On March 15 2019, dozens of women hovered in the female section of Christchurch's Al-Noor Mosque, as their time of worship became a time of terror, shocking the nation to its core.

By Lana Hart

Widows of Shuhada is an authentic walk alongside four of the women most affected by the atrocities of March 15, 2019. Featuring Muslim broadcasting student Asha Abdi and Al-Noor mosque's Women's Coordinator Jumayah Jones, they present insights rarely heard before or since March 15.

Telling her story is tough for Hamimah. "It's hard for me to say the word 'killed' but he was shot and killed and - we hope that that then gives him the title of the martyr, the shuhada."

The music in the podcast is mostly from the Egyptian oud player Hazem Shaheen and there are some original pieces from local Christchurch musician Liam Oliver.

To Farah, Neha, Mahubo and Hamimah: Thank you from the bottom of our hearts and we hope that by sharing your stories, that your lives were made better too. barakallahu feekum

And to the 51 who were lost that day - Inna lilla wa Ina ilaihi rojiun

"we came from Allah, and to Allah we return."

Widows of Shuhada is Produced by Community Access Radio Plains FM for RNZ and follows four Muslim women widowed by the Christchurch mosque attacks who share their journeys through grief and take steps towards a different life.

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We meet our four widows of shuhada - Farah, Neha, Muhubo and Hamimah - and learn about their marriages, their challenges, and how they are dealing with their grief six months after the attacks.

Four women whose husbands were made martyrs (shuhada) - in the Christchurch mosque attacks of March 15, 2019, have allowed us into their lives as they come to terms with their new reality - as Widows of Shuhada

It's early September, 2019 as we meet Sanjida Jaman Neha, Mahuba Ali Jaman, Farah Talal and Hamimah Tuyan.

Flowers and fear surrounded Al-Noor mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand after 51 people were killed here and at Linwood mosque on 15 March, 2019.

Dr Hamimah Tuyan lost her husband Zekeriya, the 51st victim to die from the attacks. She now lives in Singapore with her two young sons.

Atta Elayyan is survived by his two-year-old daughter, Aya, and wife Farah Talal, who says "I feel like I became homeless and he used to be my home."

The gunman struck during Friday prayers, the busiest time of the week for the mosque. Because they died while praying, the 51 dead are known as martrys, or shuhada, and are promised eternal life in heaven and to meet Allah.

Originally from Somalia, Muhubo Ali Jama lost her husband of 25 years, Sheikh Muse Nur Awale. Preferring for her face not to be photographed, Muhubo talks with her friend Siman Omar, the mother of Widows of Shuhada's presenter, Asha Abdi.

Once in New Zealand, Sanjida Jaman Neha had to sort through her husband Mohammad Omar Faruk's possessions. Here she discovered an exercise book where he wrote about his thoughts, his love for her and his dream to settle their family in New Zealand.

Neha was four months pregnant when Omar died. Their daughter Noor-e-Omar was born five months later, the only child born of a martryr since the attacks. Her name means "the light of Omar" and signifies the place where her father was killed, Al-Noor mosque.

In the months after the attacks, Neha couldnt accept the King of Saudi Arabias invitation to attend hajj, the Islamic pilgrimage, since she was close to giving birth. Some of the other 200 Muslims that did attend brought Neha holy water from the Well of Zamzam, believed to be miraculously created and a gift from God.

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The widows take us back to March 15th. Farah heads for the hospital, while Hamimah and Neha learn about the attacks from overseas. Muhubo hears the entire massacre from the women's area of Al-Noor.

It started out a day like any other. Then the phone calls started coming, the breaking news broadcasting...

In this episode, four women recall that horrifying afternoon as they realised their husbands were caught up in New Zealand's worst mass shooting.

Seven months since the attack, Muhubo now keeps to herself a lot more. She witnessed the atrocity of March 15th, 2019, hearing the gunshots, seeing the dead bodies, and observing the suffering of the dying. Despite social service support, she was not able to discuss the day of the attacks for several months.

Police protection at Al-Noor mosque continued for several months after the March attacks. Jumayah Jones, Women's Coordinator at the time of the attacks and the religious advisor for our series, discusses what happened that day with Lead Producer Lana Hart.

Farah holds a pendant, a special present from Atta symbolizing their never-ending love. This, and Atta's wedding ring remain with Farah at all times. She says "When God was making husbands as far I can see, he made a special soulmate, specially for me."

Neha says "Here in New Zealand, I am living in peace, but when I am alone, I sometimes think about Faruk, and then I get angry."

In the women's area of Al-Noor mosque, dozens of women hovered as the massacre unfolded. Jumayah says the women "all ran off like a wind through the right side, the exit door and through the gates to the main road and they were safe... because at that time the killer had actually gone back inside the mosque.

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