Showing results for "The Funnies" in Children's Audiobooks

Penguin presents Funny Bones: The Collection by Allan Ahlberg, read by Stephen Mangan. An audio collection of the perennially popular Funny Bones books by Allan Ahlberg. Featuring: Funnybones, The Pet Shop, The Black Cat, Bumps in the Night, Give the Dog a Bone, Dinosaur Dreams, Skeleton Crew and Mystery Tour.

Since we first met Nikki Maxwell, she's been doing everything she can to keep everyone at school from learning the truth - that she's there on scholarship in exchange for her dad working as the school's exterminator. The last thing Nikki needs is having her friends and - worst case scenario - her crush, Brandon, associating her with the humongous roach on top of her dad's van!

Uncover the side-splitting life of cucumber scaredy-cats, non-stop pooping hamsters, exploding fish and everything in-between (and some things that have nothing to do with pets but are still ridiculously funny). This hilarious audiobook answers all the big questions, like: do sausage dogs eat sausages? Why has my cat done a poo behind my wardrobe? And how can I persuade my parents to get me a pet? For real-life pet facts, imaginary stories, and a generally laugh-so-hard-snot-comes-out-your-nose listen, this is the only pet book you’ll ever need!

Joe Smith is average in every way. He is average height. He lives in an average town, on an average street, in an average house, with a very average family. But when a survey identifies him as the most average kid in the country—well that makes him very special indeed. Suddenly, everyone wants Joe to test out their latest products. Overnight he is sent mountains of gifts—the best trainers, the coolest bike, the most exciting new tech, the latest flavours of ice cream—and so much more. He gets special cinema screenings and the entire water park all to himself.

The town of Franklin Falls is having its 100th birthday. And that means the town’s historic time capsule is about to be dug up and put on display by the proud citizens. Yeah, well, not if the crooked mayor has his way. Good thing all-around smart kid Leon Karakostas is one step ahead of him. Leon and his twin sister, Noel, and his crew - Pixie, Microscope, and Aardvark - find themselves in a mad dash to the dump, on a rooftop chase, and caught up in a showdown with a mysterious grandma.

Q: Who wants their five star funny story included in Oakfield School's story book? A: Everyone! But what will Tom write about? Inspiration strikes when he looks at his excellent collection of odd objects and remembers the funny stories behind each one. Starting with Great Great Aunt Aggie's fake bird hat, the weird stone with a hole and his very special doodle pen. Marcus wants to write about Tom (which is annoying), Amy's got a funny poem and Norman's story is all about...cheese. But Mr Fullerman can only choose the five star stories – will Tom get his work in on time?

Paddington Bear has been delighting adults and children alike with his earnest good intentions and humorous misadventures for over 60 years. Here you can listen to seven hilarious Paddington stories, read by Stephen Fry and Jim Broadbent. Paddington is now a major movie star! Paddington Bear had travelled all the way from Darkest Peru when the Brown family first met him on Paddington station. Since then their lives have never been quite the same...for ordinary things become quite extraordinary when a bear called Paddington is around.

Uncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they’re not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats? Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a hilarious listen, this audiobook is for you.

Paddington Bear has been delighting adults and children alike with his earnest good intentions and humorous misadventures for more than 60 years. Here you can listen to seven hilarious Paddington stories, read by Stephen Fry and Jim Broadbent.

Elijah Muddle’s life changed in an instant. The son of a spiteful and mean manure farmer, Elijah now has become an apprentice to the town’s warlock, Caliban. The chance to escape his terrible father and learn magic? It’s a dream come true! Until...it turns out that Elijah’s internal magic is wonky, and he is the absolute worst warlock ever - all his spells go wildly wrong, causing both hilarious and disastrous consequences all over town.

Being president is no laughing matter.... Especially when Max is forced to run for class president to get even with his psycho teacher, Mr Armstrong. But how can Max possibly hope to win the presidency? He isn't the sportiest, smartest, best-looking or even tallest candidate in the running. And Mr Armstrong is determined to sabotage his campaign at every opportunity. Max now has no choice but to be the candidate his voters want and need...the funny kid!

Want to know why octopuses can’t play football? And how to play the game across multiple dimensions? How about learning the real rules of how football is played, why Henry VIII banned it, plus where it came from and who the greatest players of all time are? Whether you love a game of table football, can’t get enough of back-garden ball, only enjoy the game from your sofa or would sooner swim with sharks than play it, if you love to laugh—then this is the audiobook for you!

Ever wondered why sharks have such a bad reputation? Are they dangerous, human-munching monsters? Or have we got it all wrong? In fact, only six people get attacked by sharks every year across the whole world. And how many sharks are eaten by humans every year? One hundred million! So maybe sharks are more afraid of us. Take a deep dive into the ridiculously funny life of sharks (and some things that have nothing to do with sharks but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire.

Do your fantasy-loving kids find history class too serious or boring? Do they wonder if maybe some really awesome stories from the past never made it into their library books? What about tales of daring acts, strange behavior, or unbelievable happenings that many people don’t know about? Could these stories be out there, just waiting to be discovered? Absolutely! And you’re about to discover them right now. Get ready to unlock hours of engaging listening for your young one with this new collection of amazing stories.

A collection of hilarious original audio stories for raising lots of laughs and giggles. These new stories are especially written for families to listen to, publishing to coincide with April Fool's Day! With more than an hour of audio, this edition is filled with funny and engaging sound effects, guaranteed to raise laughs from little listeners everywhere. This audiobook is aimed at children aged six and over, for family listening and learning and development for young minds.

If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese . . . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat's business.

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

The Bumper Book of Funny Jokes for Kids is jam-packed with more than 1000 side-splitting jokes, riddles, and tongue twisters for hours of laugh-out-loud fun. It’s perfect to listen to on journeys, during holidays, in the playground, or anywhere else you want to have fun. Kids will literally be bursting at the seams to share these rib-tickling jokes with their friends and family members, making this a wonderful teaching and learning resource for young listeners.

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Smash Boom Best is a funny, smart debate show for kids and families from the makers of the award-winning podcast, Brains On! from APM Studios. Every episode takes two cool things, smashes them together and lets you decide which is best: Pikachu vs. Mario, Lollipops vs. Popcorn, Flamingos vs. Axolotls, Mermaids vs. Bigfoot, Cats vs. Dogs, Spiderman vs. Batman, Refrigerators vs. Toilets, Minecraft vs. Lego… the list goes on. Our star-studded line-up of debaters use facts and passion to make their case, teaching listeners how to defend their opinions along the way! Past debaters include Tim ...