Good Girl Deprogramming

By: Michelle Minnikin
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  • Summary

  • Join author, coach, and organisational psychologist Michelle Minnikin as she unpacks and challenges the 'Good Girl' narrative that limits women in their personal and professional lives. In each episode, explore the stories, strategies, and psychology behind breaking free from social conditioning, reclaiming authenticity, and thriving on your own terms. Subscribe now for empowering conversations and insights.
    Michelle Minnikin
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Personal Success
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Episodes
  • 19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas

    19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas
    Jan 19 2025

    Episode 19 - Guilt, Boundaries, and Asking for What You Need with Michaela Thomas

    Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, coach, speaker, founder of the psychology practice The Thomas Connection and author of The Lasting Connection – develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner.


    Michaela specialises in the intersection between perfectionism and ADHD, with its ties with stress, anxiety, depression, productivity, procrastination, burnout, and overall wellbeing. Michaela helps ambitious female leaders with ADHD burn bright without burning out, finding sustainable success using her Pause Purpose Play framework in group coaching, therapy and speaking.


    What we talk about:

    • 1:28 - Michaela’s Journey with Good Girl Conditioning

    • 2:55 - The Impact of Janteloven

    • 5:13 - Keeping Women Small

    • 9:11 - The Balance Between Modesty and Assertiveness

    • 12:55 - The Tea Experiment

    • 16:54 - The Role of Guilt and Backdraft in Good Girl Deprogramming

    • 20:38 - Receiving Compassion from Others

    • 23:52 - Burning Bright Without Burning Out

    • 30:07 - Final Reflections and a Powerful Question



    Follow Micheala on social media:

    Website - https://thethomasconnection.co.uk/

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection

    LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaela-thomas/

    Follow Michelle on social media:

    Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/

    Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming

    TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin

    Buy Good Girl Deprogramming

    Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)

    Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk

    Take the Good Girl Quiz

    Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/

    If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
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    32 mins
  • 18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali

    18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali
    Jan 12 2025
    Episode 18 - Harnessing Rage for Good with Hira Ali Hira Ali is a leadership development and allyship specialist, executive career coach, and acclaimed writer and speaker. Her award-winning career is dedicated to helping others realise their potential. Her work has been featured in outlets such as The Harvard Business Review, Forbes, The Telegraph, B.B.C., HuffPost, and Entrepreneur. She is a Senior Advisory Team member for Benedictine University Illinois L.E.A.D.S., an IDEA Practitioner at NASA, and an advisor for the Women in Transport Intersectionality Advisory Group. Recognised as one of the top 50 influential Muslims in Europe in 2022, Hira is also highlighted by Diverse In as a global D&I voice to follow on LinkedIn. As the founder of Advancing Your Potential, Hira champions allyship and inclusive talent initiatives. She is the award-winning author of Her Way To The Top: A Guide to Smashing the Glass Ceiling and Her Allies: A Practical Toolkit to Help Men Lead Through Advocacy. What we talk about: 1:44 – Pressures of Good Girl Conditioning: Hira discusses the societal and cultural expectations that shaped her life growing up, including anecdotes about being told not to laugh loudly and the pressure to marry the “right person.” 2:50 – Good Girl Conditioning as a Global Issue: Hira explains how these challenges are universal, spanning borders and cultures, with professional and personal implications. 5:29 – Choosing Battles: They discuss the importance of picking battles for one’s sanity and recognising when to conform versus resist. 6:40 – Dealing with Pushback: Hira shares her strategies for handling backlash, including unashamedly owning her space, finding allies, and building a supportive network. 8:45 – Raising the Next Generation Differently: Hira emphasises the importance of teaching girls and boys to break free from outdated gender norms. 9:38 – Harnessing Rage for Good: Michelle and Hira explore how to transform frustration and anger into collaborative, positive action. 11:27 – The Power of Advocacy: Hira highlights the importance of balancing public advocacy with private efforts and the role of social media in influencing change. 13:17 – Leadership and Intersectionality: Hira talks about the additional pressures of being a Muslim, immigrant, female leader, and how intersectional identities amplify challenges. 16:05 – Navigating High Standards for Women: Discussing the disproportionate expectations women face, particularly in leadership roles. 19:46 – Processing Grief and Finding Strength: Hira shares the importance of grieving injustices but moving forward to create meaningful impact. 20:51 – Advocacy in Many Forms: Advocacy doesn’t always have to be public; small, private actions can be equally impactful. 24:04 – The Role of Male Allies: Hira discusses her book Her Allies and the importance of compassionate, informed male allyship. 27:21 – Global Policy for Workplace Equity: If Hira could implement one global policy, it would be an accountability framework to ensure equity across all levels of organisations. Follow Hira on social media: Website - https://www.advancingyourpotential.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/advancingyou/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hira-ali-careercoach/ Follow Michelle on social media: Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/ Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin Take the Good Girl Quiz Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/ If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
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    32 mins
  • 17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden

