Showing results by publisher "W. F. Howes Ltd" in Comedy & Humour

So how do I greet the New Millennium? In despair. I'm a single parent, I live with my mother...I have a bald spot the size of a jaffa cake on the back of my head...I can't go on like this, drifting into early middle-age. I need a Life Plan....

December, 1939. Having solved the case of the Suffolk Vampire, Inspector Betty Church and her colleagues at Sackwater Police Station have settled back down to business. There's the elderly Mr Fern, who keeps losing his slippers, Sylvia Satin's 13th birthday party to attend and the scintillating case of the missing bookmark to solve. Though peace and quiet are all well and good, Betty soon finds herself longing for some cold-blooded murder.

Meet Liz: all she wants is some peace and quiet so she can read a book with her cat Henry, love of her life, by her side. But trampling all over this dream is a group of wild things also known as Liz's family. Namely Richard - a man, a husband, no serious rival to Henry; Thomas - their sensitive seven-year-old son, for whom life is a bed of pain already; and Evie - five-year-old acrobat, gangster, anarchist, daughter. And as if her family's demands weren't enough, Liz must also contend with the madness of parents, friends, bosses and at least one hovering nemesis.

Peyote Trip has a pretty good gig in the deals department on the fifth floor of Hell. Sure, none of the pens work, the coffee machine has been out of order for a century, and the only drink on offer is Jagermeister, but Pey has a plan—and all he needs is one last member of the Harrison family to sell their soul. When the Harrisons retreat to the family lake house for the summer, with their daughter Mickey's precocious new friend Ruth in tow, the opportunity Pey has waited a millennium for might finally be in his grasp.

Adrian Mole is thirty, single and a father. His cooking at a top London restaurant has been equally mocked ('the sausage on my plate could have been a turd') and celebrated (will he be the nation's first celebrity offal chef?) And the love of his life, Pandora Braithwaite, is too busy as the newly elected MP for Ashby-de-la-Zouch to notice him. Frustrated, disappointed, and undersexed, Adrian despairs until a letter from his past changes everything.

Faiza has always wanted to fit in. She has her banker husband, three beautiful children and gorgeous house in a sought-after corner of London, but behind the expensive clothes, make-up and furniture lies a big secret. Faiza has been dipping into the family savings account in her attempt to belong, promising herself that one day she'll put the money back. Now Faiza has six weeks to put it all back before her husband or her friends notice she is penniless.

Anuri's stepmother, Ophelia, is the ultimate 'mumfluencer'. Throughout Anuri's childhood, she catalogued every minute, milestone and carefully curated family outing on social media, cultivating a devoted—and sizable—following. Now twenty-five years old, life looks pretty perfect on the outside. Ophelia's fans could be forgiven for wondering why Anuri spends much of her time insulting men online for money, battling the call of alcohol, running from a PhD application, and reminding herself that she is now allowed to choose her own outfits.

Responsible for cleaning the homes of the rich, Mrs. Harris is a humble charlady with a knack for putting things in order wherever she goes. When, much to her surprise, she wins a trip for two beyond the Iron Curtain, she has no idea of the adventure that lies ahead of her. Ever the loyal servant, Mrs. Harris (accompanied by her friend Mrs. Butterfield) believes it only right that others benefit from her fortune as well. With a mink coat in mind for Mrs. Butterfield, she also hopes to use their 'oliday to reignite a lost romance between her employer and a Russian woman he had loved years ago.

Tommo has just started at a new school—a training ground for the Scottish elite—when his friend Johnnie's brother is found dead in a Land Rover on a Highland farm. There's a shotgun at his feet. Nobody seems clear about what has happened, least of all Tommo. A child of the middle class, and with new independence thrust upon him, Tommo finds himself invited into fading crumbling houses. It's the early nineties and this elite is struggling for relevance. Alienated from the mainstream, and running low on inherited wealth, his peers have retreated into snobbery and fatalism.

