• Ways to Help Release Guilt and Self Blame After Narcissistic Abuse
    Nov 12 2024
    This week, let's talk about 5 Ways to Help Release Guilt and Self Blame After Narcissistic Abuse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for July! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, beauties. Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer so far, or winter if you're across the world. For me, I'm in summer mode. I'm in vacay mode. Life is good. And it just makes me realize that we truly can create a life we want, even when we've been through some. So today we're gonna talk about five ways to stop self blame and guilt after narcissistic abuse. And I'm doing a second podcast about this because it's come up a lot lately with my clients. Some followers have messaged me about the self-blame and just feeling like ashamed and beating themselves up. And we don't have time for that. So we're gonna get into it this episode. Speaker 1: (00:50) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:48) All right, so as we know, recovering from narcissistic abuse can be very challenging, right? And overcoming the self-blame, the guilt that just, oh, you feel like, how did I let this happen? All of those thoughts can really kind of stunt your healing. So we have to kind of break through this in order to move forward. So here are five ways to help stop all those things that we just, like I said, we don't have time for. Let's move, let's move forward. And shimmy, shake, come on. The first one, really educating yourself about narcissistic abuse. Obviously in my journey I have gone very, very, very deep in understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, right? It was part of my healing journey. It's how I'm here now, helping you, giving you information. But it was really essential for me to get through the guilt and everything. Like once I realized, wow, these are actually a specific type of people that do X, Y, Z, it's almost like a science. Speaker 1: (02:54) It becomes almost predictable. I say almost, cuz not every little nuance is always predictable, but when you really start understanding narcissists, they become pretty predictable and you kind of know they're next to move and you start to see it in a more logical slash technical way rather than an emotional way. And that is helpful for our journey in healing. So listening to podcasts like this, watching YouTube videos, there's a million TikTok videos you can watch. There's just so much information out there now, thank goodness about narcissistic abuse. That being said, some of it, you know, check your resource if there's accurate information. Sometimes people just throw stuff there, stuff out there. So if you really want to understand, it is helpful to work with a therapist or a coach like myself that has been through it and truly knows what's going on, the ins and outs of narcissism and the abuse that they cause, right? Speaker 1: (03:55) But understanding those dynamics can help you recognize the abuser's actions. Were not your fault. And until you really get how it all works, it's kind of hard to not feel like you had some hand in it and you didn't. So learning about the personality disorder, which is a real thing, a personality disorder that is very, I'd like to call it calculated. It's very, it's a manipulative type of abuse. Learning ...
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    17 mins
  • 10 Ways to Regulate Your Emotions and Find Peace
    Nov 1 2024
    Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about 10 Ways to Regulate Your Emotions and Find Peace Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Wanna work with me 1:1? https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, hello. We are still working our way through the psychological effects of narcissistic abuse and on today's episode we are going to talk about emotional dysregulation. So stay tuned and we will dive into 10 tips to help you with this. Speaker 1: (00:20) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and free. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:32) So today we're talking about emotional dysregulation. What is that? You may ask? Well, it refers to the difficulties in managing and controlling your emotions effectively. So a lot of us, before I dive in, a lot of us cannot regulate our emotions correctly. If we have gone through narcissistic abuse, any type of abuse or trauma, which is like a lot of the world, let's be honest, but we can't manage and control those emotions. So it can manifest as in intense mood swings, impulsivity. Um, my impulsive shopping may have been a product of this anger outbursts, emotional instability, right? You might feel like your emotions go way high and then way low. And this actually can be very common because of the situations we were in or are in. If you're listening to this and you're still in a situation where we are literally like being trained by someone and manipulated to where our emotions are being tossed around high and low, high and low, high and low. Speaker 1: (02:36) So we get used to that feeling. So that is why even after you are out of a situation, you can still feel those intense mood swings. Your body remembers, woo, that was supposed to sound like a weird ghost and it just sounded like I was wooing for like a really good hockey team. But let's dive into like what do we do about it? I'm a very, what do we do about it? Now, person, as you may know from listening to my podcast, so here are 10 strategies that can help you cope with emotional dysregulation, uno, practice, mindfulness. There may be some overlap in some, some of these episodes here and during this series, but it's important to engage in mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing meditation, body scans. I don't know why body scans, like some people love them for me, it took me a while to do them and I still, they're not my go-to. Speaker 1: (03:29) So find what works best for you. Don't feel like if you don't love a good body scan, you don't have to do it right? Find something that works for you. It could be walking meditations, it could be meditating and having music in the background. It could be going for a run, right? But just somewhere where you're able to clear your mind and be present. These practices can help you become a aware of your emotions without judgment and respond to them more skillfully. So let's say you're meditating just like typical own style, right? As you learn to do this and it can take practice. So don't get frustrated if you try to meditate and you're like, all these thoughts, I can't do this, I'm incapable. No you're not. Shush. Just keep trying. Do it in small increments. Go from like five minutes, try to master that, then go to 10 ...
