Showing titles in Humorous

It is tricky enough being in the first freshmen class of humans in a post-intergraded galactic military high school, but Karel must work to push past cultural prejudice (others, as well as her own) in order to solve the attempted assassination of her new principal. And there is a space dog. Because space dogs are awesome. No, you stop making up sci-fi animals!

Jane is the only person left on the planet, minding the only business left: a gift shop. She wasn’t born on Earth, but her ancestors were; they lived there before the AI in charge of geoengineering failed and the oceans got too hot to sustain the terrestrial food web and before humans took off to colonize other planets. She’s heading to college on Jupiter in the fall of 3020, so her days on the home planet—selling “American Epoch” postcards, “History: The Poster!” and “War: The Soundtrack” to tourists from the suburbs of Europa—are numbered.

Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

Decades ago, Masha hid under a table and watched her parents die. Now, with war in the streets and chaos in the government, she can at last put the ultimate piece of her revenge into action. But it will involve murder, deception, and cunning on an unprecedented scale, and she's no longer as certain as she once was that she can pull this off. In the meantime, behind the barricades, the rest of the crew is trying desperately to survive as the Svodrani System government brings its full weight to bear. And surviving a war against the entire System might be a step too far, even for them.…

The Pan of Hamgee, starving outlaw, bumps into Big Merv: the meanest, scariest gangster in the City, and without thinking what he is doing, steals his wallet. When Big Merv realises what has happened our hero's future looks short. Will he talk his way out of it or will he be "recycled" into a stanchion of the Outer Ring Road extension?

It’s been three years since Esa left her backwater planet to join the ranks of the Justified. Together, she and fellow agent Jane Kamali have been traveling across the known universe, searching for children who share Esa’s supernatural gifts. On a visit to a particularly remote planet, they learn that they’re not the only ones searching for gifted children. They find themselves on the tail of a mysterious being with impossible powers who will stop at nothing to get his hands on the very children that Esa and Jane are trying to save.

Santa Claus just saved Christmas, so why are there dozens of prehistoric nightmares ravaging the streets of Moscow on Christmas Day? With his reindeer team restored and Snoot at his side once again, Santa springs into action, only to find a nefarious force eager to destroy not only Christmas but also the entire human race. As the Lord of Time and Space, the Time Raptor has inherited cosmic powers far beyond his control. Recognizing the evils mankind has perpetrated upon the Earth, the Time Raptor knows he must act to save the planet from its modern-day menace: humanity.

Pandora Lynch lives in Alaska with her single dad, an online therapist for Silicon Valley's brightest and squirreliest. Homeschooled by computer and a self-taught hacker, Pandora is about to enter high school to learn how to be normal. That's the plan at least. NorCal runaway George Jedson is a hacker too - one who leaves the systems he attacks working better than before. After being scooped up by a social media giant, will George go legit - or pull off the biggest hack ever? Not even his therapist knows for sure, but maybe the headshrinker's daughter....

Fool's Play is the first book in a new series in the System Apocalypse universe. Written by David R. Packer in Tao Wong's bestselling post-apocalyptic LitRPG universe, System Apocalypse: Kismet follows a different path through a post-apocalyptic world, one of hope, redemption, and second chances.

On an alien moon a showdown is unfolding between a giant space slug that's heading towards a planet to destroy it, and a military group readying to defend their home world. A small fluffy dog runs through the night intent on regaining its previous life, and a pizza delivery man leaves his shift hoping to attend a university party. All of these events interconnect as sinister forces maneuver themselves in the background waiting to strike.

As in the original novel, the story follows two relationships: the tragic adulterous romance of Anna Karenina and Count Alexei Vronsky, and the much more hopeful marriage of Nikolai Levin and Kitty Shcherbatskaya. These four, yearning for true love, live in a steampunk-inspired 19th century of mechanical butlers, extraterrestrial-worshiping cults, and airborne debutante balls.

