It is the beginning of a New Year - a fresh start, a new chance, new beginnings ....and the pressure is on already it feels like!

We are asked to reflect on the old year and so we do....

*How have we ‘performed’ as parents over the last year

*What did not work for us at all

*What do we want to take forward into the next 12 months?

This week, we want to offer you a different, non-judgmental perspective on our parenting that will help us set meaningful goals for the year ahead while lightening the guilt of what has passed this year.

I don’t know about you, but our inbox is stuffed full of invitations to review, reflect, and reveal what’s gone on in 2024 to help reset for the next 12 months.

Our common reaction to looking back is a feeling of: “Well, I could have done that a lot better, I could have said better, I should have been at X point by now.”

There’s a whole lot of self-judgment in there that can frankly just weighs one down and isn’t helpful. When thinking of our parenting, there’s another layer of guilt piled on top of the “could-have-done-better” list.

When it comes to deciding what’s next after high school, or college it’s natural for parents to feel a mix of excitement, anxiety, and even a bit of nostalgia. Whether college, trade school, or a gap year, we all want what’s best for our kids—but sometimes our own expectations and emotions can take over, stifle their voices and create friction.

So how can we make sure we’re giving our teen or young adult the space to be part of the decision-making process and feel comfortable with it ?

This topic came up when we asked what parents want to learn more about. We love talking about this, as we know how very emotional this time can be for parents and kids equally. And understandably so! The transition after high school is a time of significant growth, excitement, and often uncertainty for both kids and parents. This new chapter brings fresh challenges as teens seek independence and begin to define their own paths, while parents face their own shifts, supporting from a distance and adjusting to new family dynamics.

Ultimately, this phase is about change - change that comes for the entire family as the structure they are used to is about to look different. So let’s look at what the cycle of change means for us and how we can use it to guarantee a positive impact moving forward.

There are many great models explaining the Cycle of Change - and we want to use the model used by iPEC, where we trained as coaches where we imagine the Cycle of Change as a “deck of cards" with four stages—Shuffle, Deal, Play the Game, and Toss In—each offering valuable insights to help both kids and parents embrace change with openness and resilience.

The Cycle of Change provides a roadmap for navigating this journey, offering both parents and kids a way to honor each stage, respect each other’s experiences, and move forward with mutual trust and understanding. Through this, families can embrace the new dynamics and continue to grow together, one step at a time.

Has this school year been busy as ever for you and the kids?

With so many tasks and responsibilities, it’s easy to focus on what’s left to do rather than what we’ve already accomplished. By pausing to acknowledge our progress, what has worked out for us and what hasn’t yet - we realize how far we’ve come—both as individuals and as families. Being grateful for what we have been able to accomplish, adjusting how we measure ourselves and those around us can be a powerful tool to make us a lot less stressed when considering how long the to-do list still is.

As mid term holidays approach, its a great time to take a deep breath, stop for a moment and look back at where you are as a family. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind of parenting, always thinking about the next thing—whether it’s getting through homework, preparing meals, being the private Uber or handling those last-minute school projects. But how often do we stop and reflect on where we are as a family and how we are doing regarding all those resolutions we had for this school term.

To download a WHOOP form, check our website!

Here’s a question - when would you say you were at your best as a parent?

And when do you feel you are at your worst?

It takes just as much mental and physical energy to be our ‘best’ parent as it does to be our ‘worst’ parent, it just feels much easier at our best!

Being able to be in that ‘flow’ state or at our best is super important whatever we are doing, be it parenting, working or pursuing our hobbies or dreams.( remember those!) and there is a way to find and keep accessing that kind of energy (we call it anabolic energy as it helps produce the feel good hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin etc.

Awareness is just the start of working out what you need as a parent and as a person to get into your flow and stay there, especially with all the pressures and demands of helping our kids navigate their world. There are many different models, frameworks and structure to help build self awareness of what’s going on for us in our head, heart and gut and we use the Energy Framework developed by Bruce D Schneider. There is an Energy Leadership Index Assessment you can take to help start this journey or you can dive right in by joining one of our small and supportive group courses.

So what would it feel like to feel recharged, re energised and revived just by being able to identify what kind of energy works best for us in any given situation? Great, right? And it’s not rocket science, its just about practicing our awareness within a framework and flexing those metal muscles that we can call on when we need them.

Last week we talked about the GAP year fear - what mixed bag emotions it brings when your recent graduate wants to take a break to either see the world and gather new experiences, or you cannot seem to get them off your couch…and what either situation can bring up for us as parents.

This week, we want to talk about that famous “empty nest” - what does it mean for many parents, when their recent graduate is moving on and moving out.

And when we say “recent graduate”, we always mean high school and college, as we feel it does apply to both those scenarios. Not every child moves away from home when going to college or chooses to live in a dorm.

So for many parents, the first true “empty nesting” experience actually happens after college graduation when the kid needs to move on and out for the first real job.

Find out, what it is that you want to feel going forward and how you want to support your child’s transition into true adulthood. Is it creating a void - or does it allow for space?

How do I parent my gap year student?

• Is your graduate working tables?
• Has your graduate no life plan?
• Is your recent graduate struggling to find a purpose post-education?
• Is your recent graduate sitting around the house not moving forward?

Summer holidays are over, and your super talented graduate seems to have no drive or motivation to move forward with their life, and it’s driving you mad!

In our first Episode of Season 3, we talk about why as parents we can find this so triggering, how to get out of fix-it mode, and how to best support our graduate ‘grown-up’ kids in the best way for them and for us.

nderstand what pushes your buttons and how to maintain mental energy and motivation for making things happen and best support your family, sign up for our Mission I'm Possible Course!

As always - if you find this helpful, please share it with your network!

In this episode of our podcast, we are thrilled to welcome a special guest, seasoned Speech and Language Pathologist Danielle Moore of The Language Group in Atlanta, GA.

As parent coaches, we are here to support parents, and we believe it’s crucial to let the experts who work directly with the kids highlight what parents need to address themselves to get the most out of the experts’ support.

Our conversation will be unedited and honest and delve into the heart of their role, challenging assumptions and misconceptions that parents (and teachers) often hold. We’ll explore who they serve and our guest will share their experiences and observations about the common attitudes or patterns they’ve noticed when parents first approach them.

We’ll discuss the misconceptions parents often have about their child’s situation and how parental expectations can impact the work with the child. Our guest will share insights on how parents can fully accept their child’s current situation unconditionally and how to demystify the parental expectation of the ‘Linear Path of Success’.

We’ll also touch on what an “ideal” parent might do, say, and address within themselves to ensure their child gets the most out of the services provided. Our guest will also share their perspective on the support available for parents and what professionals in the field wish parents would address.

Tune in for an engaging and informative discussion!