Parenting Adopted Child

It’s a freezing winter’s night in 1954. A baby boy, a few hours old, is left by his mother, wrapped in nothing but two sheets of newspaper and hidden amongst the undergrowth by a canal bank. An hour later, a late-shift postman is walking wearily home when he hears a faint cry. He finds the newspaper parcel and discovers the newborn, white-cold and whimpering, inside. After being rushed to hospital and against all odds, the baby survives. He’s baptised by the hospital chaplain as Richard.

In the early 1960s, the head of a prominent New York City Child Development Center and a psychiatrist from Columbia University launched a study designed to track the development of twins and triplets given up for adoption and raised by different families. The controversial and disturbing catch? None of the adoptive parents had been told that they were raising a twin - the study's investigators insisted that the separation be kept secret.

Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive. Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns.

Healing isn't possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts—starting with adoption's central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren't the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents.

So, you want to help your child by therapeutic parenting, but how are YOU? This easy-to-follow, dip-in dip-out resource addresses common challenges and feelings experienced by therapeutic parents and offers 80 practical strategies to help you cope and survive. Best-selling parenting author Sarah Naish writes with humour and compassion, sharing her personal and professional experiences covering all of the essentials: self-maintenance, coping with isolation and rejection, scheduling holidays and, of course, the therapeutic importance of cake!

Have you ever considered adoption? Have you tried very hard to conceive and yet have not been blessed with children? Do you want more children, but your doctors tell you cannot physically have more? Are you a single who sincerely wants to adopt children for your own? Do you have adopted children now and are encountering challenges in raising them?

With empathy for adoptive parents, Chapman and Shaler provide an honest and invaluable resource of wisdom, joy, and healing. Apply the lessons from Loving Adopted Children Well, and you will see love grow and flourish in your home.

Dr. Susan Mossman Riva was adopted in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1963. In 1995, she sought the help of the Nebraska Children's Home to find her birthmother, leading to the discover of her birth family in 1996. Miraculously, her search and reunion coincided with her biologicals sister's search. The awe and joy of homecoming brought her to the realization that synchronicity acts as a guidepost, repairing relational brokenness. The divine timing of their reunion happened months before their biological, maternal grandmother died.