While it seems surprising, some people undermine their own good intentions and long-term goals. Self-sabotage occurs when people hinder their own success. When people take these destructive steps, their harmful behavior can negatively impact nearly every part of their lives including their relationships and career. So, Why Do People Self-Sabotage? People thwart their progress for a variety of reasons. They may consciously or unconsciously commit acts of self-sabotage. The causes range from childhood issues to prior relationship effects. Other reasons for this type of destructive behavior vary from low self-esteem and coping problems to problems with cognitive dissonance. Conscious and Unconscious Self-Sabotage People who self-sabotage might be aware of their actions. For example, someone who's overweight and on a diet might consciously sabotage their good efforts by eating a whole carton of ice cream. Or they might unconsciously act. A person misses a work deadline. On the surface, it seems like he was running late. But the truth is he’s afraid of failure. He self-sabotages by missing the due date, thus he thwarts his goal to move up in the company. Mental health practitioners have identified common ways people self-sabotage. Three easy-to-identify ways include procrastination, perfectionism, and self-medication. Listen to the live show to learn more about self-sabotaging and how you can stop that….

I can help you build the correct mindset for massive success in your life, both personal and professional. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999.

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

Follow me and listen to my podcast: https://pod.co/epic-your-business-through-sales-leadership-the-ravin-papiah-way

Continuing the conversation, how do you think we can channel the energy produced from failure?

Let me give you some insights….

And that’s the rest of the conversation between William and Sam:

Arruda: And what did you learn?

Collins: My lesson was to embrace failure and see it as a stepping stone on the way to success. Failing is an inevitable part of creating your destiny, and it gave me the platform to start my own business and follow my biggest dreams. I had nothing to lose. Now, I welcome it. After learning to deal with disappointment, I knew persistence and dedication to my goals would eventually be rewarded.

Arruda: What can we learn from our failures?

Collins: If nothing else, I hope you realize failure is temporary, and failure is good even if, undeniably, it feels really bad when it happens. When something goes wrong, we need to learn to say, "Something good is happening here. Look for the greater message of the experience and expect it to, eventually, turn out for the good. Recognizing this gets easier with practice.

Arruda: In your book, you recommend “routine failing.” Can you share more about that?

Collins: I heartily recommend routine failing. It means you are actually active, doing something, moving forward. Too often we buy into what society says, or what the past has shown us, will work or not work. When we do that, we limit ourselves, and we impede our ability to make big things happen.

Listen to the live show for me to continue sharing with you the rest of the conversation between William and Sam…

I can help you build the correct mindset for massive success in your life, both personal and professional. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

Follow me and listen to my podcast: https://pod.co/epic-your-business-through-sales-leadership-the-ravin-papiah-way

William Arudda, in his article ‘Why Failure is essential to Success’, says that failure is not a step backward; it’s an excellent stepping stone to success. We never learn to move out of our comfort zone if we don’t overcome our fear of failure. The most progressive companies deliberately seek employees with track records reflecting both failure and success. That’s because someone who survives failure has gained irreplaceable knowledge and the unstoppable perseverance born from overcoming hardship.

To learn more about the benefits of failing, William reached out to executive coach and speaker Dr Sam Collins. A leading global voice on women as leaders and entrepreneurs, she was named one of the Top 200 Women to Impact Business & Industry by Her Majesty, the Queen of England. Sam just wrote a book about failure – her failures – and how they have had a profoundly positive impact on her life.

Listen to the live show for me sharing to you some of the conversation between William and Sam

I can help you to have massive success in your life, both personal and professional, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999 If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

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Most of us don't set out looking to fail at anything. And we especially don’t want to be labeled as a failure. But maybe that is a mistake.

Failure can be useful. We can learn from it, gain new insights, and do better next time. The right kind of failures give us new information and teach us something that gets us closer to our goals.

Some live by the motto: If you aren't failing you aren't taking big enough risks. Said another way, if everything you try turns out exactly as planned and feels very comfortable, you probably aren't stretching yourself. And if you aren't stretching, you aren't growing.

A fairly common understanding of failure is setting a goal, but not achieving it. We tend to believe that knowing whether or not you achieved a goal is fairly simple and straightforward. It’s often based on data. But in truth, failure is often in the eye of the beholder.

Imagine yourself in each of these three scenarios and whether you'd consider yourself to have failed:

An experienced marathon runner sets a goal to run her next marathon in under three-and-a-half hours. This goal is a full 15 minutes shorter than her prior best time. She completes the marathon in 3 hours and 36 minutes. Besting her prior record by nine minutes.

A director seeks a promotion to EVP and competes against other internal and external candidates. He receives positive feedback. But He gets told that the leadership team felt that hiring an external person would demonstrate their commitment to innovation. A top young professional at an organization gets asked to prepare a presentation for a high-profile meeting. He submits what he considers to be an excellent presentation to his boss. The boss praises the work but substantially changes the slides before the big meeting.