Madeleine „Max“ Maxwell wollte Archäologin werden, um Abenteuer zu erleben, unfassbare Entdeckungen zu machen und gelegentlich die Welt zu retten. Doch die Wirklichkeit holt sie ein: Archäologen verbringen ihre Zeit in Museen zwischen staubigen Büchern und noch staubigeren Fundstücken, die niemanden interessieren. Da erhält sie ein besonderes Jobangebot. Wenn sie die Zusatzausbildung übersteht – und die wenigsten tun das – wird sie Abenteuer erleben, die jene von Indiana Jones wie einen Sonntagsspaziergang aussehen lassen. Und wenn sie überlebt, wird sie wenigstens ein paar Mal die Welt retten.

The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he’s not even sure he knows the questions. He has a chance to go straight but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year’s amnesty for all misdemeanors while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has left him for his nemesis, Lord Vernon. The Pan doesn’t have a year, either. In only five days Lord Vernon will gain total power and destroy K'Barth. Unless The Pan can stop him.

As I grapple with the weight of responsibility as the captain of a formidable dreadnought, I'm thrust headlong into a relentless battle for the survival of the last vestiges of civilization. The number of beautiful women I care for has grown, as has the number of my children, and their safety has become my unwavering priority. To protect them and ensure a brighter future, I must confront ruthless alien mutants and savage space pirates, odds that seem insurmountable.

Kill-crazy mercenaries, gargantuan monstrosities, and a "sixth sense" that may be a death wish in disguise. Augie Brunthouse's first day of work is not going well. It all started with Chuck Vestiglio's exile and subsequent suicide on his private island, derisively dubbed "Supersize Island" by the press. Now the disgraced hamburger baron's unhinged son has vowed to silence the family's critics with a psychotic plot to grow beef better. Alas, his wildly illegal biotech experiments have gone wrong in a very BIG way. Somebody needs to look into it.

When Vanti and O'Neill graduated at the top of their academy class, they thought they'd get their dream assignments. Instead they end up in security on Station Kelly-Kornienko. Sure, the station if glitzy, but they're basically well-dressed security guards.

Isaac Asimov wrote "The Magnificent Possession" early in his career. This is one of the few humorous stories that Asimov created.

Dive into the most ridiculous adventure this side of the Milky Way! In a universe where reality twists and the absurd rules, a clueless crew embarks on a cosmic joyride to explore life, the universe, and everything in between. Meet the travelers: an alien thrilled to have landed on Earth (accidentally), his ship—an AI-infused jokester that insists it’s the galaxy’s funniest comedian; a logical budgie convinced life is a musical; and a curious android eager to experience it all.

The housing market is depressed. But not as depressed as anyone who spends a night at 668 Langford Place. The decaying mansion next door - number 666 - will soon see the return of Bog-Muggoth, an ancient, evil demon that makes the Amityville Horror seem like Casper the Friendly Ghost. But Bog-Muggoth isn’t making his haunted house call alone. Other vile gods from beyond time and space will be joining in the festivities to make the world their oyster - and leave it an empty shell.

Beautiful. Magnificent. Indestructible. These are the plaudits given to the luxury space liner as it sets forth on its maiden voyage to distant vacation planets. Onboard, far below the decks of the rich and famous, is an unhappy, forlorn janitor named Chuck who mops and sweeps and dreams of, one day, becoming a captain and piloting a great spaceship such as this.

All Mr. Taffle wants to do is be crowned the Mighty Warlord of his high tech sales cult. But there’s two things standing in his way: He sucks at almost everything and has a putrid sense of fashion. So, when he buys a pair of leather pants, them turning out to be insane isn’t all that shocking. Not only does his pants hypnotically attract the most bizarre characters that cross their path, but they also act as a magnet that pulls whoever is wearing them to the most bizarre place on Earth.

When the universe throws him a curveball, Bevil Cyrex finds himself adrift in space on a ship determined to kill him. But then, in a stroke of luck, he stumbles across an ancient and abandoned space station called The Starlite. Once he is on board the station, Bevil soon finds himself befriending a nanite swarm that takes on the appearance and mannerisms of his grandmother.

