In this episode, I welcome neurodiversity consultant Jenine Lillian to discuss their journey to an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, overcoming societal expectations, and building an inclusive world. Janine shares their unique perspective, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, connection, and actionable steps to live authentically.

- **[00:00] - Intro and Welcome**

Amanda introduces Jenine Lillian, highlighting their work as a neurodiversity consultant and their warm personality.

- **[02:00] - Jenine’s Journey to Diagnosis**

Jenine shares their story of receiving a formal autism diagnosis at 52 and the barriers they faced along the way.

- **[10:30] - Navigating Neurodivergence**

Jenine discusses the challenges of masking, societal expectations, and the importance of authentic connections.

- **[18:45] - Self-Care and Rest**

The power of walking without a phone, limiting sensory input, and finding joy in quiet moments.

- **[26:15] - Breaking Down Stereotypes**

Jenine shares why labels like “too sensitive” or “overly emotional” can be harmful and the need to treat people as individuals.

- **[34:50] - Building Community**

Amanda and Jenine reflect on the value of saying “good morning” and creating layers of connection in life.

- **[42:00] - Addressing Inner Criticism**

How self-worth, dismantling past trauma, and embracing optimism can lead to empowerment.

- **[50:30] - What Jenine Offers**

Jenine talks about their business, including workshops for employers, executive dysfunction support, and their role as a resource for adults navigating neurodivergence.

- **[57:15] - The Importance of Play and Experimentation**

Jenine encourages listeners to try new things and “try on” new ideas to discover what brings them joy.

- **[01:03:00] - Final Thoughts and Homework**

Jenine leaves listeners with practical homework: take 20 minutes today to do something restorative for yourself.

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**Resources and Links**

**Connect with Jenine Lillian**:

Visit their website at jeninelillian.com

**Amanda’s Coaching Services**:

Book a free discovery call at amandahess.ca

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**Key Quotes**

- *"There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s about finding the support you need to thrive."* – Janine Lillian

- *"When you give without expecting something in return, you find the most authentic connections."* – Amanda

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If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with someone who might benefit from Janine’s insights. Let’s build a world that’s more inclusive for everyone!

Jenine Lillian Bio

Jenine Lillian (Jenine, they/them) is a Neurodiversity Consultant, educator, artist, writer,

and librarian. For more than 20 years, Jenine has taught and presented across the

public library sector in both the United States and Canada. Jenine has received national

recognition for their advocacy and library work with teens. After receiving a very

late-in-life diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Jenine started their

neurodiversity consultancy to raise awareness, reduce stigma and increase inclusion for

neurodiversity and other invisible disabilities. Jenine lives in the Kootenays, British

Columbia, where they can be found making art, talking with folks on sidewalks,

birdwatching, building community through service and networking, and practicing

self-care. You can reach Jenine at info@jeninelillian.com and explore their website at

www.jeninelillian.com.

Contact Jenine Lillian

info@jeninelillian.com email

www.jeninelillian.com website

In this episode, I delve deep into my personal journey and share insights on embracing and understanding emotions. As someone who has walked through emotional battles and navigated the ups and downs of diagnosis, I know how transformative it is to learn emotional resilience. We explore the essential nature of emotions, the importance of releasing judgment, and why moving beyond labels can unlock a more fulfilling life. This episode is about reducing suffering, increasing self-love, and finding a way to live joyfully, even with life’s challenges.

- **[0:00] Introduction and Personal Journey**

I reflect on the journey of this podcast and my personal growth in business. This podcast is more than just content; it's a heartfelt endeavor to help others.

- **[3:00] The Importance of Emotions**

Emotions are the core of a fulfilling life. We talk about how managing emotions is crucial for living intentionally and powerfully.

- **[5:45] Personal Experiences with Emotional Battles**

I share my past struggles with intense emotions and how they impacted my life, especially during early motherhood. Emotions can be overwhelming, but there is a way to navigate them.

- **[11:20] Client Stories and Emotional Challenges**

My clients’ experiences vary widely—from inner battles to life-altering events. Regardless of their circumstances, it all comes back to how they handle emotions.

- **[16:30] Understanding and Allowing Emotions**

We're not taught how to feel or understand emotions deeply. I discuss how learning about feelings, their bodily sensations, and their impact on us is transformative.

- **[21:10] Moving Beyond Diagnosis**

A diagnosis doesn’t have to define you. I share my experience with clinical diagnoses and why I choose to see them as information rather than identity. Diagnosis can provide insight, but it’s not a life sentence.

- **[26:50] Reducing Suffering and Enhancing Life**

The goal in coaching is to reduce suffering and increase life satisfaction. We start by managing pain, then look for ways to enrich and enliven life.

