Episodes

  • Blue Christmas
    Dec 18 2024
    Summary This episode of "Coping" centers on the idea of 'Blue Christmas,' exploring how the holiday season can be both joyful and sorrowful for many people. Kathy and Kevin discuss how grief and joy can coexist during the holidays, particularly for those experiencing loss or major life changes. Kevin shares a personal experience from 2020 working as a bedside chaplain during Covid, while Kathy discusses her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas due to its focus on gratitude. The conversation includes recommendations for grief support resources, specifically mentioning David Kessler's holiday grief support and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. The episode concludes with a suggested ritual of hanging a blue ornament and shares Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem. Highlights Introduction to Blue Christmas Concept The hosts introduce the concept of 'Blue Christmas,' acknowledging that while the holiday season is typically portrayed as joyful, it can be a time of deep sorrow for many. Speaker0 emphasizes that it's acceptable to feel both joy and sadness during the holidays, whether due to recent loss or general struggles. Personal Experiences with Blue Christmas Kevin shares his significant Blue Christmas experience from 2020 while working as a hospital chaplain during Covid, feeling disconnected from the holiday spirit. Kathy reflects on her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas, noting how commercialization has affected the holiday's meaning. Support Resources and Coping Strategies The hosts discuss two major grief support resources: David Kessler's holiday grief support sessions and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. Kathy shares a success story about someone who found community through Grief Share, even leading to social activities like cruises with fellow group members. Closing Ritual and Poetic Reflection The episode concludes with Kevin suggesting a ritual of hanging a blue ornament on the Christmas tree to acknowledge sadness during the holidays. The hosts share Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem, which explores themes of love, grief, and resilience. Kevin Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of "Coping". Today we're going to center around a powerful theme that speaks to many during this time of year. Kathy Yes, today we're going to be talking about the idea of a blue Christmas, and this acknowledges that while the holiday season is often portrayed as joyful and celebratory, for many it's a time of deep sorrow, reflection, and longing. Kevin All right, let's get started. Kevin So this concept of a blue Christmas reminds us that it's okay not to feel cheerful during the holidays, whether you've experienced a recent loss or a major life change this last year, or you just simply find yourself struggling. The idea of blue Christmas creates space for all of those feelings to exist without judgment. And I would even say to coexist that you can feel both joy and sadness in this time of year. What do you think about that, Kathy? Kathy Yes. I think that we often associate it with Elvis Presley's famous song, but the significance of this of course goes deeper and is felt more strongly depending on what your circumstances are. Churches and communities sometimes hold blue Christmas services as a way to honor grief and create a sacred space for those who need it. Kevin Yeah, and you know, whether you are part of a faith community or have your own faith practices at home, these types of rituals often feature quiet reflection, soft lighting, and even specific practices that can validate feelings of sadness, but are intended to offer some hope and comfort in that sense of community and in those rituals that are offered. And again, they just remind us that grief and joy can coexist. And I think this is an often misconception of grief in general, that the experience of grief happens only one stage at a time, it's like it's a linear experience. And those of you that have been through grief know that the reality is you can feel many emotions within one day and within one moment even. And so this time of year can bring up all of those emotions, perhaps not just joy, perhaps not just sadness, but a good mix of both. Kathy You know, we talk about a season that's supposed to be merry and bright. But like you mentioned, sometimes there's a mix of different things that occur in happy or celebratory times for us. It's that bittersweet that we talk about. Have you ever had a blue Christmas? Kevin That's such a good question. I don't think that there is one year in particular that was more blue than others. Well, you know, actually, now that I think of it, I think 2020 is perhaps the pinnacle blue Christmas for me. Kathy Sure, sure. Kevin At that time, I was working as a bedside chaplain at a hospital that was overrun with Covid, like many were. And it ...
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    11 mins
  • Celebration Meditation: Adapted from Heidi Coker
    Nov 19 2024

    This "Coping" episode covers a guided meditation focused on celebrating daily victories and finding reasons for joy in life's small moments. It encourages the listener to visualize receiving a medal or trophy, raising their arms in victory, and basking in a sense of accomplishment. The meditation emphasizes recognizing and appreciating seemingly mundane occurrences as causes for celebration, such as making a perfect cup of coffee, sunlight creating a prism, or simply getting out of bed. The overall message is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and rejoice in the miracles and victories present in everyday life.

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    3 mins
  • Election Blessing: Kate Bowler
    Nov 5 2024

    This bonus podcast covers a blessing for Election Day written by Kate Bowler. It is a prayer seeking divine guidance, peace, and mercy during the election process. The prayer acknowledges the anxiety and potential dangers surrounding the election, and asks for God's protection of truth, justice, and goodness. It calls for honesty, decency, and integrity in the electoral process, and for leaders who will work for the common good. The blessing emphasizes the importance of respect, patience, and the possibility of compromise. It concludes with a message of hope and a call to find joy even in challenging times.

