Showing results by publisher "Tantor Audio" in Comedy & Humour

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward, but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, and battles to be fought. After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would-be tyrants. He wrote an easy-to-follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.

London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars, and Britain's caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all. A secret government coffee stockpile could save the day...but then mysteriously disappears overnight. One man is asked to unravel the missing-coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he's in desperate need of a triple espresso.

I've got my looks, my charm, and well, a smile that melts panties. My charm only gets me so far though. I don't even care when the courts finally give me a punishment for vandalizing the church property; in my defense, I didn't know it was a church. They've got me serving community service working at the local church's Salvation shelter. They think three months here will change me; that I will change my delinquent ways. If only they knew...nothing could ever tame me.

In "The Robot Who Looked Like Me," a busy man and a busy woman find a way to carve out time to romance each other—by having look-alike robots made to do the job—who then run away together.

Married . . . With Children writer-producer Richard Gurman takes us behind the scenes of this boundary-breaking show to reveal how its inner workings were at times as disruptive and contentious—yet at other times, as hysterical and raunchy—as the Bundy family themselves.

If John Gierach is living in a fool's paradise, then it's a paradise that his regular listeners will recognize and new fans will delight in discovering. Laced with the inimitable blend of wit and wisdom that have made him fly-fishing's foremost scribe, Fool's Paradise chronicles the fishing life in all its glory (catching your biggest fish ever) and squalor (being stranded in a tent during a soaking rainstorm). In Gierach's world, both experiences are valuable, and perhaps inevitable.

Captain Willard Phule is the only officer in the Space Legion with his own butler, but Beeker has stuck with him through thick and thin. Which is why Phule simply can't comprehend why his butler would run off-planet without a word - and take with him Omega Company's lovely new medic....

John Gierach demonstrates once again that fishing, when done right, is as much a philosophical pursuit as a sport. Gierach travels to Wyoming and Maine and points in between, searching out new fly-fishing adventures and savoring familiar waters with old friends. Along the way he meditates on the importance of good guides, the challenge of salmon fishing, and the zen of fishing alone. On a more serious note, he ponders the damaging effects of disasters both natural and man-made.

Dr. P. J. Miller is back! Following his first installment, Cute Poodles, Sweet Old Ladies & Hugs, he has compiled another volume of truly awesome veterinary tales. Come along for the ride again as Dr. Miller delivers stories that feature colorful clients, endearing pets, his own beloved bulldog, and a hurricane. All the sassy hospital staff that listeners came to love are back, including that special staff member who seems to work by her own particular standards of professionalism (you know the one).

It was just supposed to be one night. No kissing. No feelings. A wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am tangle in the sheets and we go our own ways. Only it's a small town, and I was bound to run into the irresistible Porter Jones again. I just didn't expect it to be at my job interview...which he's conducting.

When Ellison Russell, reluctant finder of bodies, chairs a gala in conjunction with the museum's Chinese funerary exhibit, she expects disaster. So, she's not remotely surprised when a body turns up. Ellison is willing to leave the investigation to the police till an attempt is made on her life. Now she's juggling evading a killer, her aunt's overly-amorous beau, her dog's new love interest, and Mother's displeasure. With bodies piling up, if Ellison's not careful, staying alive might be impossible.

After being attacked by a serial killer, being saved by Loki - so-called god of mischief, lies, and chaos - being dragged to Alfheim, losing every cent in her bank account, and caring for her grandmother, Amy Lewis has lost her scholarship to veterinary school. But it's all right. She has a plan. If she manages to keep her day job as a receptionist and her night job as a vet tech, she may be able to get her scholarship reinstated and save enough money for the dreaded "miscellaneous fees". Too bad her day boss is unbearable....

Martyrs to hypochondria and general seediness, J. and his friends George and Harris decide that a jaunt up the Thames would suit them just fine. But when they set off, they can hardly predict the troubles that lie ahead with tow-ropes, unreliable weather forecasts, and tins of pineapple chunks---not to mention the devastation left in the wake of J.'s small fox-terrier Montmorency.

With his inimitable combination of wit and wisdom, John Gierach once again celebrates the fly-fishing life in Standing in a River Waving a Stick and notes its benefits as a sport, philosophical pursuit, even therapy: "The solution to any problem-work, love, money, whatever-is to go fishing, and the worse the problem, the longer the trip should be." After all, fly-fishing does teach important life lessons, says Gierach-about solitude, patience, perspective, humor, and the sublime coffee break.

Necromancer trainee, bookseller, novel writer Ava Harper is settling into her new life with friends and her houseguests. And she definitely isn't thinking about a certain hunky sheriff who pops in unannounced at every turn. And mostly ignoring her devilish new neighbor, a lingering Christmas present from herself. She has bigger things to worry about. Like learning her newly woken powers. And convincing her house that she isn't selling it so it will stop scaring off any visitors.

Most of us don't actually understand quantum physics, and if we understood it we'd probably be rich and beautiful and happy, right? After all, there are plenty of people out there trying to sell you quantum crystals to align your quantum energy with your quantum destiny. Luckily, as pseudo-science takes over the internet and it's getting harder and harder to separate alternative facts from real science, Chris Ferrie (an actual quantum physicist!) is here to explain quantum physics in a way that makes sense, so you can see the hucksters and bullsh*tters coming from a mile away.

Whether you want to get moving, or keep moving, you need inspiration. Novice walkers and seasoned runners alike will find that inspiration, and so much more, in these stories written by those who know that the toughest step to take in any walk or run is the first. Beginning an athletic pursuit like running or walking for fitness takes a good deal of motivation, determination, and inspiration, all of which can be found in these 101 real-life stories.

Charles Dickens is known not only for his novels, but also for his short stories, particularly "A Christmas Carol." In the latter genre, interestingly, these stories had a powerful commercial impulse, for they were serialized in magazines at the Christmas season.

Two years after the events of Alien Night on Union Station, Kelly faces new challenges as the EarthCent Ambassador. The growing acceptance of humans by their alien neighbors plus a measure of her own personal fame (or infamy) is resulting in too much work for an embassy with only two full-time staffers. Friends and family must wonder if the stress is finally getting to Kelly when she starts acting even more peculiar than usual.

Kel Carpenter and Meg Anne present book three in the Grimm Brotherhood series.