Showing results for "Holly" in Humor

These are the memoirs of ME, Holly Hopkinson, aged almost 10, except without any of the rubbish adults usually put in, thank you very much. My dad just lost his job, which means me and the rest of my family have to leave London and move to the middle of nowhere, which is a TOTAL DISASTER! There’s no Wi-Fi, the local kids are FERAL and there’s animal poo EVERYWHERE. But then for my birthday, my eccentric aunt gave me a magic pocket watch, which I can use to hypnotise and control people.

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

Earlier this year, me and the rest of my family had to move to the middle of nowhere after my dad lost his job. Now my mum has just lost her job as well, and I must once again save my family from financial ruin and catastrophe - while dealing with silent brother Harold’s girl drama and sorting out my older sister, Harmony, who has joined the protests about a new housing development in the village. Thank goodness I am armed with my Magic Pocket Watch.

Harriet Manners knows that a cat has 32 muscles in each ear, a “jiffy” lasts a hundredth of a second, and the average person laughs 15 times per day. She knows that bats always turn left when exiting a cave and that peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. But she doesn’t know why nobody at school seems to like her. So when Harriet is spotted by a top model agent, she grabs the chance to reinvent herself.

Harriet Manners knows many things. She knows that toilet roll was invented by the Chinese in 600 AD. She knows that a comet’s tail always points away from the sun. And she knows that the average healthy heart beats 70 times per minute. Even when it’s broken. But she knows nothing about making new friends at Sixth Form. Or why even her old friends seem to be avoiding her. And she knows even less about being a glittering supermodel success. Which she now is - apparently.

Harriet Manners knows that a cat has 32 muscles in each ear, a "jiffy" lasts 1/100th of a second, and the average person laughs 15 times per day. She knows that bats always turn left when exiting a cave and that peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. But she doesn't know why nobody at school seems to like her. So when Harriet is spotted by a top model agent, she grabs the chance to reinvent herself. Even if it means stealing her best friend's dream, incurring the wrath of her arch enemy Alexa, and repeatedly humiliating herself in front of impossibly handsome model Nick.

"My name is Harriet Manners, and I'll always be a geek." It's the hilarious third book in the best-selling, award-winning Geek Girl series! Harriet Manners knows more facts than most. She knows that New York is the most populous city in the United States. She knows that its official motto is ‘Ever Upward'. She knows that one in thirty-eight people living in the US lives there. But she knows nothing whatsoever about modelling in the Big Apple and how her family will cope with life stateside.

My name is Harriet Manners, and I am still a geek. The fourth book in the award-winning Geek Girl series. Harriet Manners has high hopes for the new school year: She's a sixth former now, and things are going to be different. But with Nat busy falling in love at college and Toby preoccupied with a top-secret project, Harriet soon discovers that's not necessarily a good thing....

"My name is Harriet Manners, and I am still a geek." Model Misfit is the sequel to award-winning No. 1 UK debut Geek Girl. Harriet Manners knows a lot of facts. She knows that humans have 70,000 thoughts per day. She knows that Geek + Model = a whole new set of graffiti on your belongings. And that the average person eats a ton of food a year, though her pregnant stepmother is doing her best to beat this. But Harriet doesn't know where she's going to fit in once the new baby arrives.

All I want for Christmas is...a new Geek Girl story! Harriet Manners knows a lot about Christmas. She knows that every year Santa climbs down 91.8 million chimneys. She knows that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was almost definitely a girl. She knows that the first artificial Christmas trees were made out of goose feathers. But this Christmas is extra special for Harriet, because four days ago she had her First Ever Kiss. Now she just needs to work out what's supposed to happen next....

Harriet Manners knows that the hottest observed place on earth is Furnace Creek in Death Valley. She knows that dolphins shed the top layer of their skin every two hours. And she knows just how badly auditions can go, especially when you’re a model. But she has no idea how to get herself out of the extreme embarrassment of the school play or what to do when arch-nemesis Alexa decides it’s the perfect opportunity to humiliate her.

Harriet Manners knows almost every fact there is. She knows duck-billed platypuses don't have stomachs. She knows that 14 squirrels were once detained as spies. She knows that both chess and Snakes and Ladders were invented in the same country. And for once, Harriet knows exactly how her life should go. She's got it all planned out. Though her friends seem less than happy, Harriet is determined to Make Things Happen! If only everyone else would stick to the script....

Harriet Manners knows many facts. And she knows everything there is to know about Paris...except what to do when you're the hottest new model at Fashion Week. Can Harriet find her je ne sais quoi, or will it be sacré bleu! on the runway? Find out in this hilarious summer-special Geek Girl novella from number one best-selling author Holly Smale.

Harriet Manners knows almost every fact there is. Modelling isn't a surefire route to popularity. Neither is making endless lists.

The people you love don't expect you to transform into someone else. Statistically you are more likely to not meet your Australian ex-boyfriend in Australia than bump into him there. So on the trip of a lifetime Down Under, Harriet's to-do lists are gone, and it's Nat's time to shine!

Welcome to volume III of my memoirs—with me, Holly Hopkinson, still in the middle of flipping nowhere, and still on the brink of MULTIPLE CATASTROPHES, like my parents announcing that we might be moving STATESIDE. Good thing my sister is still into organising protests, thank you very much. PLUS Mum is about to lose what little money we have left on a vegetable shop, there's been a biscuit-fight fiasco in the village, and a family secret I uncovered means my suitcase is packed, my goodbyes are prepared—life is cruel at 12.

Wish it could be Christmas every day? Well, for nine-year-old Holly Carroll and her family, it is! Living her merriest life in a house with year-round fairy lights and Christmas trees, a carol-singing toilet and a diva donkey who thinks he’s a reindeer, home-schooled Holly tries to spread cheer wherever she goes. But when she goes to a new school with a singing Santa backpack and first-day Christmas cards (during a heatwave in September!), she realises not everyone shares her enthusiasm for spreading cheer.

Dad's taking Holly on one of his travel-writing trips - to Malaysia! Holly can't wait to explore all the new sights, sounds and smells Asia has to offer. But Dad has other things in mind.... Instead of exploring the jungles, he's busy making the most of the free spa and sticking Holly in the dreaded Adventure Club. If Holly wants a real adventure, she's going to have to find it herself.

Judy Moody is making a list and checking it twice, but all her brother, Stink, wants this year is snow. It hasn’t snowed on Christmas in Virginia in more than a hundred years, however, so what are the chances that that will change? Enter the new mailman, Mr. Jack Frost, who not only looks like a jolly old elf but also seems to know a lot about weather patterns, has a fondness for the cold, and works looooooong hours during the holiday season.

What do you do when your purple shirt is dirty, your favorite cereal is gone, and a tantrum gets you banished to your bedroom? You run away...to a pop-up tent in the yard...but just until dinner. The Day I Ran Away is a spirited yet soothing story for days when you feel like running away, and a sweet reminder that home is where the hugs (and cookies) are.

Mama has trained up her baby possums in the ways of their breed, and now it's time for all of them - even little Appleblossom - to make their way in the world. Appleblossom knows the rules: She must never be seen during the day, and she must avoid cars, humans, and the dreaded hairies - sometimes known as dogs. Even so, Appleblossom decides to spy on a human family - and accidentally falls down their chimney!