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    20 mins
  • How to Know if a Person is Trustworthy
    Oct 25 2024
    This week we talk about How to Know if a Person is Trustworthy. This can feel especially hard to those of us who have gone through abuse, but I think you will enjoy these tips! Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, beautiful beings out there. Put a smile on your face. I want you to be happy today. Let's decide to be happy. I hope you're in a good mood. If you're not, let's turn it around. All right. Today we are going to talk about how to determine if someone is trustworthy. On the previous episode this week, we talked about trust and regaining trust in ourselves and other people. So I thought I would do a little tip session. Nine tips on how to determine if someone is trustworthy. There are some signs. So let's dig in. Speaker 1: (00:37) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:35) So after narcissistic abuse, it can be tricky trusting yourself to make the good decisions, trusting yourself to be able to tell if someone's trustworthy, trusting other people. Cause there's some whack people that hurt our feelings and our souls . So let's dive into how to know if someone is trustworthy. Number one, honesty. So look for consistent honesty in their words and their actions. I say actions more than words, right? Because there's a lot of lip service, especially if you have attracted someone of the narcissistic personality and you're worried about attracting it again, they are good at lip service. So yes, words matter, but actions matter more. So are they transparent? Are they open? Are they truthful in their communication? But it's kind of like, well, yeah, you asked that, but sometimes like I thought they were honest. Now that you've been through it, believe it or not, you actually can tell a little better than the start of your journey with a narcissist because you're here, you're away, you're trying to heal. Speaker 1: (02:42) You did see red flags, you did get out or you're trying to get out. So you know, some of the red flags, you know that intuition feeling. You need to get in touch with your intuition to really be able to feel that. Again, I have some episodes go binge my episodes cuz I talk a lot about that. Meditation y yoga, doing these things really help you, um, kind of connect your intuition back to your mind, your body, your soul. So you can trust yourself intuitively, right? But one way to kind of test this is when you are, let's say dating or getting a new friendship, whatever. When you ask questions, do they feel like, seem like they're avoiding them? They don't want to answer, especially when you're asking pretty simple questions that have simple answers. Do they get defensive? So kind of read body language, see hesitancy, um, and see how open they are because a lot of narcissists will not answer certain things, especially in the beginning when they're trying to paint a beautiful, perfect picture of themselves. Speaker 1: (03:51) Also, look at that. Are they very arrogant? Are they talking about how great they are? Either way, uh, narcissistic or not, homie, don't play that. Like I I am not into arrogant people, , it's just not a great trait. So pay attention to these things as they're talking, like I said, their, their body, their demeanor. Like are they asking questions about you? Are they remembering them? Does it seem, seem sincere? And you, we'll start to build this trust. Like I said, if you've gone...