Maryn Alessi retired from mercenary service after her last assignment went horribly sideways and settled down on a quiet planet with the love of her life. Unexpectedly widowed, Maryn must fulfill a promise to return her mate’s ashes to zer home planet for funeral rites, but a brutal civil war has destabilized space travel.

It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday. But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, he is tapped by the president for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it. The problem is - Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.

One day Tam is waitressing at a neighborhood tavern and taking community college classes in firefighting. The next… Well, months later when she finally gets her sight and hearing back, after waking up in a hospital… She’s living on a county-sized space station, one of the few humans in a community made up of giant, sapient lizards and birds.

Maurice "Moss" Foote is down to his last hundred credits, which he needs to get his old ship back and start over. Again. But then, Moss is so familiar with rock bottom he has his mail forwarded there. Hel was born a slave, or maybe she wasn't. It's confusing, just like the compulsion that keeps her building... something. When she sees an opportunity to escape aboard a ship, she takes it, not realizing the trouble she's in for.

Bran was one of the first to purchase a full immersion Virtual Reality Pod that he calls the Coffin, but over a century later, ironically, he finds himself part of the one percent that does not live virtually. He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work, and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar.

A private detective is hired by a mysterious woman to find a man. The quarry? An obscure author of pulp fiction novels featuring one Osama Bin Laden: vigilante. Our detective pursues his quarry from the backwaters of Asia to the Capitals of Europe, the New World and into a realm of shadows. Here he finds the refugees, ghostly entities haunting reality. Where do they come from? And what do they want?

Maxine Justice is an ambulance-chasing lawyer desperate for relevance and cash when aliens hire her to represent them before the United Nations. An off-planet consortium wants to heal humanity of every natural disease in exchange for 30% of Earth’s gold reserves. The deal launches Max to legal stardom and makes her an international target for assassins. MediCorp, Star Cross, PharFuture - the big medical companies all have good reasons to want Max out of the way. Worse, she discovers her alien clients may be planning something more sinister than anyone has imagined.

Probably the only thing worse than finding out that nothing you know is real, is finding out that you are also not real. Well, that's how Sanjiv's day started, it did not get much better after that, truth be told.

Nicht einmal die Möglichkeit, durch die Zeit zu reisen, bewahrt Madeleine "Max" Maxwell vor Déjà-vus. Und so rennt sie schon wieder um ihr Leben – diesmal verfolgt von Jack the Ripper. Es wird nicht das letzte Mal sein. Ihre Mission führt sie über die hängenden Gärten von Ninive und den Mord an Thomas Becket bis zu einer außerplanmäßigen Dodo-Rettungsmission. Diesmal geht es nicht nur um den Schutz der ganzen Menschheit, sondern um das Bewahren der Zeit selbst – und dabei wird Max vom Chaos verfolgt, wann sie sich auch befindet.

Depois de oito anos vagando pelos mais insondáveis cantos da Galáxia, Arthur Dent está de volta à Terra e tudo parece estranhamente normal. Todas as coisas estão em seus devidos lugares–sua casa, seu emprego, seu planeta–e é justamente por isso que ele começa a desconfiar de que ou ficou completamente maluco e tudo não passou de uma grande alucinação ou algo de muito mais estranho do que viagens espaciais a bordo de naves alienígenas poderia estar acontecendo.

It’s a miracle. The fountain of youth discovered flowing through the veins of postmillennials. In idyllic planned communities, freed from adulting and student loans, the young can live in guilt-free organic luxury. All it costs them is a weekly blood donation to extend the lives of their privileged elders. But prices are going up. There’s much more to the utopian Sunset Consortium than anyone realizes in this chilling trilogy.

You don’t have to eat food to know the way to a city’s heart is through its stomach. So when a group of deactivated robots come back online in an abandoned ghost kitchen, they decide to make their own way doing what they know: making food—the tastiest hand-pulled noodles around—for the humans of San Francisco, who are recovering from a devastating war. But when their robot-run business starts causing a stir, a targeted wave of one-star reviews threatens to boil over into a crisis.