationships, modeled after her father’s example.

Part 3: Holiday Reflections

• Ellen encourages listeners to embrace the Spirit of Generosity during the holiday season and to pass it forward in their own lives.
• She reminds listeners that the greatest gift they can give their children is the example of a passionate and connected partnership.

1. Generosity is More Than Money. True generosity lies in how you give your time, attention, and care to those you love. It’s about showing up fully and selflessly in ways that matter most.
2. Emotional and Relational Generosity Build Connection.Trust and connection grow when you’re emotionally present and proactive in supporting your partner’s needs—whether by sharing the mental load or simply listening with focus and care.
3. Your Legacy Begins in Your Relationships.The most impactful legacy you leave isn’t material; it’s the example you set in your relationships. Cultivating a passionate and connected partnership shapes how your children and loved ones approach their own connections.

Call to Action:

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Schedule a free 15-minute Relationship Reset Call with Ellen to identify key challenges and create a plan to move forward.

Visit relationshipresetcall.com to book your spot.

Ellen closes with a heartfelt wish for joy, peace, and love during the holiday season. She invites listeners to embrace the Spirit of Generosity and leave a legacy their loved ones will treasure.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found...

[SUMMARY]

Gift-giving during the holidays or special occasions can be a minefield, especially when it comes to significant others. This week, Ellen dives into a common mistake many partners make: giving a gift card without much thought—and how it can unintentionally hurt your relationship. She shares a real-life story from a client and offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to turn even a gift card into a meaningful experience that shows your partner how much you care.

Part 1: Why Gift-Giving Feels So Hard

Ellen breaks down the common frustrations and challenges of holiday gift-giving:

• Why partners with “everything” are difficult to shop for.
• How big-ticket items and personal preferences make gift-giving feel impossible.
• Why a gift card might seem practical but can come across as thoughtless.

She also unpacks what the phrase “It’s the thought that counts” really means—and how partners interpret effort differently.

Part 2: A Client’s Gift-Giving Dilemma

Ellen shares the story of her client, JT, who struggled to find a gift for his wife after past failures—including a gift card disaster that caused resentment. She explores why this scenario is so common and how frustration can lead to gift-giving procrastination or avoidance altogether.

Part 3: The Solution—Make It an Experience

Ellen lays out a step-by-step plan for turning a gift card or shopping budget into a meaningful and personal experience:

1. Create a beautifully wrapped certificate for a shopping day together.
2. Plan ahead by contacting stores and arranging a curated selection within budget.
3. Elevate the experience with lunch, dinner, or thoughtful details that show care and effort.She also provides ideas for scaling the experience to different preferences, budgets, and logistics.

1. A great gift isn’t about the price—it’s about the thought and effort behind it.
2. Focusing on an experience over a “thing” creates connection and shows your partner you value them.
3. Planning even simple details, like arranging a private shopping experience, can make all the difference.

If you’ve ever struggled with gift-giving, this episode is your chance to rethink your approach and create a meaningful moment with your partner. For more personalized advice, schedule a free Relationship Reset Call with Ellen or join the conversation in the P3 Insider’s Community. Links are below!

Ellen reminds listeners that putting thought into a gift is about more than avoiding conflict—it’s about deepening your connection and showing your partner they matter.

"Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love in Your Life and with Your Wife.'" - Ellen Dorian

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

PS:

custom jewelry design info:

https://www.instagram.com/dorianjewelers/

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for the guidance of a qualified mental health or medical professional.



Make More Love Show Website:

[In this off-the-cuff episode, Ellen Dorian shares candid thoughts on handling frustrations and setbacks when things don’t go as planned. Using her own tech issues as an example, Ellen explores how to manage stress and prevent it from negatively impacting your relationships. She dives into three common problems and offers five actionable principles for maintaining emotional control and resilience during challenging times.

• How work frustrations can spill over into your relationship, even when your partner isn’t involved.
• The importance of recognizing how stress affects your behavior and the energy you bring home.

• Losing perspective under stress and why small glitches can feel enormous.
• Neglecting self-care and how it creates a vicious cycle, making stress harder to handle.

1. Pause Before Reacting – Take a deep breath and respond intentionally instead of emotionally.
2. Name It to Tame It – Identify and articulate what you’re feeling to regain control.
3. Communicate Constructively – Share your frustrations with your partner in a way that fosters understanding, not conflict.
4. Prioritize Self-Care – Small, intentional actions can build resilience and restore your emotional balance.
5. Engage the Gratitude Factor – Reflect on what’s going well to reframe your mindset and counter negativity.

• Frustrations are inevitable, but they don’t have to damage your relationship.
• Emotional control during challenging times is a cornerstone of living an honorable life.
• Practicing self-care and gratitude can help you manage stress and show up as your best self.

Ellen shares her personal commitment to these principles and encourages listeners to take a proactive approach to maintaining balance in their lives. Whether it’s a deep breath, a moment of gratitude, or reaching out for support, small steps can make a big difference in preserving both your peace of mind and the strength of your relationships.

Ellen reflects on the importance of handling frustrations with intention, especially when life doesn’t go as planned. She emphasizes that these moments, though temporary, can leave lasting impacts if we let them spill over into our relationships. By practicing emotional control, prioritizing self-care, and staying mindful of how stress affects those around us, we can navigate challenges more gracefully.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for the guidance of a qualified mental health or medical professional.



Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.show

Parent Company: The Passionate Partners Project:

In this episode, Ellen sits down with the dynamic Kylie Ryan, a performance coach specializing in helping entrepreneurs unlock their potential by tackling emotional and mental roadblocks. Together, they dive into a range of provocative topics, from emotional intelligence and societal conditioning to rage and relationships. This conversation is packed with insights on how to better understand and express emotions, fostering stronger connections in both personal and professional spheres.

Part 1: Understanding Emotional Conditioning

Ellen and Kylie discuss how upbringing, societal norms, and biological differences shape the way men and women process emotions. They delve into why many men struggle with articulating emotions and how partners can work together to create a safe space for emotional expression.

Part 2: Rage, Relationships, and Society

The conversation shifts to the increasing rage and anger seen in society, particularly in men, stemming from isolation, lack of appreciation, and unmet emotional needs. Kylie explores the impact of suppressed emotions and the role of societal structures in perpetuating dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

Part 3: The Path to Emotional Mastery

Kylie outlines practical strategies for managing and expressing emotions constructively. Ellen and Kylie share personal anecdotes to illustrate how addressing emotional triggers and embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper intimacy and fulfillment.

1. Managing and expressing emotions is a sign of strength and essential for building meaningful connections.
2. Societal norms and upbringing shape emotional habits, but you can break free from these patterns through awareness and intention.
3. Authentic connection and intimacy arise when you let go of pretenses and embrace vulnerability with your partner.

Ready to take control of your emotions and enhance your relationships? Join Ellen’s private Facebook community, visit her website for more resources, or schedule a free Relationship Reset Call today at relationshipresetcall.com.

Ellen encourages listeners to reflect on how managing emotions can positively impact their lives and relationships. She emphasizes that taking small steps toward emotional mastery can lead to extraordinary changes in connection and intimacy.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for the guidance of a qualified mental health or medical professional.



Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.show

Parent Company: The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.com

Join Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: