Don't Lick the Minivan
And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
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Don't Lick the Minivan
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Narrated by:
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Trudie Kessler
About this listen
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:
- The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied
- The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks
- The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie"
- The horror of glitter
- And much more!
A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college - eh, therapy - fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.
©2013 Leanne Shirtliffe (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
Editor reviews
Raising newborn twins in Bangkok wasn't easy, but it was certainly colorful, according to Leanne Shirtliffe's raucously entertaining memoir. From eating deep-fried bugs to entangling with her blunt French hairdresser, Shirtliffe describes parenting abroad with a snappy zest, which is matched by Trudie Kessler, who lends a breezy tone to Shirtliffe's witty observations, ranging from astonishment to self-deprecation. Her examination of post-partum depression interjects a needed dose of poignancy, as does her self-described "sappy" realizations on the joy of motherhood. The locale may be different, but parents will find similarly relatable and hilarious experiences in Don't Lick the Minivan.
Critic reviews
What listeners say about Don't Lick the Minivan
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kerry
- 06-03-22
Funny, honest, ideal listening for parents
Loved this book, my sister is pregnant with twins and have recommend to her too
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ezada
- 21-10-22
Very funny
I am a twins Mom and I related so well with everything she wrote. I often laughed outloud and I had to share with hubby some of the stories. Highly recommended for an easy fun listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kitten0b
- 06-10-22
Funny and relatable
this was a great book and if you have any any children it doesn't have to be twins you can definately relate to it. the story is recounted in a humorous way yet you can feel the struggle sometimes just like it is when you parent looking back the struggling moments can be laughable and sometimes without laughter you would cry. I throughly enjoyed this and the narrator was really great as well and easy to listen to. definately have a listen ..
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Sam A
- 10-03-23
Honest and relatable
As the title says I loved this book. I relate to a lot of this I don't have twins but 2 children. I'm the mum who doesn't like or do parties who doesn't take everything so seriously.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ioana Popa
- 13-01-22
In case you need parenting reassurance...
Trudie Kessler did an amazing job narrating this book, to the point I had to double-check it hadn't been written by her.
Light-hearted truth telling about what being a parent is really like. The good, the bad, and the post-partum depression. It's all depicted in a wonderfully fun and mater-of-fact way.
It's real. In a world where instagram parents strive to show you how they magically do it all perfectly, this book reassures you that we're all only human - especially once we become parents. And that's okay.
Listening to this book is like having a sippy-cup of wine with an old friend who's been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt and is now giving you her blessing to mess up your own kids. You'll mess them up anyway - with, or without anyone's blessing.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 20-07-23
Very entertaining, an easy listen
Reassuring, candid and everyday. Really enjoyed this listen, absolutely no parental pomp here, would recommend.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Aishling Taylor
- 12-03-23
Relatable and a bit funny
Not a fan of her voice but that’s a very personal thing. She tells her story well and her woes of life are relatable. If you have some time to kill on a journey and fancy some light entertainment, this would tick the box
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Ned
- 28-03-22
Get passed the voice reading then it’s good
Give it a chance . You get used to the robotic ladies voice which was annoying at first
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Clare
- 20-05-15
Brilliant
Loved the story . Laughed the whole way through . The narrator was brilliant putting on different voices for the different characters. Definitely recommend this audiobook
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- H. Viola
- 18-10-23
Patents only
If you want children you need this,
If you have children get this book
If you don’t have any
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