Notice that the differentiator in all three of these failure analysis examples is an ideal we've set in our minds.

Measuring goal achievement can be a subjective and political activity. And in each of these examples above, you can sense that the individuals tried hard and performed well in their efforts.

Perhaps that common definition of being in failure mode as "not achieving a goal" isn't so accurate and straightforward, after all.

I can help you to put your desire to work. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

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E36 – Loving Adversity – the secret to success

Whether you find obstacles in your career, studies, or personal life, adversity has the potential to be a powerful catalyst: it can make you strong or render you helpless. Ultimately, your approach to facing adversity, and your response to unexpected outcomes, is a deciding factor in whether adversity will propel you forward or stop you in your tracks.

Natalie Rabson, counsellor at Boston City Campus, says: “No one escapes difficulties. Setbacks may have the power to temporarily derail your journey, the aim at Boston is to get people to see them rather as gifts in the form of a learning experience. This gives our learners the opportunity to create empowering beliefs and recommit with greater determination in order to achieve their goals,” Natalie shares 5 key strategies to leverage the power of adversity for your greatest success.

1. Loving the negative association “Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience,” says author Mark Manson. While it is easy to fall in love with our end goal, we need to travel the journey to reach it. And the journey may have bumps, hardships, even failure. It is unrealistic to think that there’s a direct path to getting to that destination of success. “From the outset, we have to know that there will be hard moments, difficult exams, and problems. Focussing on one step at a time, for example, one module at a time, enables you to manage each challenge instead of feeling overwhelmed by the big picture,” says Natalie.

2. The Obstacle is the Way While obstacles may appear threatening, they can also be the very thing that catalyse our growth. The pandemic has been a huge obstacle, but some have turned it into a lucrative opportunity. Others have changed the direction of their business 180 degrees. Hotels in Cape Town were offering drop off laundry services, catering, and work stations for daily rental. Choosing to see each outcome or event as an opportunity to learn and develop further, makes you a stronger person.

3. Power of Inversion Inversion is a practice of thinking the opposite of what you want. It may go against common sense but highlighting mistakes and issues you want to avoid bring inciteful wisdom into what not to do along the way. Seeing this another way, imagine the worst that could happen, then go for it. You’ve already faced the obstacle in your mind, and if failure happens, it won’t come as a shock and it won’t feel so bad.

4. Learn to love the “Nos” “You can achieve virtually anything you want–if you’re willing to hear ‘no’ often enough,” says Andrea Waltz, co-author of Go for No! While it is human nature to want to avoid the rejection associated with “No”, the fact is that hearing a ‘no’, brings you closer to getting your yes – be it for the job, the relationship, or the life you want to have. No’s should hopefully motivate you to work harder and achieve more.

5. Take action Former Canadian professional ice hockey player, Wayne Gretsky said, “You always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Forget about telling yourself all the reasons why adversity is holding you back from going for that job, that relationship, or that degree; if you don’t try push past the setback you will never know what’s possible. And even if Plan A doesn’t work out, you will probably learn how to do it better and apply it to Plan B, C, D ….continuing to take action down the line until you achieve what you want. “Encountering adversity may be inevitable, so you need to choose how it will dictate your actions”, says Natalie. “Expect adversity, use it to alter your course or behaviour, and continue towards your goals”.

E35 Adversity as your ally

"I'd like for you to think of adversity as simply stepping-stones to live the life of your dreams," asserts Coach Michael Taylor, the author of Adversity is Your Greatest Ally. "They are neither good nor bad, until you choose to label them as such."

His book is based on his life experiences of overcoming being born in the inner city projects of Corpus Christi, Texas to a single mother with six kids who were the poster children for poverty back in the Sixties. It is also based on his ability to overcome being a child-abuse victim and a high school dropout who refused to succumb to a life of mediocrity, who was able to climb the corporate ladder, and become a mid-level manager for a multi-million dollar company at the tender age of 22. But it is also based on his ability to overcome divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, and a deep state of depression in which he even contemplated taking his own life.

Now 56, the middle-aged Taylor feels more like a teenager. He lives with a certain vulnerability and authenticity that inspires those he comes in contact with.

"Rest assured that you have everything you need right now to overcome any adversity placed in front of you," asserts Coach Taylor, now a highly successful businessman. "The two questions you must now ask yourself are, 'What do I want?' and 'What am I willing to do to get it?' When you can sufficiently answer these two questions you are ready to begin moving towards your destiny. The problem is, very few people can answer these two simple questions."

His mantra is very empowering: Every human being has the capacity to overcome adversity in their lives. Every adversity in our lives has a lesson and a gift that can guide us to a life of joy. Every human being is endowed with unique gifts and talents that are to be shared with the world to make it a better place.

