S6 Episode 7: You Must Be Comfortable Being Lonesome Before Becoming a Twosome

Episode Summary

The truth is, when you feel lonesome it often stems from a lack of something in your current interpersonal relationships. Instead of letting these feelings get you down, embrace the opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do it on your own. Knowing that you can satisfy your own physical, emotional and financial needs before becoming part of a couple will allow you to set healthy boundaries and reasonable expectations.

When people are comfortable being on their own, they have higher standards and are not willing to fall prey to manipulation and abuse. They are more likely to appreciate what another person can bring into their lives without becoming dependent. Being self-sufficient is empowering. Moreover, it makes you a desirable mate.

A Romancipated individual is comfortable being on their own because they believe in their capabilities. They do not feel the need to settle for anything less than what they deserve in a partner. They cure loneliness with strong friendships, familial ties and hobbies and never let fear of being alone dictate romantic decisions.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how foolish it is to go over your budget to pay for a wedding.

Show Notes

Feeling comfortable while you’re alone is important, and it’s important to find this place for yourself before you get into a relationship. Society pushes people to be in a relationship because it’s seen as the highest level of happiness. In reality, being able to make yourself happy should come first. In many ways, feeling comfortable being alone is a lost art form.

There’s a difference between feeling lonely and being lonesome. When you’re lonesome, you’re on your own but at ease with it. When you’re lonely, you’re uncomfortable and in need of desire for human connection. Many people have a fear of being lonely, especially long-term. This is a valid concern in today’s virtual world.

Being comfortable in your own skin, being able to take care of yourself, and meeting your own wants and needs is a part of being Romancipated. You should never seek a relationship out of a fear of loneliness. You should be in a relationship because you want the other person for who they are and what they bring to the relationship.

Co-dependency is never a good thing. It robs you of your identity, and it robs your partner of their identity. Independence is sexy. Partners who can do things together as well as enjoy separate interests promote a healthy relationship. Friends, family, and hobbies can be avenues used to cure loneliness—not your romantic relationship.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When a partner wants you to spend money you don’t have on a wedding. The idea of going into debt for your wedding is a serious red flag. You shouldn’t spend money you don’t have just for a party. It’s a poor financial decision and doesn’t guarantee a long-term relationship.

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