He was perfect. Denim blue eyes, a dazzling smile. And he hadn’t sent me a picture of his junk. Which is about as rare, these days, as a dodo. When Sloane met Myles, everything fell into place. He loved a martini almost as much as she did, shared her passion for four-cheese pizzas, and made her laugh harder than any episode of Friends. She’d found 'The One' at last, and she could finally delete Tinder, forgetting all those waste-of-space men she’d never have to date again. But then she finds out that Myles has a secret. A very big one.

Lauren, who changes the man in her bed even more often than she changes course, is dating Victor but sleeping with Sean. Sean - cool, ambivalent and deeply cynical - might be in love with Lauren, but he’s not going to let that stop him from bedding Paul. Paul, as shrewd as he is passionate, is Lauren’s ex-lover and the final point in this curious triangle. From the author of American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis' The Rules of Attraction is a breathtaking tale of sex, expectation, desire and frustration.

When the celebrated crime writer Agatha Crispy engages Hettie and Tilly in the search for a stolen manuscript, our feline detective duo is plunged into a world of Dickensian thieves and murderers. Does the ghost of Jake the Nipper prowl the London Streets of Kitzrovia? Will Madame Two Paws’s exhibition wax or wane? And will the secrets in the crypt of the church of St Mavis and Cucumber finally be revealed? Join Hettie and Tilly as they attempt to unravel yet another darkly humorous case for The No. 2 Feline Detective Agency.

Teenager Vernon Gregory Little's life has been changed by the Columbine-style slaughter of a group of students at his high school. Soon his hole-in-the-wall town is blanketed under a media siege, and Vernon finds himself blamed for the killing. Eulalio Ledesma is his particular nemesis, manipulating things so that Vernon becomes the fulcrum for the bizarre and vengeful impulses of the townspeople of Martirio.

Fetherhoughton is a dreary town in 1950s northern England. Father Angwin has lost his faith. Sister Philomena strains against convent life. The inhabitants of the town go about their lives in a haze. Then a stranger appears, bringing with him the hint of something new. But who is Fludd? An angel come to shake the dwellers from their stupor, or is he the devil himself, a wanderer of the darkest places in the human heart?

He became a best-selling novelist while still in college, immediately famous and wealthy. He watched his insufferable father reduced to a bag of ashes in a safety-deposit box. He was lost in a haze of booze, drugs and vilification. Then he was given a second chance. This is the life of Bret Easton Ellis, the author and subject of this remarkable novel. Confounding one expectation after another, Lunar Park is equally hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking. It’s the most original novel of an extraordinary career - and best of all: it all happened, every word is true.

Having been married for over 40 years, 69-year-old Arthur Pepper is mourning the loss of his wife. He finally musters the courage to go through her possessions and happens upon a charm bracelet that he has never seen before. What follows is a surprising adventure that takes Arthur on an epic quest to find out the truth about his wife’s life - a journey that leads him to find healing, self-discovery, and love in the most unexpected of places.

Latticing one cherry pie after another, an Ohio housewife tries to bridge the gaps between reality and the torrent of meaningless info that is the United States of America. She worries about her children, her dead parents, African elephants, the bedroom rituals of happy couples, Weapons of Mass Destruction and how to hatch an abandoned wood pigeon egg. A scorching indictment of America's barbarity, past and present, and a lament for the way we are sleepwalking into environmental disaster - a heresy, a wonder - and a revolution in the novel.

It’s the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every disease or cause, there’s a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally) and be seen. But when a prominent high-society dowager suddenly vanishes during a swanky gala and is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. Kiki Pew was notable not just for her wealth and her jewels - she was an ardent fan of the winter White House resident just down the road and a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting their president.

Slide "Further Under the Duvet", get yourself comfortable, and let Marian take you places you've never been before. Places like the Irish air-guitar championships, a shopping trip to Bloomingdales with a difference, and Cannes with a chronic case of Villa-itis. Along the way you'll encounter knicker-politics, fake tans, sticky-out ears and passionate love affairs both with make-up and Toblerones.

No other woman has had so many online romances–from Keanu Reeves to Brad Pitt to Prince William–and Becky Holmes is a favorite among peacekeeping soldiers and oil rig workers who desperately need iTunes vouchers. By winding up scammers and investigating the truth behind their profiles, Becky shines a revealing, revolting and hilarious light on a very shady corner of the internet.