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Meet Steve, a man who married a woman with borderline personality disorder and endured 35 years of abuse. He shares his story to help raise awareness on how men can also be abused. He also shares how he recovered from debilitating trauma thanks to a new treatment called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). Find out what TMS is and how it works!
Also check out Steve's TikTok where he has documented his progress from the first treatment to his thirtieth. https://www.tiktok.com/@wainwrightsteve65

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Because nothing gives us a deeper understanding of...well, everything than when people share their lived experiences I invited my advocate friend, Lady Storm to share her experience of being in a coercive control relationship. Listen as she walks us through each stage that she endured and finally, how she escaped. From victim to survivor to healer. Check out her site.
https://calendly.com/ladystormhealing/i-got-you-90-min-empowering-strategy-session?month=2025-01&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR2UU8cgkgw_2vGZa-uxwbqZIOOixz-7-QrxtxGDvKIlqTDrlSmGT8uxliQ_aem_Wkez33A8YWUOTt-bHjidRA

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1) Final installment in this ongoing series that begins with reading an excerpt from my article on coercive control. Link to the full article: https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/coercive-control-is-the-reason-they-cant-just-leave/

2) An excerpt from my interview with a survivor, Taylor as an example of stage 4. Link to full article: https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/escaping-coercive-control-an-interview-with-a-survivor/

3) Addressing the breakdown in communication between trauma informed psychology and the medical physicians and suggested means of bridging that gap to help victims wake up sooner and escape faster.

4) My father was a victim of coercive control. I share the story of what I grew up witnessing as my father slipped into stage 3 and then stage 4 as a means of hopefully help others.

5) Addressing the adult children of the abuser and enabler parents. Why we tend of have complicated feelings towards the enabler parent and why it's okay.

6) The three must-have tools all victims of coercive control should have after leaving the abuser to assure they won't go back.

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1) Reading the next excerpt from my article. https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/coercive-control-is-the-reason-they-cant-just-leave/

2) Following up with a three-paragraph reading on an interview I published with a survivor of coercive control as a perfect example of stage 3. https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/escaping-coercive-control-an-interview-with-a-survivor/

3) The five takeaways from coercive control survivor, Taylor's lived experience and what we can learn.

4) Two vocabulary words: confirmation experiences and declarative memories. How they create confirmation bias and how the vivid memories are there to help us survive impossible situations so that we know what we need to do.

5) Activated Attachment System is a fancy word for separation anxiety...on steroids. The term also comes from attachment theory and it's linked with high dopamine. How it's the culprit for why the victim has massive withdrawals from their abuser after they leave them.

6) Induced conversation, the abuser's superpower. Why any conversation with the abuser once the victim has escaped puts them at a high risk of going back to the abuser.

7) No contact and making a list. The two things most strongly recommended for any victim of coercive control as soon as they escape.

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1) Reading the next excerpt from my article on coercive control, followed by a deep dive on what was read. https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/coercive-control-is-the-reason-they-cant-just-leave/

2) Call for help, fight or flight, freeze. Introducing the brain's hierarchy in threatening situations and where in the brain the vagus nerve and the autonomic nervous system operate.

3) The body chemicals 101: How drawing or visualizing the letter M will help you understand the close connection between dopamine, cortisol, norepinephrine, endorphins, adrenaline, and then serotonin. And what's bad for dopamine will also be bad for cortisol and its counterbalance, serotonin.

4) The dopamine - norepinephrine - cortisol - serotonin - oxytocin domino effect. How these hormones work when living in abuse and how it's much to the victim's detriment.

5) Oxytocin, the so-called love hormone. Proving how it's really about social memories and that in domestic abuse it leads to both memory loss.

6) The sympathetic nerve when living in coercive control and how it "cripples" this nerve and creates brain fog.

https://linktr.ee/defeating_childhood_trauma

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How I survived coercive control stages 1 and 2 and how I broke free. What I learned and how I grew after breaking the trauma bond. This is a special bonus content as we are moving through this series on coercive control. It is my belief that we glean a far deeper understanding from other people's lived experiences. So, I am sharing mine today. Find out why December 15, 2001 is and always will be the happiest day of my life!

https://linktr.ee/defeating_childhood_trauma

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1) Intermittent reinforcement and gaslighting. Reading a short excerpt from my article on coercive control and then taking a deep dive on what was written. How intermittent reinforcement works and how it keeps you hooked.

2) The trauma bond is a high octane and intense addiction to the abuser that we mistake for "the love we never knew it was possible to feel". What the trauma bond has in common with the substance abuser's addiction.

3) Isolation and enmeshment. How the abuser successfully keeps the victim further ensnared in a coercive control relationship by cutting off the victim's support system and then controlling and monopolizing their time.

4) Keeping the peace for the one who creates chaos. How the trauma bond is the surrendering of one's soul, life force, essence, and purpose.

5) Link to my full article on coercive control: https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/coercive-control-is-the-reason-they-cant-just-leave/

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1) Prequels and Epilogues. If you had an enabler parent, they likely fell victim to a coercive control relationship and never escaped. That was our prequel and how that makes us "at risk" of our prequel becoming our epilogue.

2) Reading to you a section of my article, "Coercive Control is the Reason They Can't Just Leave". A link to the full article is here: https://defeatingchildhoodtrauma.com/coercive-control-is-the-reason-they-cant-just-leave/

3) The red flags for love bombing and how abusers induce anxious attachment style and codependency in their partner to keep them hooked.

4) It isn't love. It's a trauma bond. The trauma bond hits the same body chemicals that are hit in a substance addiction and how the love bomber is like a drug dealer who is simply pushing a different substance.

5) Our toxic parents had no reason to love bomb us as children because we couldn't escape. How that makes us extra vulnerable to love bombing.

https://linktr.ee/defeating_childhood_trauma