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When your child struggles with anxiety, it’s natural to want to make the anxiety go away. But sometimes our efforts result in making anxiety bigger. In this episode, I'm talking about three common mistakes parents (and sometimes even therapists) make when trying to support children and teens. And most importantly, I'll tell you what you can do instead to help effectively reduce your child's anxiety.
And stay tuned till the end of this episode when I tell you What's Bringing Me More Zen. This week's segment is different than usual because I have actually not been feeling so zen lately. I'll tell you what I've been doing to manage during this difficult time.
1. Reassuring Too Much or Trying to “Fix” the Problem
It’s instinctive to want to ease your child’s worries with plenty of reassurance or by solving the problem right away. But too much reassurance can actually send the message that their fears are too big to manage on their own, which can reinforce anxiety. I'll tell you what you can do instead of overly reassuring or rescuing your child from their fear.
2. Avoiding the Things that Cause Anxiety
When a certain situation—like going to school, joining a sports team, or talking to people—causes your child anxiety, it might feel helpful to keep them away from those triggers. While avoiding these situations might bring relief in the short term, it often makes anxiety worse over time, reinforcing the idea that the fear is too overwhelming to face. I'll tell you how using exposure is the key to decreasing fear and teaching your child that they can handle uncomfortable feelings and uncertainty.
3. Dismissing or Minimizing Their Feelings
Sometimes, in an effort to help your child feel stronger, it’s tempting to say things like “There’s nothing to worry about,” or “You’re fine.” While these statements come from a place of love, they can leave your child feeling misunderstood or even ashamed of their feelings. I'll tell you how it's more helpful to validate emotions—letting your child know that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. When kids feel safe and understood, they’re more likely to open up and face their fears with support.
Finding the Right Balance
Helping your child with anxiety isn’t about making the fear disappear; it’s about supporting them in facing their feelings a little at a time. By validating their emotions, encouraging small steps, and being a steady source of support, you can help them build confidence and resilience. This will make a big difference in helping your child thrive!
I'd love to hear from YOU! Send me a question and I might answer it in an upcoming solo episode. Here's how to connect with me:
For information on Lauren's counseling services for kids, teens and families check out: https://www.laurencounseling.com/
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This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and not intended to be a replacement for diagnosis, mental health therapy or psychological treatment of any kind. Please consult with your doctor or mental health provider in order to care for your physical or mental health.
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