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    18 mins
  • How to Trust After Narcissistic Abuse
    Oct 16 2024
    This week we talk about 4 Tips on learning to trust again after narcissistic abuse. Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:01) Hello. In today's episode, we are going to talk about learning to trust after abuse. I know a lot of you think that's impossible. I'm not gonna say it's super easy or overnight, but yes, you can do it. And I have four lovely, one amazing queen vibe tips. Let's try to make something. Good, right? That's what I like to do. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:24) All right, look, I get it. I get it. I've been there. I remember choosing a relationship that was not the healthiest and did I stay in it longer than I should have? Yeah, that's why I'm here. But I will say also after that lovely relationship that is sarcasm dripping out of my mouth, I found that I could trust again. And it took some time, it took some work, but we can make that fun. That's why, that's why we're hanging with Christy Jade. We make fun here. Okay, so let's talk about three ways to chip away at that self-doubt of like, can I trust myself to even have a good relationship or can I trust other people? I mean, that person was whack. Are there more whack people out there? Yes, there are. We're gonna get to that. Okay, so number one is surrounding yourself with supportive people, like uplifting people, cheerleaders people who have your back, loyal people, people who don't make you feel small. Speaker 1: (02:25) You may be like, are there those people? Because I, I kind of felt like, are there, I knew some cool people, but I will tell you this, when I truly disconnected from the controlling, complaining, negative people in my life, I started actually attracting people on a whole other caliber. Like super supportive, just sweet, thoughtful. It was so much that I was like, are you just blowing smoke up my? Is this fake? Is the shoe gonna drop? I'm talking even about friendships, but the shoe has not dropped. There are actually some really amazing good healthy people out there. And I feel like a lot of us, if we grew up with some maybe a little chaotic childhoods, if we chose some relationships that maybe kicked our to put it lightly, we think, oh, that's, that's just what's out there. At least for me, I kind of felt like that. Speaker 1: (03:21) I felt like I was used to being abused in ways, mentally, emotionally, even physically. And it was kind of like this bar I had cuz I didn't know what else was out there as far as especially romantic relationships and even just people being close to me not realizing like, oh, there can be people that are really understanding and who don't just have their way or the highway mentality, right? So one of the first things I did as I kind of cleaned out the closet, remember Eminem, that song I'm cleaning out my closet. I always think of that when I think of like my journey when I disconnected from one of the major narcissists in my life, I also cleaned house just of people that I felt weren't really serving or benefiting my life very much. And it wasn't feeling good and I had to walk on eggshells. Speaker 1: (04:14) Like it just all came together and it was a big wave of disconnecting from some people. And it was hard. I'm not gonna lie, but it's ...
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    13 mins
  • 8 Strategies to Accelerate Healing C-PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse
    Oct 8 2024
    Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about 8 Strategies to Accelerate Healing C-PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Transcript: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, hello. As a part of our psychological effects of narcissistic abuse series, today we are going to touch on a, a tricky, tough one, which is C P T S D, and that stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Stay tuned to dive into some tips and tricks to help deal with it. Speaker 1: (00:23) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with? I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:20) So first of all, I am not a mental health professional, but I can offer some general suggestions on how to cope with complex post-traumatic stress disorder following narcissistic abuse. So first, it is important to remember everyone's experience is unique. So what works for one person may not always work for another. So you try and use these different techniques and methods and see what works for you. And there will be maybe some that don't. And if you're struggling with C PTs D, it's recommended to seek support from a qualified therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. So they can provide the personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs. Nevertheless, here are some strategies that I myself have used and hopefully will be helpful for you. Number one, educate yourself. So learning about C P T S D and narcissistic abuse is huge. Understanding the dynamics of the relationship and the impact it had on you can be empowering and really validating. Speaker 1: (02:25) That's something for me that was really big, was the validation. I got like, oh wow, this makes so much sense and I felt a lot less either shame, guilt, confused, you know, that blame, that guilt, all of that. So it helps you recognize your experiences are valid and they're not your fault. So I definitely like you're here, you're on my podcast. Maybe look at talks, YouTubes. There's so much information out there to help you really educate yourself on this topic. Number two, establish safety. This can come in all shapes and sizes. So you wanna create a safe environment for yourself, not just physically, but emotionally too. Which I mean everyone should be doing this in life, but especially narcissistic Abu abuse survivors. It's really important for us to like gear up and protect our peace. So this may involve, not may involve, this does involve setting boundaries. Speaker 1: (03:22) Setting boundaries is huge. Removing toxic people from your life. I am such an advocate of clearing the clutter of toxic people. I have an episode on it. I will link in the show notes. Um, but it's really, really important because if you wanna maintain well get peace and then maintain it. You cannot have destructive people in your life. Bottom line, it's just not gonna work, right? So seek temporary separation if necessary or permanent and surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals that you feel safe with. And again, we're not just talking about physical safety. That is yes, very, very important, but also even not having to walk on eggshells. I actually talked about this in my last episode. It was all about walking on eggshells. Many people wrote me, I was surprised at how many people reached out and said this episode really hit them. Speaker 1: (04:17) So I want you guys to take a listen to that. If you have not, I will put that in the...
