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The Narc Decoder: Understanding the Language of the Narcissist

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The Narc Decoder: Understanding the Language of the Narcissist

By: Tina Swithin
Narrated by: Rebecca Roberts
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About this listen

Divorcing a narcissist? You are probably left feeling baffled and shaken by the communication that you receive from the narcissist. In my mid-20s, I contemplated learning multiple foreign languages. I envisioned dabbling in French to successfully make my way around Paris or Irish Gaelic to explore the rich history of Ireland along with my deep ancestral roots in that country. My day dreams about learning new languages always went hand in hand with the imagery of world travel. The thought of exploring exotic and old world places far away from home intrigued me. My mind summoned several foreign adventures, but never did I think I would need to learn a foreign language to navigate my own life.

In 2008, I heard the words, "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" (NPD) to describe my then-husband, Seth. It took a couple years for the reality of those three little words to really sink in. Looking back, the red flags had been waving in the wind since our very first date. Those flags grew taller and more vibrant in color during our marriage. As it turns out, those same red flags that had been lining my path for years were dipped in a highly flammable mixture of kerosene. I realized the danger only when they exploded near the end of my marriage. Like any unexpected explosion, I was unprepared and left nursing deep, emotional, third-degree burns. In my research, I discovered a new language which took quite a bit of studying and insight on NPD to understand.

As it turns out, the reason that I was so bewildered by Seth's communication style was that we were speaking completely different languages. I spoke the English version of "human" while he was speaking the non-human, "Narc-ish". I am convinced there is a Narc-ish dictionary or manual hidden deep in a dark, musty hole somewhere in a faraway land with step-by-step instructions on how to inflict fear, confusion and despair. From this land, narcissists hail.

©2016 Tina Swithin LLC (P)2016 Tina Swithin LLC
Abuse Divorce & Separation Personal Development Relationships Marriage Ireland Narcissism France Divorce

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The bible for victim of narcissism

The most actionable book even when you are overwhelmed by the process of divorcing or understanding the NPD. Highly valuable informations, easy to digest despite the painful contents.

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Brilliant

Once you understand the position you are in, this book takes the sting out of the abuse and offers a light hearted way of coping. I will be listening to this over and over until my inner decoder is completely reliable.

I was discussing with my councillor yesterday how to deal with the gaslighting and we agreed it’s best to put my fingers In my ears and realise and quote a mantra (it’s gaslighting so not react). To then be able to use the decider when I relive the conversation is going to be so helpful.

Thank you - exactly what I need at this time.

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Hilariously Terrifying

Loved it. As someone who has struggled to decode the extremely bizarre and illogical patterns of behaviour in my own "relationship" with a narcissist, this was a great listen. Humorous and disturbingly accurate.

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A "must" for all

I can't thank Tina enough for sharing her story. The humour she brings to what can only be described as a harrowing experience for many around the world is inspirational and I for one am thankful to know I am not alone. Thank you X

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Good for experiencing narc behaviour examples

This is a sound education for anyone who wants to experience what a narc may write, voice and vent... then an interpretation of what it actually means. It will help reassure that you're not the one with the issues... that you should really be moving away from the one who has... the narc!!

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