Showing results by publisher "Tantor Audio" in Dark Humour

Thrift fashionista Dez Lane doesn't want to date Patrick Ruskin; she just wants to meet his mother, the editor-in-chief of Nouveau magazine. When he invites her to his family's big Easter reunion at their ancestral home, she's certain she can put up with his arrogance and fend off his advances long enough to ask Marie Caulfield-Ruskin for an internship someone with her pedigree could never nab through the regular submission route. But once all the family members are on the island and the ferry has departed, things take a dark turn.

Chief Inspector Brian Hooley has a plan, and it won't make him popular. He wants to bring back autistic detective Jonathan Roper. Currently suspended on misconduct charges, his condition, coupled with a relentless work ethic, makes Roper a unique investigator with observational skills that allow him to see what others miss. But he is also a complex man who doesn't get social boundaries, and plenty of his colleagues just don't like him. Hooley doesn't care about that. He knows Roper is the one to make a difference.

Monster hunter and mechanic Mark Wojcik has his hands full protecting innocent monsters from horrible people and innocent people from horrible monsters. His corner of rural Pennsylvania used to be relatively quiet—except for the ghosts, trolls, gnomes, and snallygasters. Then the Mob wars between the vampires and werewolves spilled over from the big city, along with supernatural bounty hunters, necromancer narcos, a monster trafficking ring, paranormal bookies, warring secret government agencies, and wicked witches.

The orcs are thirsty. And so are Captain Frank Gerber's swords, but apparently, you can't murder your customers. Stuck with a nightclub after a job gone wrong, Frank has to figure out how to rebuild something he never even wanted. That's just the first of his problems. Frank's blades will have a taste of blood again, but first, he has to party with orcs, barter with gnomes, drink with dwarves, and make shady deals with the scum of Sankta Varath, the greatest city in all of Steelheart Kingdom. And that's just the first week.

A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world's worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they've got it. Want in? All you've got to do is accept ocular implants that let the whole world see life through your eyes, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fortunately, there's still one person who hasn't lost faith in all humanity. The show's ever-smiling host is determined to wring some tiny bit of meaning out of this twisted competition and your unhappy existence.

From John G. Hartness comes a must-listen collection of four Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novellas: She Talks to Angels, Shout at the Devil, Angel of Harlem, and Sympathy for the Devil. She Talks to Angels: In the fifth part of the Quincy Harker crossover series, Gabby helps hunt down a rogue archangel in St. Louis, learning more about herself, about history, and about that cute doctor's son than she expected.

Cassie Wright, porn priestess, intends to cap her legendary career by breaking the world record for serial fornication. On camera. With 600 men. Snuff unfolds from the perspectives of Mr. 72, Mr. 137, and Mr. 600, who await their turn on camera in a very crowded green room.

Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles.... Shingles Audio Collection Volume 2 begins with "Terror on Hypo Beach", in which a family vacation turns out to be anything but ordinary. In "Put Your Hand in My Ass", Will needs a mentor for the upcoming high school talent show. What he gets is Sloppy - an enchanted puppet with weird sexual proclivities and an extremely problematic approach to comedy.

"Stranger's Thing" by Robert Bevan: Four friends get more than they bargained for when they break into a seemingly abandoned research lab. "The Shingling" by Steve Wetherell: Johnny Terry, a recovering meth addict, is excited to start his new life as the caretaker at the Underpass Motel. Unfortunately, the Underpass is haunted by the ghosts of dead porn stars. "The Haunting of Whore House" by Robert Bevan: Lucy and her brother, Junkie, find out that moving was only the beginning of their troubles when they encounter the ghost of a little boy in the woods. Plus three more!

In this gloriously over-the-top tale, Aoyama, a widower who has lived alone with his son ever since his wife died seven years before, finally decides it is time to remarry. Since Aoyama is a bit rusty when it comes to dating, a filmmaker friend proposes that, in order to attract the perfect wife, they do a casting call for a movie they don't intend to produce. As the resumes pile up, only one of the applicants catches Aoyama's attention - Yamasaki Asami - a striking young former ballerina with a mysterious past. But she is a far cry from the innocent young woman he imagines her to be.

Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.

Squid Match: More than a mere tale of horror and carnage, this story is a powerful study in class struggles and inequality. Some Body to Love: Join Sally as she embarks on a quest to get chlamydia while helping her classmate's father secure a corpse in time for his sex doll convention . . . and maybe find love along the way. The Lepercorn: Lucy and her father are just like any working-class family trying to make an honest living scamming blind people out of hot dogs. But their lives are turned upside down when a small misunderstanding manifests as a grotesque abomination.

Life doesn't pick winners and losers. That's for the corporations to decide. And they picked Liam Argyle for a carefree life of fame and fortune as host of the world's most popular reality show competition. After two seasons of parading about the world's biggest victims on The Grass Is Greener, he's been forced to put a happy face on one tragedy too many - and he won't turn a blind eye to the horrors of the corporate dystopian world of the 2070s any longer. Now, Liam is out to destroy the very people who made him a star.

Tom McCaffrey presents book three in the Claire Trilogy.

Ever wondered what it's like to be born into a family of assassins? Gin Bombay knows, and now she's sharing her family's deepest, darkest secrets. The Bombay Family Bedtime Stories continue with My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen! Four more family stories have been released from the vault, including Rio Bombay, wanna-be cowboy and wild west gunslinger; Caspian, the first Bombay to have to take out another Bombay; Aberdeen, the hoop-skirted Antebellum Assassin; and Dublin Bombay, the Scottish Viking Slayer! History is at its most hilarious as this darkly funny family tells all.

The Bombay Family of Assassins have hung up their gun belts, vials of undetectable poisons, and throwing knives for good. Or have they? The kids of the newest generation have itchy trigger fingers and an opportunity pops up that's too good to refuse.

It is the summer of 1914. As the world teeters on the brink of the Great War, a callow American painter, Francis Wyndham, arrives at a renowned European insane asylum, where he begins offering art therapy under the auspices of Alessandro Caligari - sinister psychiatrist, maniacal artist, alleged sorcerer. And determined to turn the impending cataclysm to his financial advantage, Dr. Caligari will - for a price - allow governments to parade their troops past his masterpiece: a painting so mesmerizing it can incite entire regiments to rush headlong into battle.

A magical imagining of the fate of a fictional boy whose life is shaped forever when he loses out on the role of Harry Potter.