It is the beginning of a New Year - a fresh start, a new chance, new beginnings ....and the pressure is on already it feels like!

We are asked to reflect on the old year and so we do....

*How have we ‘performed’ as parents over the last year

*What did not work for us at all

*What do we want to take forward into the next 12 months?

This week, we want to offer you a different, non-judgmental perspective on our parenting that will help us set meaningful goals for the year ahead while lightening the guilt of what has passed this year.

I don’t know about you, but our inbox is stuffed full of invitations to review, reflect, and reveal what’s gone on in 2024 to help reset for the next 12 months.

Our common reaction to looking back is a feeling of: “Well, I could have done that a lot better, I could have said better, I should have been at X point by now.”

There’s a whole lot of self-judgment in there that can frankly just weighs one down and isn’t helpful. When thinking of our parenting, there’s another layer of guilt piled on top of the “could-have-done-better” list.

When it comes to deciding what’s next after high school, or college it’s natural for parents to feel a mix of excitement, anxiety, and even a bit of nostalgia. Whether college, trade school, or a gap year, we all want what’s best for our kids—but sometimes our own expectations and emotions can take over, stifle their voices and create friction.

So how can we make sure we’re giving our teen or young adult the space to be part of the decision-making process and feel comfortable with it ?

This topic came up when we asked what parents want to learn more about. We love talking about this, as we know how very emotional this time can be for parents and kids equally. And understandably so! The transition after high school is a time of significant growth, excitement, and often uncertainty for both kids and parents. This new chapter brings fresh challenges as teens seek independence and begin to define their own paths, while parents face their own shifts, supporting from a distance and adjusting to new family dynamics.

Ultimately, this phase is about change - change that comes for the entire family as the structure they are used to is about to look different. So let’s look at what the cycle of change means for us and how we can use it to guarantee a positive impact moving forward.

There are many great models explaining the Cycle of Change - and we want to use the model used by iPEC, where we trained as coaches where we imagine the Cycle of Change as a “deck of cards" with four stages—Shuffle, Deal, Play the Game, and Toss In—each offering valuable insights to help both kids and parents embrace change with openness and resilience.

The Cycle of Change provides a roadmap for navigating this journey, offering both parents and kids a way to honor each stage, respect each other’s experiences, and move forward with mutual trust and understanding. Through this, families can embrace the new dynamics and continue to grow together, one step at a time.