    Highlights

    Introduction and Initial Prayer

    Kathy introduces the blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler. An unknown speaker then begins the prayer, asking for God's mercy and protection amidst anxiety and potential danger. The speaker quotes Psalm 65:7, highlighting God's power to calm turmoil.

    Prayer for the Election Process

    The prayer continues, asking for blessings on the land and the election process. It calls for honesty, decency, and integrity in all aspects of the election. The speaker emphasizes the need for respectful listening and the possibility of compromise.

    Prayer for Leadership and Unity

    The blessing asks for leaders who will work for the common good, seek reconciliation, and unite the country. It emphasizes the need to protect vulnerable and fearful individuals.

    Conclusion and Call to Action

    The prayer concludes with a call to trust in God's guidance and strength. It encourages listeners to pray and then find someone to laugh with, emphasizing that there is still time. The blessing ends with a quote from Romans 15:13, focusing on hope, joy, and peace through faith.



    Kathy

    Blessing for Election Day, by Kate Bowler:

    Oh God, we are anxious as we stand at the edge of so much opportunity, so much danger. God, calm our fears, protect us, and all that is true and just and good. God, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.

    Spirit, have mercy. God, you still the roaring of the seas, the pounding of the waves, and the tumult of the nations. Psalm 65:7. God, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Spirit, have mercy. Blessed are we to turn to you and pray.

    Oh God, bless our lands, and through this whole election inspire honesty in every intention, decency in every action, integrity in every decision, and the healing of every division. Grant us grace to respect others and listen patiently in a way that restores the possibility of change and creative compromise.

    Blessed are we who ask that you establish stability and peace through leaders who will work for the good of us all, who will seek reconciliation and unite our country in a way forward together to shelter those who are vulnerable, hurting, and afraid.

    Blessed are we who trust You to stand by us, strengthen us, and guide us by the light of your wisdom and love. God have mercy, Christ have mercy, Spirit have mercy. Pray once, then find someone to laugh with you.

    There is time. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that with the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13. Amen.

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    3 mins
  • Election Anxiety: Anticipatory Coping
    Nov 3 2024

    This podcast episode of 'Coping' discusses election anxiety and anticipatory coping strategies. Hosts Kevin and Kathy explore four types of anticipatory coping: problem analysis, plan rehearsal, stagnant deliberation, and outcome fantasy. They discuss their personal experiences with political engagement and share insights on managing election-related stress. The episode is timed to coincide with an upcoming general election. The hosts reference a research study on combating election stress and its impact on daily physical health. They emphasize the importance of engagement, planning, and avoiding negative coping mechanisms. The episode concludes with a blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler.

    Highlights

    Introduction to Election Anxiety

    Kevin and Kathy introduce the episode, explaining its early release due to an upcoming general election on Tuesday. Kathy notes the high tension surrounding the election, regardless of political affiliation. Kevin mentions that election anxiety is a real phenomenon.

    Anticipatory Coping Strategies

    The hosts introduce the concept of four types of anticipatory coping strategies for managing election-related stress. Kathy asks Kevin about his family's approach to discussing world events, to which Kevin responds that his family didn't engage much in political discussions. In contrast, Kathy shares that her family, with her father being a political science professor, was highly engaged in political discussions nightly.

    Research Study on Election Stress

    Kevin introduces a research article titled 'Combating Election Stress, Anticipatory Coping, and Daily Self-Reported Physical Health' by Brittany Johnson and Siobhan Newpert. Kathy explains that the study, conducted during the 2018 midterm elections with 140 respondents, aimed to measure the effect of anticipatory coping strategies on anxiety levels.

    Problem Analysis as a Coping Strategy

    Kevin explains the first anticipatory coping strategy: problem analysis. This involves actively contemplating the antecedents and meaning of future stressful situations without trying to solve the problem. Kathy shares her experience using this strategy, including spending over two hours researching propositions for the California election.

    Plan Rehearsal as a Coping Strategy

    Kevin introduces plan rehearsal as the second coping strategy, which involves envisioning steps to achieve a desired outcome. He gives examples related to voting plans. Kathy emphasizes the importance of having a plan to reduce anxiety and shares her experience helping her sons in another state plan their voting process over four weeks.

    Negative Coping Strategies: Stagnant Deliberation and Outcome Fantasy

    The hosts discuss two negative coping strategies. Kathy explains stagnant deliberation as dwelling repetitively on a problem without progress. Kevin likens it to rumination. For outcome fantasy, Kevin describes it as daydreaming about desired outcomes while ignoring problem-solving details. Kathy notes that she's observed this more commonly among female students and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing this tendency.

    Conclusion and Election Day Blessing

    Kevin summarizes the four coping strategies and encourages listeners to engage in problem analysis and plan rehearsal while avoiding negative strategies. Kathy emphasizes the importance of being involved and voting. The episode concludes with a blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler, focusing on seeking God's guidance and mercy during the election process.