- **[30:45] Compulsion vs. Desire**

Compulsion often drives us out of fear, whereas desire is about genuine longing. Shifting from compulsion to desire is key to creating a life you truly want.

- **[33:15] Final Thoughts and Closing Invitation**

Imagine what life could be like if you let go of the belief that something’s inherently wrong with you. What if you could experience relief, joy, and love without fixing "everything"?

**Connect with Me:**

If you’re ready to work through emotional challenges, I invite you to book a free call with me at [amandahess.ca](https://www.amandahess.ca) to start the journey to reducing suffering and creating a life you love.

**Outro:**

Thank you so much for tuning in! New episodes drop weekly. Please consider leaving a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more listeners like you. And if you’re ready to make lasting change, schedule a free consult at amandahess.ca

Are you struggling with loneliness, craving genuine friendships, or feeling stuck in the same old patterns? I'm here to help. Join me as we explore the importance of human connection, the challenges of making friends in adulthood, and practical steps you can take to create meaningful relationships. Whether it's through my coaching insights or personal stories, I'm dedicated to helping you break the cycle of loneliness and build the connections you crave. Tune in every week for new episodes, and don't forget to book a free consult if you need personalized support. Let's make a real change together! – Amanda Hess

00:00 Introduction and Personal Message

01:19 The Reality of Loneliness

02:32 Understanding Coaching

03:31 The Importance of Friendship

06:06 Challenges in Making Friends

13:08 Steps to Build Connections

24:18 The Value of Being a Good Friend

25:48 Creating a Friendship Fabric

29:08 Final Thoughts and Invitation

30:45 Introduction to Friendship Topic

31:12 Understanding Coaching and Its Role

32:47 The Importance of Human Connection

35:04 Challenges of Making Friends as Adults

42:18 Steps to Build Adult Friendships

53:42 The Value of Being a Good Friend

55:13 Creating a Friendship Fabric

58:36 Conclusion and Next Steps

Book a discovery call with Amanda: https://amandahess.ca

Kathryn's Journey: From Therapy to Coaching Transformation

In this heartfelt podcast episode, I, Amanda, welcome my client Kathryn, who shares her incredible journey over the past year through life coaching. Kathryn talks about her background as a clinical psychologist, the distinctions between therapy and coaching, and how small, enjoyable experiences have led to major life changes for her. She opens up about her struggles with a difficult divorce and feeling emotionally shut down, and reflects on the impactful shifts in her mindset and beliefs. You'll hear about the 'Rat Park' concept, layering positive experiences, and the importance of letting go of shame. We also discuss my unique coaching style and how anyone, at any age, can experience personal growth. This episode is packed with insights and inspiration for anyone looking to transform their life.

If you are curious about working with Amanda, you can book a call to talk it over with her here: https://usemotion.com/meet/amanda-hess/call

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

02:15 Kathryn'sJourney to Coaching

03:32 The Impact of Coaching on Divorce Recovery

04:51 Understanding Emotional Barriers

07:38 Small Steps to Big Changes

11:45 The Rat Park Analogy

19:04 Releasing Shame and Embracing Pleasure

29:26 Shifting Perspectives and Expanding Capacity

32:09 Understanding Emotional Resistance

32:23 Growing Capacity for Emotions

32:41 Balancing Negative and Positive Emotions

33:17 Hyper Responsibility and Earning Joy

35:39 Parental Expectations and Happiness

37:23 Contentment and Optimism

40:23 Embracing Risk and Flexibility

48:32 Coaching vs. Therapy

52:41 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

When we start down the road of personal development - we quickly notice that negative self-talk is a problem. We see that our negative thoughts about ourselves create results that we don't want. The thing is, we think that what we need is to shut that voice up. But the problem is that we can't do it. I'm going to teach you what actually works.

Book a free call with Amanda: https://amandahess.ca/bookacall/

Making the decision to change your life can be so much easier than you think. The only reason decisions seem hard is because we think there are RIGHT decisions and there are WRONG decisions. But the truth is, you are only one decision away from changing the trajectory of your life at ANY given time. You don't need more time or more information, you need to learn how to trust yourself. Are you ready to change your life?

Ready for change? Book a call with Amanda and make real progress towards making that decision: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/Discovery

Welcome to the Top Ten Podcast Episodes! Today we start with number 9: How To Love Yourself When You Think You Shouldn't.

Self-Love is hard even when we are trying to love things that other people say we SHOULD love. But what about the things people say we shouldn't? Learning to love everything about myself, including behaviors that could be viewed as unacceptable, has been the catalyst in changing my life. Take a listen to discover how loving the things you don't like about yourself could change your entire life.

Book a free Discovery Call with Amanda here: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/Discovery