Bob Falconer survived sexual abuse from his mother, father and his father's gay partners amongst others while growing up in middle class New York. Today, he is the leading voice on the part of Internal Family Systems therapy that deals with exorcising or unburdening external spirit entities that might have lodged themselves in the client during moments of sexual violation amongst other things.

In this episode, we dive into his history of abuse, his trauma healing journey and how he relates to Spirit in service of healing himself and others.

I had an unburdening with him over a year ago, which is how I crossed paths with him. I have always admired his openness and capacity to talk clearly about his sexual abuse history without getting disheveled or numbed out.

I'd love to hear what this episode evokes in you and any follow up questions you might have for me or Bob.

You can find him at https://robertfalconer.us/

#childhoodsexualtrauma #ifs #exorcisms #childhoodsexualabuse

This past weekend in Asheville was quite a grief portal for me, triggered by my first instance of being on the receiving end of verbal racism since I've moved here. I trudged the now familiar road from shock, numbness to grief release to exhaustion, fatigue to suicidality to vengeance fantasization. In this video, I describe how allowing myself to fantasize about vengeance has helped relieve a lot of the tension that can emerge in moments of deep trauma triggers. I reference a tool in the video called aspecting. Here's an essay describing how I used it to release all charge towards my maternal grandfather for his role in my #childhoodsexualabuse. https://vighneshrege.substack.com/p/aspecting-a-tool-for-healing-trauma?utm_source=youtube I also reference IFS, a healing modality that helps create greater harmony amongst all the varied conflicting parts that we as adult survivors can have. If you'd like to book an IFS session with me, go here – https://cal.com/vighnesh-rege/ifs Please like and share this video if you found it useful and comment below on what kind of content you'd like to see.

Often in the journey of an #adultsurvivor of #childhoodsexualabuse towards Wholeness, they have to face the Rage that lives within their bodies for the gross violation of boundaries that they experienced as a child. Rage is an emotion that exists to represent past violation of boundaries that have not been fully addressed and alchemized.It's a trope in the adult survivor world that often (not always), it's easier to access this Rage against the person who was supposed to be taking care of you instead of the perpertrator. There's a felt sense of deep betrayal. It's almost as if the enraged part is screaming at our caretaker (parents, or otherwise)–"YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB. TO NOT LET ME BE RAPED. AND YOU FAILED MISERABLY AT IT.". Your experience may vary, of course. If there's one thing I've learnt in exploring these dark recesses of human society, it's that there is a broad spectrum of experiences that we go through as humans both in our abuse and in our healing journeys. And yet, this is a trope that I encounter time and again.The movie #Eileen, based on a novel by the same name from Ottessa Moshfegh, explores the tragedy of the caretaker. In this case, the mom of a boy, who let her husband continue raping him.I found this movie, and this scene in particular, to be a very healing piece of art. I hope that's your experience too. Whether it is or not, I hope to hear from you in the comments 🌱

This is an audio taken from the video uploaded on my YouTube channel – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaG8Gep2Yko

Copyright belongs to the movie owners. Scene borrowed under Fair Use for critical commentary.

#eileenmovie #annehathaway

Wolf is a fascinating human that I crossed paths with quite serendipitously through my travels. In this podcast interview recorded at Vondelpark in Amsterdam, NL, we dive into his uncovering of his childhood sexual trauma. Wolf is the first human I've directly spoken with who has experienced infantile sexual abuse. He is also one of the most open, creative and entrepreneurial human beings. I thoroughly enjoyed dropping in on this subject with him and hope you do too.

You can find him on Instagram: @_wolfb_ and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FlowOfConsciousness?app=desktop

Tyson Adams is a trauma-informed IFS men's coach, somatic bodyworker and psychedelic facilitator. After spending 20 years addicted to pornography, he outgrew it seven years ago and has found his passion and purpose in helping other men master their lifeforce energy. He also co-facilitates men's work leadership intensives and works with couples experiencing intimacy challenges. When he's not working you'll catch him on a rock wall or riding a slackline in sunny, San Diego.

You can find more of his work at IG: @tysonadams__

In the previous episode, I talked about the panic I've experienced every time I've come close to or recovered a repressed memory of sexual abuse. In this episode, I share more about my direct experience with soothing my own panic attacks by holding different parts of myself with loving kindness every morning, along with regular self body oil massage rituals.

I don't get panic attacks anymore – unless I find myself watching a movie with a lot of jump scares – wild to think I was so numbed out that I used to love these before. Now the skillset I developed soothing my physical body during panic attacks helps me in my work as a Shibari Dom.

The Panic of Recovery of #repressedmemoriesofchildhoodsexualabuse is rooted in the fallacious notion that what you are seeing is happening to you right now.
Practice reminding yourself that anything you might see has already happened to you. Anything that you might be afraid of needing to do is a choice that you don’t have to make right now.
I’ve found this reminder to self a wonderful way of soothing myself during #panicattacks and aiding the recovery process.