Summary
Elliot and Lottie delve into the complexities of relationships, focusing on defensiveness, communication, and the impact of generational trauma. They explore the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as identified by John Gottman, discussing how defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt can undermine relationships. The conversation emphasises the importance of empathy, vulnerability, and effective communication in fostering healthy connections. They also touch on the significance of understanding one's own emotional needs and the dynamics of intimacy in relationships.

Takeaways
Defensiveness often arises from fear of blame or shame.
Stonewalling is a response to feeling overwhelmed.
Criticism can stem from a parental mindset in relationships.
Generational trauma influences current relationship dynamics.
Conflict can be a sign of growth in a relationship.
Effective communication requires both speaking and listening.
Empathy is crucial for understanding partner's feelings.
Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust.
Men often seek respect to feel loved in relationships.
Emotional intelligence is essential for healthy relationships.

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:59 Understanding Defensiveness in Relationships
06:07 The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
11:51 Exploring Generational Trauma
17:57 Conflict as Growth in Relationships
24:04 The Importance of Communication and Empathy
29:54 Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships

Get in Touch:
Lottie and couples Work: https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/
Elliot: https://elliotburgess.co.uk/

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange