Showing titles in Humor

I have a twin brother. Everyone calls him Jimmy, which is sort of the English version of Dimitri, his actual Greek name. Our mum's Greek, you see. I'm Cally, short for Calista, which means, I don't want to sound big-headed or anything, 'most beautiful'. I'm not sure about Dimitri, but if Dimitri means most-annoying-brother-in-the-whole-wide-world, then that's him.

"A bear on Paddington Station?" said Mrs Brown in amazement. "Don't be silly - there can't be." The Browns first met Paddington on a railway station - Paddington station, in fact. He had travelled all the way from Darkest Peru with only a jar of marmalade, a suitcase and his hat. The Browns soon found that Paddington was a very unusual bear.

The irresistible Paddington Bear, who was found in Paddington station, returns in this reissued novel, with a brand-new cover design. 'Even Paddington can't come to much harm in half an hour,' said Mrs Brown optimistically. But who else other than Paddington could hang Mr Curry's lawnmower from a treetop or set Father Christmas' beard on fire?

You know how you're supposed to come up with a list of "resolutions" at the beginning of the year to try to make yourself a better person? Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know. But Greg's dad has other ideas. He wants Greg to change his wimpy ways, toughen up and enlist in other 'manly' endeavours.

Up until now, middle school hasn't exactly been a joyride for Greg Heffley. So when the town threatens to close the crumbling building, he's not too broken up about it. But when Greg realizes this means he's going to be sent to a different school than his best friend, Rowley Jefferson, he changes his tune. Can Greg and his classmates save their school before it's shuttered for good? Or is this the start of a whole new chapter for Greg?

Daniel and Lottie finally have their first date. A trip to a fancy gelato in Brighton. But how do you eat ice-cream in front of your crush and is Lottie ready for her first kiss? I mean he's nice and all but boys are still a bit gross, right? The school holidays are looming, and with Lottie off camping to France for two weeks and Daniel spending most of the summer on a fancy Greek island, it looks as if the young lovebirds will be cruelly ripped apart. But then Lottie makes friends with a French boy called Antoine.

After a summer of meeting handsome French boys and getting a tiny bit sunburnt. OK, fine - a lot sunburnt, Lottie's heading off on a week-long residential school trip. A whole week away from embarrassing parents and Toby's tasty air biscuits! But the trip soon turns into a total disaster. The other girls staying at the camp are MEGA-MEAN, best friend Jess is spending all her time with new girl Isha, and Lottie's diary gets stolen! Who knew a school trip could cause so much DRAMA?!

Miles Murphy had it made. He lived in a great town near the ocean, he had two best friends, and most importantly, he had a reputation for being his town's best prankster. All of which explains why he's not happy to bemoving to Yawnee Valley, a sleepy town that's famous for one thing and one thing only: cows. Worse than that, Miles quickly discovers that Yawnee Valley already has a prankster - and a great one. If Miles is going to take the title from this mystery kid, he'll have to raise his game.

Piggy Handsome is a very confident guinea pig with a hugely inflated ego - he hails from a long line of very famous guinea pigs. But sadly Handsome STILL hasn't achieved world renown. Well, now he has a new plan to get his name on the telly - he'll be someone's hero! When pushing Jeff Budgie off a roof and 'saving' him fails spectacularly, Handsome is at his wits' end. Little does he know, however, that the dastardly Dixons have escaped prison and are seeking revenge for their capture.

Welcome to the Midnight Gang! Midnight is the time when all children are fast asleep, except of course for...the Midnight Gang. That is when their adventures are just beginning.... When Tom gets hit on the head by a cricket ball, he finds himself at Lord Funt Hospital and is greeted by a terrifying-looking porter. Things go from bad to worse when he meets the wicked matron in charge of the children's ward.... But Tom is about to embark on the most thrilling journey of a lifetime!

Meet the Blunders: Bertie, Betsy, their children, Brutus and Bunny, along with their beloved grandma Old Lady Blunder, and their pet ostrich, Cedric. An ostrich is not a sensible pet, but then the Blunders are not sensible people. This family of upper-class twits live in a crumbling country house named Blunder Hall. When their home comes under threat, they must embark on a series of comic misadventures to save it.

From the million-copy bestselling author of The Parent Agency and Birthday Boy comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

When Heimdall and Hyrrokkin abandon their "children" to go on vacation, Odin sends Baldur—Thor's half-brother and god of making Loki look bad—to babysit. As Baldur and Thor bond, Loki's attempts to prove he's good start getting a bit desperate. After the drama teacher casts him as the villain in the school play, Loki starts to wonder whether there's any point in being good when everyone seems convinced of his villainy.

Four fantastic new stories about everyone’s favourite twins. There’s always double trouble when these two are about, so get ready for more mayhem as they look after the school hamster for half term, have a competition to build the best snowman, raise money with a yard sale and have a roller coaster of a time at the local theme park!

The irresistible Paddington Bear, who was found in Paddington station, returns in this reissued novel, with a brand-new cover design. 'Oh dear!' said Paddington, 'I'm in trouble again.' Somehow trouble always comes naturally to Paddington. What other bear could catch a fish in his hat or cause havoc in the Browns' kitchen just trying to be helpful?

Piggy Handsome is a very confident guinea pig with a hugely inflated ego - he hails from a long line of very famous guinea pigs. But sadly, Handsome hasn't yet achieved world renown. With the help of gruff-talking Jeffry, the budgie, and the inadvertent efforts of two dastardly villains, Dan and Dolly Dixon, Handsome might realise his dream, get in the papers and save the day - without even realising. All in one day trip to the seaside!

Danny thinks his dad is the most marvellous and exciting father any boy ever had - but Danny's dad has a very big secret. This secret leads them both into the strangest adventure of their lives, and a daring plot that makes Danny the champion of the world.

At long last Lottie and Daniel are an official couple and everything seems to be going super well (except for Amber being increasingly mean and jealous, but what's new there?). Amber decides it's ludicrous that Lottie has a boyfriend and she doesn't so she decides to hand out applications forms at school and audition the most eligible Bachelors for the role. Jess also decides to reveal to the rest of the group that she might be gay, and that she might also have a crush on someone at school.

Penguin presents the audiobook edition of Dog Days by Jeff Kinney, read by Dan Russell. The way I like to spend my summer holidays is in front of the TV, playing video games with the curtains closed and the light turned off. Unfortunately, Mom's idea of the perfect summer holiday is different from mine. Greg's mom has a vision of 'family togetherness' that really doesn't sound a whole lot of fun. But there's a brand-new addition to the Heffley family to contend with, and it looks like Greg might be outnumbered. It could be a real dog of a summer....

If you’re a fan of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Edward Scissorhands, or the darkest bits of Roald Dahl, the Weirdie triplets - Barnacle, Garlic, and Melancholy - will feel like old friends. After being left behind when the entire estate of Deadeye Manor is packed up for a doomed vacation cruise, the triplets have to learn how to fend for themselves.