Showing results for "A Confession" in Friendship

Growing up, Elizabeth wanted to make everyone like her. Lacking friends at school, she grew up to believe that quantity equalled quality. Having lots of friends meant you were loved, popular and safe. She was determined to become a Good Friend. And, in many ways, she did. But in adulthood she slowly realised that it was often to the detriment of her own boundaries and mental health. Then, when a global pandemic hit in 2020, she was one of thousands of people forced to reassess what friendship really meant to them—with the crisis came a dawning realisation.

If you’ve ever checked your ex’s social media at 2am – or their new partner’s LinkedIn (because it’s the only social profile you can access) – or are having sex with your partner knowing you’re going to leave – or if you can’t stop thinking about the one who broke your heart a decade ago – or if everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple but you’ve been drifting apart for years – or if you’re swiping to fill a void – then you’ve probably felt a smarting of shame.

Briallen Hopper's Hard to Love honours the categories of loves and relationships beyond marriage, the ones that are often treated as invisible or seen as secondary - friendships, kinship with adult siblings, care teams that form in times of illness, or various alternative family formations. She also values difficult and amorphous loves like loving a challenging job or inanimate objects that can't love you back.