Showing titles in Humorous

Fool and Jackal returned, triumphant from their latest mission. As a reward, they get to babysit a spoiled rich kid as he levels up and maybe becomes a valuable asset. An easy job, until the Armageddon cultists showed up.

Adam Cain had had worse days, but at the moment, he couldn't remember when. And when the native judge slammed an oblong stone on the podium before him, signaling an end to the fifteen-minute trial and sentencing, Adam felt a tingle run down his spine. It was going to take all his skill, experience—and luck—to get out of this one. And his latest challenge was just beginning. But Adam wasn't about to let the situation get the best of him. He had skills, skills which will be tested when he finds he's been placed in more of a zoo than a prison.

Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

The Pan of Hamgee, starving outlaw, bumps into Big Merv: the meanest, scariest gangster in the City, and without thinking what he is doing, steals his wallet. When Big Merv realises what has happened our hero's future looks short. Will he talk his way out of it or will he be "recycled" into a stanchion of the Outer Ring Road extension?

It’s a miracle. The fountain of youth discovered flowing through the veins of postmillennials. In idyllic planned communities, freed from adulting and student loans, the young can live in guilt-free organic luxury. All it costs them is a weekly blood donation to extend the lives of their privileged elders. But prices are going up. There’s much more to the utopian Sunset Consortium than anyone realizes in this chilling trilogy.

2 B R 0 2 B is a science fiction short story by Kurt Vonnegut, originally published in the digest magazine Worlds of If Science Fiction for January 1962, and collected in Vonnegut's Bagombo Snuff Box (1999). The title is pronounced "2 B R naught 2 B" and references the famous phrase "to be, or not to be" from William Shakespeare's Hamlet. In the story, the title refers to the telephone number that one dials to schedule an assisted suicide with the Federal Bureau of Termination.

Bark Gnarganfarkle was born male on a planet that banned men. One hundred and forty years ago, every last man left Earth for planet Toxicovia. Bark’s birth on Earth was not only an accident—it was illegal. And now his family is on the run. Fearing the tyrannical Matriarchs, the family settles in a mining community far across the galaxy. For Bark, this means starting his senior year at a new high school...full of aliens. Bark soon discovers the cruise, where young motorheads sneak away from parents—and police—to race spaceships.

Real love knows no realities. The multiverse's first power couple were once a lonely queen and a king who had lost his kingdom. This is the story of how a multiverse in Khaos brought them together.

This debut novel dives into the lives of bohemian New York neighbors, whose worlds are turned upside down by a mysterious rooftop landing. When Ollie spots an alien on a nearby rooftop he knows right away that no one is going to believe him. Sure enough, his friends think he is losing it, and even his bandmate Zara is convinced he is seeing things.

With danger dodging his heels at every turn, Private Investigator Zachary Nixon Johnson, while protecting Sexy Sprockets, a talentless redheaded teen media superstar, from terrorists, finds himself at the mercy of three psionic, superhuman dominatrices bent on world domination.

The timeline correction Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon accomplished in their first episode was successful.... Or was it? When the two humans and their Krichard friends, Chrissie and Tina, return to year 2020 Earth to verify the change, they find an advanced, peaceful planet. The four friends move into Marty’s new timeline home and the next morning head out for a flying car tour of Oodlelakeolis.

It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday. But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, he is tapped by the president for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it. The problem is - Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.

Intrepid fifty-something librarian Shona McMonagle, erstwhile Marcia Blaine Academy prefect, finds herself in an isolated French mountain village, where she must solve a mystery involving the mayor, the cheesemonger, the soprano Mary Garden, and even Count Dracula himself. Shona has been personally selected by school founder Marcia Blaine to travel back in time for this important mission in fin-de-siècle France – a curiously Gothic setting. But she finds it all very confusing.

My name is Zachary Nixon Johnson. The year is 2057, and after a handful of species-altering upheavals, Earth-shattering cataclysms, history-changing extraterrestrial contacts, and pop-culture disasters, the world is now a pretty safe place. But, of course, as in times past, people still run the shades-of-gray gamut from good to evil. There are still cops and robbers, saints and sinners, voters and politicians. And every once in a while some crazy thing happens that threatens all of society, all of humanity, even the entire space-time continuum. And it always happens on my watch.

Probably the only thing worse than finding out that nothing you know is real, is finding out that you are also not real. Well, that's how Sanjiv's day started, it did not get much better after that, truth be told.

The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he’s not even sure he knows the questions. He has a chance to go straight but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year’s amnesty for all misdemeanors while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has left him for his nemesis, Lord Vernon. The Pan doesn’t have a year, either. In only five days Lord Vernon will gain total power and destroy K'Barth. Unless The Pan can stop him.

Bran was one of the first to purchase a full immersion Virtual Reality Pod that he calls the Coffin, but over a century later, ironically, he finds himself part of the one percent that does not live virtually. He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work, and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar.

The Zang, an elder race of the galaxy, may be a shrinking population, but they're also intelligent, curious, and powerful. What's more, they practice a most unusual art form: they bonsai star systems. Eager to witness this first hand, Lieutenant Lord Thomas Kinago, accompanied as always by his personal assistant Parsons, sets out on a several-week jaunt to see the Zang destroy a moon to enhance the beauty of a star system.

Cassidy Delgado’s digital world is on fire; only she can extinguish the blaze. In this sequel to the Interstellar Online series, Cassidy’s fury is more intense after being torn from her dream job and creation—a binary-code baby with a potentially fatal flaw. Now working a new job but haunted by her past, Cassidy infiltrates her gaming software to reconnect with old allies. Her mission takes a dramatic turn when she must rescue a key investor lost in the game, putting her future on the line.

Nearly a thousand years removed from Earth, the remnants of humanity cling to existence inside giant, space faring creatures known as the Zenzee. Abused and exploited by humans for generations, these majestic animals nearly went extinct, but under the command of its newly minted ruler, Doka Kaleigh, life in the Parados I has flourished. Thanks to careful oversight and sacrifice by all of its crew, they are now on the brink of utopia, and yet Doka's rivals feel threatened by that success.