    17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden
    Jan 5 2025
    Episode 17 - Noticing the Water We Swim In with Katy Lumsden Katy is a seasoned practitioner in organisational behaviour, organisational development, and human resources, with extensive leadership experience across the public sector in Ireland, as well as in church and trade union environments. Her work is driven by a passion for learning and empowerment through self-inquiry, underpinned by a values-led approach. Holding an MBS in Organisational Development, Organisational Behaviour, and Leadership, Katy has designed and delivered programmes for children and young people, focusing on leadership, followership, and culture. A regular speaker, podcast guest, and co-author of Soul Excellence Publishing’s best-selling leadership book, The X-Factor: Spiritual Secrets Behind Successful Executives and Entrepreneurs, Katy frequently shares her insights on leadership, systems, and culture through social media. Before transitioning into organisational development, Katy trained and practised in Visual Communications. In 2004, she was awarded Craft Membership of the Society of Heraldic Arts, joining an exclusive group of fewer than 50 artists worldwide to have earned this distinction. Katy’s career path has been far from linear, but it has always been guided by her personal values of excellence, professionalism, fairness, courage, and growth. She continually seeks opportunities to align her work with these principles, carving out a distinctive and impactful professional journey. But first and foremost, Katy is a mum to an inspiring and astonishing young woman, who is her breath after breath. Her daughter’s hope, joie de vivre, and bold assumptions cast a searchlight across generations of systemic injustice - forces vested in keeping her small, quiet, and unconfronting simply because she is female. What we talk about: 1:28 – How Michelle and Katy Connected - Katy shares how a LinkedIn post about Good Girl Deprogramming led to her starting a reading group for the book. 5:01 – The Impact of Good Girl Deprogramming - Katy discusses her eye-opening experience with the book, particularly Biderman’s Chart of Coercion and its application to systemic patriarchy. 7:33 – The Noticing Effect - How the book changed Katy’s perspective on societal norms, influencing her own behaviour and those around her. 8:46 – Changing the World - They discuss how small, collective changes can lead to systemic shifts. 9:18 – Navigating Difficult News and Conversations - Katy shares a personal story of processing difficult news stories and finding solace in her Good Girl Gang. 13:26 – Decoupling Patriarchy from Men - Exploring the idea that patriarchy is a system harming everyone and the importance of engaging men in allyship. 15:16 – The Workplace and Systemic Change - Practical examples of workplace barriers for women, from ill-fitting chairs to inaccessible spaces, and how these reflect deeper systemic issues. 20:28 – The Problem with “Quick Fix” Solutions - Critiquing the oversimplified solutions often marketed to women and the need for systemic change instead of individual fixes. 26:05 – Internalised Misogyny and Self-Policing - Katy reflects on how women are conditioned to self-police and judge one another under systemic patriarchy. 28:44 – Katy’s Provocation for Listeners 32:47 – Building a Good Girl Gang - Katy shares her advice for forming supportive groups to navigate and discuss Good Girl Deprogramming. Follow Katy on social media: Website - https://www.knownoboundsleadership.com/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/katy-lumsden-noisy-introvert/ Follow Michelle on social media: Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/ Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
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    38 mins

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