Showing results for "The Baby" in Satire

Would you pay to watch babies fight to the death? Only the wealthy and privileged have the kind of money that can pay for such vile entertainment. The first rule of Baby Fights is there are no rules. Babies can't follow rules. But with a certain persuasion they turn into rabid little monsters, and oh what a spectacle it is to see.

In this, the penultimate tale of the Circles in Hell comedy series, Charon, ferryman for the dead, and his paramour, the succubus Lilith, adopt an infant girl and settle in the suburbs of the Second Circle. Bringing up the first baby in Hell will test the parenting skills of the stalwart skeleton and his demonic partner, for Mona is no ordinary child. She soon exhibits powers that would make a devil blanch. The First Baby has her own set of firsts—from words to steps to a hospital visit—and they all unfold in madcap fashion.

P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.

"The Water-Babies" remains relevant today as it resonates with universal themes and moral insights that extend beyond the Victorian context. The narrative's enduring appeal lies not only in its engaging storyline, but also in the profound messages that it conveys about human nature and societal values.

Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin listening to chapters from this audiobook when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids.

Lloyd has a particular set of skills. He writes the small print for prescription drugs, marital aids, and incontinence products. The clients present him with a list of possible side effects. His job is "to recite and minimize" sometimes by just saying them really fast and other times by finding the language that can render them acceptable. The results are ingenious. The methods diabolical. Lloyd has a habit, too. He cops smack during coffee breaks at his new job writing copy for Christian Swingles, an online dating service for the faithful.

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

For years, millions of us have murmured under our collective breath about the descent of modern children's names into the depths of the ridiculous, and now those millions have a voice. Teachers, nurses, parents, students: If you've ever rolled your eyes at a child's name and fantasized about ridiculing his/her parents for their self-serving pretentiousness - or simply their ability to spell correctly - this is the audiobook for you.

Dr. Dongle, the indefatigable slayer of parents who give their children awful name, returns more vile and angry than ever in Volume 4. In the crosshairs this go-round are the mothers and fathers of Keightlynne, Equinox, Jaxton, Virva, Fhoenix, Rayge, Gusty, Jaykub, Infinity, Darlington and 90 more names that it's OK to openly despise. The usual warning: the language herein is among the most foul, vile and vulgar you'll ever read. The faint of heart and those with a weak sense of humor need not apply.

In Book 3, Johnny Dongle continues his full-frontal assault on the terrible names given to children by modern parents.

Johnny Dongle returns with more real-life, awful names given to children by even realer-life, awfuler parents. Tresco: Child or Discount Pharmacy Chain? Pacey: Child or Race Horse? Annora: Child or Medical Condition? You be the judge. Bascom: Child or Secretive Government Agency? You be the judge. Advisory: This audiobook is even more vile, vulgar, and hilarious than Volume I.