"Every motivational speaker or spiritual teacher has the same message," concludes Coach Taylor. "There is a part of us that is divine and connected to a power greater than ourselves. What makes my story unique are the adversities I've overcome to rebuild my life and how I share that story with others."

I can help you build the correct mindset for massive success in your life, both personal and professional. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

Follow me and listen to my podcast: https://pod.co/epic-your-business-through-sales-leadership-the-ravin-papiah-way Top of Form

Ask for help

Look, seeking pleasure, no matter how profound, is only temporary. To go through adversity successfully, we all need a support system.

Don’t try to go through life alone. If you don’t have a support system, create one. Start with your family, if they are no good, seek friends who are in the same position as you are. Having a good spouse also matters.

But that’s not the only thing. If you’re struggling, seek help from your co-workers or boss. And don’t be afraid to get therapy.

Too often, people feel too proud to ask for support. I’ll tell you this: No one on earth is strong enough to go through all adversity alone. Sure, you might be strong enough to deal with the challenges of life. But there always comes a time when things become “too much.”

That’s when you need help. When that time comes: Ask.

Write down your biggest fear

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” It’s one of my favorite questions. I learned it years ago from Susan Jeffers’ classic book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!

When times are difficult, ask yourself that question Did your company go bust? Did you lose your job? Did you get a divorce? Did you make a bad decision?

Well, what’s the worst thing that can happen? Will those things kill you? Probably not.

This exercise makes us aware of how irrational and fearful we are. Simply ask the question and spend some time meditating on it.

I prefer to write in my journal because writing is thinking. And when you do both things, you become wiser and stronger.

Create a plan

My second favorite question when dealing with adversity is this: What are you going to do about it?

Sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help. We know that. But why do we still feel helpless? Because we’ve trained to become passive.

But in recent years, I’ve learned to adopt an active mindset. When I lose motivation, I either come up with a list of things I want to do or set some new goals for myself. And then, I start working on it.

When you create a plan, you’re by definition looking at the future. And when we imagine a better future, we start feeling better. And even if you don’t lack motivation, it’s good to look at your goals regularly. Keep reminding yourself of where you’re going and more importantly, WHY you’re going there. That will motivate you like nothing else.

Set your sight towards the future, and don’t stop until you’re dead. That might be sooner than you think.

So don’t forget to enjoy the process of getting there (which is the ultimate prize).

I can help you to have massive success in your life, both personal and professional. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

Follow me and listen to my podcast: https://pod.co/epic-your-business-through-sales-leadership-the-ravin-papiah-way Top of Form Bottom of Form

In the midst of challenging times, we often think we’re going through the worst time ever. And when we’re in the middle of adversity, we think it never ends. That’s why we always say things like, “my life is over!”

No, you’re not dramatic. It’s just one of our thinking errors. It’s difficult for us to judge a crisis while we’re in it.

In hindsight, it’s much easier. We can look back and think, “I survived that. I will survive other difficult things in the future.”

But when we face illness, financial problems, or adversity in our relationships, we’re quick to think it’s THE END. And once we get stuck in a negative thinking pattern, we lose motivation.

And what happens when we lose motivation? Right, we give up So how can we get over that? How can we stay motivated during tough times? After going through a lot of adversity (personally and professionally) myself, I’ve learned a few things about staying motivated.

I love what Darius Foroux shares:

1. Do something that makes you feel good

“Does online shopping count?” No, It does not.

You and I both know that buying things gives you temporary pleasure. That’s the last thing you need during adversity.

Because if you seek shallow pleasure, you’ll go 60 miles per hour on the Hedonic Treadmill. Your highs will be still high, but the lows will be devastating.

Instead, seek lasting pleasure. Don’t know what to do? Here are a few things I like: Organize an activity with friends/family that cheer you up (avoid negative people, even if they are your family) Spend a WHOLE day reading a good book Go for a long walk or run (more than 50 minutes) Hit the sauna Go to the pool—swim a bit and relax a bit Write about what you’ve learned Start learning a new skill

We need to boost your dopamine. To do that, we need to reward ourselves (again, don’t buy anything). Do something that makes you enjoy life. That’s my standard. I aim for doing something that makes me say, “Man, I love life.”

I can help you to put your desire to work. IF you are willing to join my coaching, whether group coaching or one on one coaching, please e-mail me at ravinpapiahleadership@gmail.com, or watsapp me on +23052507999

If you are not aware, you are nowhere! So, pick up your smartphone, AND watsapp me NOW to change your life forever! Ravin

If you want to work with me, register using this link: https://bit.ly/3z5MuRz

Follow me and listen to my podcast: https://pod.co/epic-your-business-through-sales-leadership-the-ravin-papiah-way