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    20 mins
  • Celebration: A Spiritual Practice
    Oct 22 2024

    The final episode of season 4 of “Coping” discusses the spiritual practice of celebration as outlined in Adele Calhoun's book 'Spiritual Disciplines'. Learn about the importance of celebration, gratitude, and remembering God's faithfulness, even during difficult times. The discussion concludes with a guided celebration meditation.

    Highlights

    Introduction and Milestone Reflection

    Kathy and Kevin acknowledge reaching the milestone of 107 episodes and the end of the 4th season of their podcast 'Coping'. They express gratitude for the podcast's evolution and their partnership, reflecting on the work and resources invested in producing the episodes.

    Childhood Experiences with Celebration

    We share our childhood experiences with celebration, including typical celebrations like birthdays, holidays, and gatherings with family.

    Spiritual Practice of Celebration

    We discuss Adele Calhoun's book 'Spiritual Disciplines' and the chapter on celebration as a spiritual practice, highlighting the idea that God celebrates and that celebration can enlarge one's capacity to enjoy and serve God, even in imperfect circumstances.

    Daily and Weekly Celebration Practices

    Learn about our daily and weekly celebration practices, such as sharing sweet treats, reflecting on photo memories from previous years, and expressing gratitude. It is important to celebrate, even during difficult times, as a way to find joy and connection.

    Monthly and Yearly Celebration Traditions

    We discuss their monthly practice of celebrating their anniversary and their annual 'Year in Review' tradition. This involves reflecting on the past year through a series of prompts, remembering challenges and victories, and expressing gratitude.

    Importance of Celebration and Remembrance

    Kathy and Kevin emphasize the significance of celebration and remembrance in building faith, hope, and courage for the future. They discuss how reflecting on God's faithfulness in the past provides strength and hope for present and future challenges.

    Celebration Meditation

    The episode concludes with a guided celebration meditation adapted from Heidi Coker. The meditation encourages listeners to acknowledge and celebrate daily victories and miracles, visualizing receiving a medal or trophy and basking in the moment of joy.

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    22 mins
  • Sacred Pathways Blessing
    Oct 8 2024

    This blessing covers nine sacred spiritual pathways, each tailored to different ways of connecting with the divine. It acknowledges the diverse spiritual needs and inclinations of individuals, offering guidance and affirmation for each pathway. Please enjoy!

    May naturalists find the creator in nature's beauty, seeing God's cathedral in the grand expanse, and find renewal in the beauty of creation.

    May sensates experience the divine through every sense, feeling God's presence in worship melodies and sacred art's beauty.

    May rituals and symbols of faith deepen ascetics' experience of the divine and be a source of strength and inspiration.

    May solitude and simplicity bring traditionalists closer to the divine, and may their lives testify to simplicity and devotion.

    May intellectuals' pursuit of knowledge and wisdom bring them closer to God, and may their knowledge enrich and bless others.

    May caregivers' acts of service and kindness reflect God's love, and may their service bring joy and fulfillment to those in need.

    May the mysteries and celebrations of faith fill enthusiasts' spirits with awe and wonder, and may their journey be marked by joy and reverence.

    May contemplatives' reflections and stillness bring them closer to the divine, and may they find peace in God's presence.

    May activists' advocacy and efforts for justice reflect God's love and righteousness, and may their actions be guided by compassion and faith.

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    3 mins
  • SoulCare: Sacred Pathways
    Sep 24 2024

    In this episode of “Coping”, Kevin and Kathy discuss various spiritual pathways and practices for nurturing one's soul and faith. We discuss Gary Thomas's book 'Sacred Pathways' which outlines nine different pathways: naturalists, sensates, traditionalists, aesthetics, intellectuals, caregivers, enthusiasts, contemplatives, and activists. Also provided is an overview of each pathway and our personal experiences and suggesting practical ways to engage with each one.

    It is important to find practices that resonate with one's unique spiritual needs and Be Well Resources encourages listeners to explore the pathways further through the book and accompanying resources.

    Spiritual pathways quiz: https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment

    Be Well Resources Pathways Guide: https://www.canva.com/design/DAFys-kZ0Dc/qRxkNIbbJIvU3V0xs1fJaw/edit?utm_content=DAFys-kZ0Dc&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton

    Gary Thomas, “Sacred Pathways” book: https://www.amazon.com/shop/actorkevin/list/33DKQI838HB65?linkCode=spc&tag=kevindeegan-20&domainId=influencer&asc_contentid=amzn1.ideas.33DKQI838HB65

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    22 mins
  • Jan Richardson: Blessing in the Chaos
    Sep 10 2024

    Kevin Deegan reads a meditation titled 'Blessing in the Chaos' by Jan Richardson. It is a calming and introspective piece that encourages the reader to find stillness and peace amidst the chaos and distractions of life.

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    2 mins