Showing results by narrator "Christopher Gebauer" in All Categories

Rex Dexter is cursed...with brains...and daring...and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders. After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a 2,000-pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it.

Stranded aliens seek out Earth's most intelligent species. (Hint: It's not us.) A bully discovers the meaning of "spatial displacement." Two girls find out why you should never annoy a witch. When a swarm of sneaking, slashing, scurrying ninja weenies invades their neighborhood, a boy and his best friend find a way to fight back. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way. Find out where David got the idea for each story at the end of the book. Don't be a weenie. Listen to these stories. If you dare!

Twelve-year-old Epic McDade isn't ready for middle school. He'd rather help out at his family's dog-friendly bed-and-breakfast all summer or return to his alternative elementary school in the fall, where learning feels safe. But change comes in all shapes and fur colors. When Carmelito, California, is named America's number one dog-friendly town, all the top dogs and their owners pour into Epic's sleepy seaside neighborhood for a week of celebration.

Clark can’t wait to go away to camp this year. For the first time ever, he has actual friends to hang out with. Catherine-Lucille and D. A. will both be at Camp I Can with Clark, and C. L. has already promised to induct him into her exclusive camp club - the one for campers who know everything there is to know about the world of Monsters and how Stuffies protect kids from them. And now that he knows (or suspects...very strongly) that his grandma-made Stuffy, Foon, heroically saved his own father from a horrible fate, Clark is obviously bringing Foon to camp along with him.

Critically acclaimed author and master of the macabre David Lubar is back with 30 more warped and creepy tales for fans of his best-selling Weenies story collections, which have sold more than 1.7 million copies to date.

A girl doesn't have a date for the school dance - until her dad makes one for her in his lab. "Lily - meet Stitchy." A family enjoys a nice Thanksgiving dinner - until they are interrupted by a torrent of turkeys out for revenge. A princess meets a pea-brained suitor. And the battle of two red hot pepper weenies ends in flames. Critically-acclaimed author and master of the macabre David Lubar returns from a journey into the darkest depths of his brain with 35 more warped and creepy tales.

In the second book of this FANGtastic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times best-selling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish chapter book series, an aspiring evil scientist and his mostly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten blast off to Evil Scientist Space Camp.

Max wishes he could go back in time to before he was diagnosed with ADHD, before he grew to be the tallest kid in his class, and before he and his best friends went into the woods in the middle of the night. Max doesn’t remember what happened after he left his friends Will and Joey and the older kids who took them there. He’s not sure if he wants to remember. Knowing isn’t going to make Joey talk to him again, or bring Will out of his coma.

The dark truth behind the Johnstown Flood of 1889 - one of the greatest calamities our country has ever experienced - is revealed in a beautiful, harrowing story, told in luminous verse.

Walter Tipple is looking for adventure. He keeps having a dream that his big brother, Tank, appears before him and says, “Let’s you and me go see my world, little man.” But Tank went to the army and never came home, and Walter doesn’t know how to see the world without him. Then he meets Posey, the brash new girl from next door, and an eccentric man named Banjo, who’s off on a bodacious adventure of his own. What follows is a summer of taking chances, becoming braver, and making friends.

Glow-in-the-dark footprints; eyewitness accounts of a ghost haunting school grounds - something doesn't add up! Ghosts don't have feet, do they? Either way, Jigsaw Jones and his partner Mila Yeh are on the case, and they'll do whatever it takes to solve this spooky new mystery...even if it means they have to be at school extra late!

Erin Craig "delivers" on a story about a new girl in town and the cute pizza delivery boy, Auriane Desombre captures our hearts with teens communicating through window signs, and Bill Konigsberg takes us along on daily walks with every step bringing us closer to love. There's flirting and romance from Rachael Lippincott, a tale of a determined girl with a mask-making business from Erin Hahn, and a music-inspired love connection from Sajni Patel. Brittney Morris turns enemies to lovers with the help of a balcony herb garden.

At Jonesville High, casual misogyny runs rampant, slut-shaming is a given, and school athletes are glorified above all else. Best friends Suze, Nikki, Ani, and Lydia swear they'll always have each other's backs against predatory guys - so when Suze suddenly starts dating wrestling star and toxic douchebag Tarkin Shaw, it's a big betrayal. Turns out, it's not a relationship - it's blackmail. At first, Suze feels like she has no choice but to go along with it, but when Tarkin starts demanding more, she enlists the help of intelligent misfits DeShawn and Marcus....

Reef and Theo don't know what's happening to them. They'll be going about their days and then suddenly they'll have these strange flashes of memory—but the memories don't belong to them. And at the same time, their own memories are starting to... vanish. For Reef, this is a big problem, because memories are all he has left of his mom. For Theo, it's strange because the new memories give him a freedom he doesn't have with his domineering dad.

Frank the cat has it good: Tons of toys, unlimited Whiskies™ and space and quiet to stretch and nap and think and write. Then his people bring home a box. A box with something unexpected inside. A puppy. A puppy who doesn’t know the rules of naps. A puppy who slobbers and tackles and barks. This won’t do. Frank will just have to find a better home. Should be easy, right?

Nine-year-old Willis Wilbur is beyond excited to go back to school. Now that he has discovered his destiny as a life coach, he's looking forward to signing on more clients (preferably human ones, not just guinea pigs).

HIS NAME IS REX DEXTER. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because Rex has bigger things on his mind.

Welcome to Barksdale, where all the dogs strive for perfection. Every shopkeeper claims to be the “best groomer” or sell the “best biscuits.” And at Barksdale Academy, the pressure is on for one pup to be named Best in Show. Duke’s cousin Coco, a French bulldog from Paris, is visiting for the K-2 loyalty exam. During this exam, the Underdogs and their classmates will participate in a field day event against a rival school.

If Austin picked a color to describe his life, it would be tumbleweed brown. Austin doesn't like standing out. He’s always the new kid, and there's no hiding his size. Plus, Austin has a secret: He struggles to read. Then Austin meets Bertie, who is razzmatazz. Everything about Bertie is bursting! But the best part of his newest school is the Safety Squad, with their laser lemon vests.

A 13-year-old girl seeks answers about her past in the fourth dimension - and beyond - in this think-outside-the-box adventure. What do you do when it turns out your whole life has been a lie? Jadie Martin was always told she was abandoned by her parents. Creatures from the fourth dimension rescued her and placed her with a loving adoptive family. Now, Jadie acts as an agent for the beings, also known as Seers. She uses the fourth dimension as a shortcut to travel anywhere on Earth, performing missions calculated to guide the world toward a brighter future.