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    15 mins
  • Are You a People Pleaser? Stop Walking on Eggshells NOW!
    Sep 27 2024
    Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Want to heal from within?!? Get more info on how, here: https://linktr.ee/FierceChristyJade FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello. Hello. Today's episode's gonna be a little more casual, a little unplanned, a little cross your fingers. Let's hope something good comes out of this. Just kidding. Stay tuned. We're gonna dive into walking on eggshells. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey Queens, welcome to, but Still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:14) So this is something I definitely went through with the narcissist in my life and every client I've had, every person I've had reach out. This tends to be something we all have in common, that with the narcissist, you are basically trained to have to walk on eggshells. Why? I don't know. Because the, the more you may go against them or not agree with them or just do what you want to do, the worse the consequences are, whether that's emotional, physical, whatever type of abuse. And this honestly could go for any type of a abuse, not just narcissistic abuse, but especially with narcissists. Man, it is their way or the highway. And we learn that we have to sacrifice our own wants, our own needs in order to placate them. I grew up pretty scared of somebody in my life. I grew up, I'll be honest, terrified because I was scared if I said the wrong thing made the wrong move, that person would explode. Speaker 1: (02:25) And it was a very scary experience. Every day I had to walk around on eggshells, right? That's a saying, walking on eggshells. And this was all, I honestly knew. I didn't realize the severity of how it would impact my entire life moving forward, even after I wasn't in this narcissist life anymore. So today we're gonna talk about how to change your mindset because it's not just kind of like, oh, here's a tip to not have to walk on eggshells, right? Like it's a whole mindset shift. So I thought, let's dig into it. I don't, like I said, I don't really have bullet points here, but I'm just gonna talk about my experience, what helped me and it, I'm so passionate about this. I may do another episode on it, but I just wanted to just have, have like a heart to heart with you guys about this because this is, something comes up, like I said, my clients are like, oh, I have to walk on eggshells. Speaker 1: (03:21) And then it bleeds into our lives. So when we are even out of the relationship, whether it's someone in your childhood, whether it's a romantic situation, you have really been conditioned to sacrifice your wants and needs. And we have these fears built in now of upsetting the narcissist. Yes. But it bleeds into our life of we now are often afraid of conflict. In my experience, I will say this, I'm a bold, fierce lady, okay? I've always had a stronger personality. So for me, this showed up just with a certain type of personality. I had no trouble with certain people saying, Hey, this is how I feel. But it was only people I felt safe with. The thing is, when you have grown up and are around narcissists, there can be a likelihood that you will attract and be comfortable with selfish people or people who are their way or the highway, because you are used to that personality, right? ...
