Showing results by publisher "Hachette Audio" in Comedy & Humour

America's most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, Simple Times, she sets the record straight. Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.

All through college, Blanche Carter was known as the love doctor in her sorority. Now she's parlayed her talent into a unique consulting business: she runs the Online dating profiles of Washington D.C.'s most eligible women. Armed with a battalion of rules, Blanche expertly helps her clients optimize their profiles and ace that first date. But although she'll happily message handsome strangers (and fend off dick pics) for other ladies, Blanche's most important rule is the one she has for herself: no relationships. She's seen too much heartbreak to believe in real love anymore.

Willie Shakespeare Greenberg is not living up to his name. It's 1986, and instead of finishing his thesis on the Bard, this grad student is saying "yes" to drugs, bedding coeds, and delivering a giant psychedelic mushroom to a mysterious collector. Meanwhile (or rather, back in 1582), would-be playwright William Shakespeare is an 18-year-old Latin teacher whose world is turned upside down when a stranger entrusts him with a sacred relic from Rome.

Highly awkward teenager Stanley Owens meets his match in beautiful, brainy Vera Baxter when they tie for first place in the annual national spelling bee - and the two form a bond that will change both of their lives. Though their mothers have big plans for them - Stanley will become a senator, Vera a mathematics professor - neither wants to follow these predetermined paths. So Stanley hatches a scheme to marry Vera in a sham wedding for the cash gifts, hoping they will enable him to pursue his one true love: crossword puzzle construction.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

When Quaker Pastor Sam Gardner is asked by the ill Unitarian minister to oversee a wedding in his place, Sam naturally agrees. It's not until the couple stands before him that he realizes they're two women.

When the top editor at a rival publishing house calls her with a job offer - complete with a promotion and three times her current salary - Claire Truman believes she's getting everything she's ever wanted. But be careful what you wish for. Vivian Grant, her new boss, is even worse than the industry gossip led her to believe.

For fans of the beloved TV show Little House on the Prairie, a self-help audiobook by Melissa Francis, best-selling author of Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter and child star of Little House on the Prairie, revealing important life lessons inspired by a childhood on set. Melissa Francis was only eight years old when she won the role of a lifetime: Playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls on the world's most famous prime-time soap opera, Little House on the Prairie.

Nicknamed after the gas mask he and his fellow soldiers will wear as they fight in the Persian Gulf War, Aardvark is a tactical jet crewman headed for combat in this dark comedy. He recounts the days before he is called to fight and the carrier's progress toward its destination in blistering prose. The war is really happening on TV, and everyone on the ship is tuned to CNN. Aardvark wanders the ship with video camera in hand, filming the rule-bound officers, musclehead bunkmates, and porn entrepreneurs in an attempt to tune out reality. But as the ship nears its destination, he is forced to face his growing fears and sense of alienation.

Someday a bird will poop on all of us. But that's okay. In a world of bad news, fake news, delays, disappointments, trash talk, and tweets, things are bound to get a little poopy. What matters is not how big the mess is - but how well you react to it. Someday a Bird Will Poop on You is a modern parable about life hitting us with something unexpected - and the perfect gift for anyone leaving home without an umbrella.

Has your life ever flipped? The challenge is to not become a flop! Strap on your sandals and let Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops deliver joy and laughter in the midst of everyday mess-ups. Professional Southern humorist and award-winning author Jane Jenkins Herlong uses humor, wisdom, and life stories from iconic biblical women to guide you through the inevitable blunders of life.

Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League - universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education - have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate?

Dana Perino is a popular and beloved host on Fox's The Five, with over two million followers on social media. While listeners admire Dana for her charm, warmth, and insight, she also knows who the real star in her family is: her vizsla, Jasper - aka America's Dog. In this new audiobook, Dana tells stories about life and politics and how dogs can transcend rancor and partisanship. She also talks about how dogs bring families together - like Dana's own, from her career in Washington through her life as a TV star.

Well, now you've gone and done it, America. You've elected Donald K. Trump president, and the US will never again be the same! The problem for all of us is that he's got plans - lots of them. The list reads like a bad acid trip: nominating Bernie Madoff for secretary of the Treasury; "Trumpifying" the Constitution; making personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of one of America's great news magazines - to name just a few.

In Good Talk, Dad, this talented father-son team shares stories of their funny and heartwarming relationship. Told in a unique back-and-forth banter style, this extended conversation riffs on everything from music and sports to summer camp, driving lessons, and family life. Imagine Big Russ & Me meets Sh*t My Dad Says. After Bill went public with his struggle with Parkinsons disease, the Geists decided to collaborate on this book so their children and grandchildren would have a record of their unique bond.

Nobody needs advice, but everybody wants it. Conversely, everybody wants to give advice but we need to. It's in our blood...because we're stoned. That's the point. And what better way to legitimize two stoned people's need to babble advice than with a book? Allow us to introduce ourselves: We're Tracie and Rich. We go way back. We host an Internet video series in which we answer viewer-submitted questions, solving their problems with the help of an herbal remedy. Basically we get stoned and tell people how to live their lives. At this point, we want to get higher, and take things to the next level....

Known to millions as an Emmy Award-winning CBS News commentator, Bill Geist may possibly be the last American male to take up golf. In this memoir of a golfer wannabe, he competes in the Bad Golfers Association Tournament - and loses. Golfers and non-golfers alike will be laughing every step of the fairway.

Sex. Money. International terrorism. And, of course, the ultimate question- Can a compact backswing save the world? A clubhouseful of acclaimed authors pass the baton (or at least the six-iron) to creat an ensemble tour de force of suspense, romance, and hilarity on the links. Golf is not a team sport. But who says fiction can't be? Get ready....

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.