Showing results by publisher "Tantor Audio" in Humor

Willy and Peter need to get as far as possible from their sister's dumb kindergarten pageant. But they never expected to blast their butts into space! There they make a disgusting discovery that could wipe out the moon in one gross stink bomb. Do they have enough gas in their guts to repel gassy green aliens from Uranus? Can farts alone rocket them back to earth? And how did their sister's hamster get into the space capsule and chew up all the wires?

Middle school is hard. Solving cases for the FBI is even harder. Doing both at the same time - well, that's just crazy. But that doesn't stop Florian Bates! Get to know the only kid on the FBI director's speed dial - and several international criminals' most wanted lists - in this adventurous series that School Library Journal says combines "elements of Alex Rider, James Bond, and Sherlock Holmes".

How much do you know about farts? Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That women's farts smell worse than men's? Pfwoort! It's all in this book. Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? Blorrrk! It's all in this book.

Florian is 12 years old and has just moved to Washington. He's learning his way around using TOAST, which stands for the Theory of All Small Things. It's a technique he invented to solve life's little mysteries. But when he teaches it to his new friend Margaret, they uncover a mystery that isn't little. In fact, it's huge, and it involves the National Gallery, the FBI, and a notorious crime syndicate known as EEL. Can Florian decipher the clues and finish his homework in time to help the FBI solve the case?

The audio edition of the best-selling middle grade novel about a spunky girl born without arms and a boy with Tourette syndrome navigating the challenges of middle school, disability, and friendship - all while solving a mystery in a western theme park. Aven Green loves to tell people that she lost her arms in an alligator wrestling match, or a wildfire in Tanzania, but the truth is that she was born without them.

It all started with a peanut butter cup...which leads Ben Braver to a secret school for kids with super abilities. Ben has never had any special powers - and maybe never will. But could this be his chance to become the superhero he's always dreamed of? The Super Life of Ben Braver is the first book in a hilarious adventure series about the greatness that lies within any middle schooler who dreams big from Marcus Emerson, the author of the smash hit Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja series.

When the baddest of bad guys threatens the world with a giant black hole, Ben Braver is the only one who can stop it. Ready or not, he's about to learn what it really means to be a hero.

Tristan isn't gifted or talented like his sister Jeanine, and he's always been okay with that because he can make a perfect chocolate chip cookie and he lives in the greatest city in the world. But his life takes a turn for the worse when his parents decide to move to middle-of-nowhere Petersville - a town with one street and no restaurants. His suspicions about his new town are confirmed when he's tricked into believing the local general store has life-changing chocolate cream doughnuts, when in fact the owner hasn't made them in years.

Middle school is hard. Solving cases for the FBI is even harder. Doing both at the same time - well that's just crazy. But that doesn't stop Florian Bates! After helping the FBI solve an art theft at the National Gallery and uncovering a DC spy ring, Florian's finding life at Alice Deal Middle School a little boring. But that's all about to change! His FBI handler, Marcus, has a job for him! Is it a bank robbery? Counterfeit ring? International espionage? Actually it's middle school pranks...

Rudolph the little vampire has been banished from his family's vault over his association with humans. He now lives in the basement of the apartment building where his human best friend Tony lives. The two struggle to keep Rudolph hidden from Tony's parents and nosy neighbors. When someone gets suspicious about activity in the basement, can the friends avoid discovery?

Middle school is hard. Solving cases for the FBI is even harder. Doing both at the same time, well that's just crazy. But that doesn't stop Florian Bates! Along with his best friend, and Watson to his Sherlock, Margaret, Florian's making the case that kids can do anything. When Florian and Margaret's FBI supervisor, Marcus Rivers, is accused of a crime, it's up to this mystery-solving duo to jump into action and clear his name because Marcus is more than their boss - he's family.

There have always been some pretty weird grownups in Bailey City, but the new custodian at the Bailey School is one of a kind. When he appears out of nowhere just before Christmas to help out at the school, Mr. Jolly's white hair and beard and longing for cold temperatures bring the fabled St. Nick to everyone's mind. Could this man really be Santa Claus? The Bailey School Kids are going to find out!

The new director at Camp Lone Wolf seems like a nice guy. But when the kids learn the legend of a local boy who disappeared and the wolf that prowls the campgrounds howling in the night, they start to wonder if Camp Lone Wolf is more than just a name. Mr. Jenkins is covered in hair, eats his meat almost raw, and has an obsession with wolves. But could he really be a werewolf?

Eddie's great aunt Mathilda is sick and he has to help take care of her. But when Eddie and his friends visit Mathilda's house, strange things start to happen. Howie sees someone staring at him from the attic window and, when his back is turned, his garlic potato chips are used to spell the word attic on the ground. During later visits, the kids hear noises from the attic, but Great Aunt Mathilda swears there's nothing up there.

Melody is certain that her new basketball coach, Mr. O'Grady, is a leprechaun. Bailey School Elementary's new gym teacher is short, and Irish, and carries a bag filled with special stones. Soon, Melody and the other children are keeping an eye on him. When will they get lucky and catch a leprechaun?

When the art teacher disappears after a strange display of flashing lights, it looks like Bailey Elementary is in a bind. But out of nowhere a mysterious and pale woman with silver-white hair and an unusual white outfit shows up to take her place. Soon after her arrival the objects of Bailey City start to lose their color, but the new teacher seems to be getting more colorful every day. Can the Bailey School kids stop Bailey City from being washed out before it's too late?

Ever since Eugene became their new neighbor, the third graders at Bailey Elementary School get everything they wish for. This all seems great . . . until their lives start to turn upside down.

When his parents plan a vacation to a farm, Tony and his friend Rudolph the little vampire hatch a plan for Rudolph to come along to keep Tony company. Rudolph needs to have his coffin with him so he can sleep during the day, so he takes the train instead of flying. Can he make the trip without drawing too much attention to himself?

The new gymnastics teacher likes cats, brooms, and funny rhymes, that sound awfully close to spells. Could Miss Brewbaker really be a witch?

Two gassy brothers. One mad clown with Weapons of Mass Flatulation. Can kid fart power save the world's butt? Willy and Peter just want to sit around gaming and farting. So it's really annoying when they're out shopping for their sister's birthday and end up captured by crazed clowns who want to take over the planet. From a remote bouncy castle dungeon to the White House itself, can Willy and Peter outsmart - and out-fart - the evil clowns? Can they save the human race from ex-stink-tion? And still get home in time for their sister's birthday?