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    21 mins
  • Am I the Toxic One? The Surprising Answer
    Sep 19 2024
    Top 3% in podcasts globally My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ #notmyshit Journal https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09P2HMWFF?ie=UTF8&psc=1&linkCode=sl1&tag=christym33-20&linkId=266a98aec073c6e361ea5a2b4e69d95d&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT FINAL But Still She Thrives Ep 34 Am I the Toxic One - The Answer You May Not Expect Speaker 1 00:00 Today is a juicy topic. Am I the toxic one? I have been asked that. I see it all over narcissistic Facebook pages. People wanna know, am I the toxic one? And I've got some answers for you. Speaker 1 00:16 Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mindf? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1 01:14 I am so excited to do this episode because A, we often will be made out to be the crazy one, the toxic one, right? The narcissist in our life will put blame on us. We know that. But once we get out and we're on the other side, especially, we may say, Hey, maybe I wasn't all these things. So I'm gonna dig in. There's two answers to this. There's a no, none of this is your fault and you are not the narcissist. Like if you are even asking, am I the narcissist, you're probably not because narcissists are not self-aware. They don't even think they could be a narcissist. So the odds of that are very low. Do you have any toxic traits by nature or that have been formed because of your relationship? Maybe. So let's dig in. So like I said, the fact you're here, you're trying to learn, you're trying to grow, is a very not narcissistic trait, right? Speaker 1 02:11 It's also a not so toxic person trait. Does that mean you are free of any toxic tendencies that may be due to toxic relationships in your childhood, in your romantic hood, in your friendships, whatever it is that you learned or used as a response to someone else's toxic trait? Maybe. So we're gonna ask some questions. You can ask these questions to yourself and be honest, truly dig in. If you wanna figure out am I the toxic one? Do I have any toxic traits, right? The first one, are you only concerned with yourself? So this is a big narcissistic trait and it can be a toxic person trait. In general. Are you concerned with yourself? Are you self-absorbed? Everything's all about you. Everything always comes back to talking about you or your feelings, whatever, whatever odds are. If you are with a narcissist, you are probably sort of the opposite, A people pleaser. Speaker 1 03:07 But once you are out of this situation or nearing getting out, you may start to build up that confidence and start to say, Hey, what about me? And that's great. I love that you're a queen. Do more of that. And at some point though, the the pendulum may swing the other way where you get like, wow, this is my time and it is your time. You get that self-care, but don't lose your, the sweet part of you, right? Like don't lose that caring for other people. Don't throw other people under the bus. All of that. You...
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    19 mins
  • How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse
    Sep 12 2024
    Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May with VIP PRICING! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! fiercemamac@gmail.com Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, my beautiful queen Bees. Today we're talking more about the effects of narcissistic abuse. If you are jumping in new here, welcome. We are doing this whole series on the effects of narcissistic abuse, psychologically, mentally, emotionally, all of fun. So stick around for how to help heal anxiety and fear after narcissistic abuse. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with? I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:23) All right, so we know surviving, narcissistic abuse can take a lot of courage and resilience, but the journey toward healing does not end once the relationship is over. Once you've disconnected, often survivors are left grappling with anxiety and fear that linger long after the abuse has ended. So these emotional wounds can be very overwhelming, but it's essential to remember that healing is possible, right? Having that faith has been a big part of my journey. So today we're gonna explore strategies to help you navigate and overcome some of those anxieties and fears. Empowering you to reclaim that inner strength. Cuz girl, I see it. I know it's there. Let's do this. First of all, you have to validate your feelings, right? It's the first step really, in any form of abuse, acknowledging it and saying, yes, yes, this was abuse, this was bad. It's okay that I have these effects, these psychological effects, whatever sort of effects, it's okay and it's normal in this situation that I'm in, right? Is this situation a common thing? No. We are warriors who have survived some of the craziest type of abuse out there. So it's okay to validate your feelings. These people made us feel completely crazy, like things were our fault. Like we were crazy, like we were perceiving things incorrectly, that we were just paranoid, that we were sensitive, you know, all the things they called us. Okay? So you're out of it. I want you to breathe. Put your hand to your heart and say, my feelings are valid. I'm serious. I'm gonna give you a moment. Speaker 1: (03:06) Really s just suck it all in. Like it's okay. It's okay that there may be some resistance there too. This is why I'm big on affirmations, repeating these things daily in the morning before you go to bed. My feelings are valid, is a really important affirmation for people who have gone through such abuse. Another standard, I did it myself, is seeking professional help. This stuff is hard to go through alone. I highly suggest reaching out to myself of course, because this is what I do. Very specific to this type of abuse. I have a lot of knowledge, a lot of experience, and it's fun to work with me. So yay. Or a therapist, I always will say a therapist who has experience in their own lives with narcissism is going to be very beneficial. Okay? So someone who specializes in trauma and abuse, great, but narcissistic abuse, it is different. Speaker 1: (04:05) And I do think it's important to try to seek out a professional who has the experience with narcissism. So whether it's me or a therapist, somebody there to help you understand narcissism further. Not only that, but helping, keeping you accountable ...
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    19 mins