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In this episode of Unconditioning Love, we wrap up the Tangled Up in Twos mini-series, where we have been exploring women’s experiences in the Two by Two church and how leaving has transformed their relationship with identity and self-expression.

Yvette Hughes shares her journey of embracing her naturally curly hair within a culture of conformity. Growing up in South Africa’s coloured community during Apartheid, Yvette faced pressure to straighten her hair to fit societal and religious expectations. Her story highlights the beauty of self-acceptance, the quiet rebellion/beauty of staying true to herself, and the freedom she’s found since leaving the church.

Thank you, Yvette, for sharing your beautiful story with us.

PS: I used the help of Chat GPT to bring these show notes together

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Unconditioning Love – Tangled Up in Twos (Episode 3)

In this episode of Tangled Up in Twos, we delve into an excerpt from Cherie Kropp’s life story and explore the profound impact of hair, traditions, and questioning authority within the Two by Two fellowship.

Cherie’s poignant reflections reveal the tension between blind adherence to tradition and the courage to choose compassion and truth over rigidity. From navigating tender-headed hair battles to questioning the theological basis of women’s roles and appearances, Cherie shares how she sought clarity and truth through study and logic, despite resistance.

We discuss themes of:
•Breaking free from guilt and shame perpetuated by man-made traditions.
•The power of questioning practices and beliefs that do not align with love or scripture.
•Choosing compassion over compliance, especially in parenting.
•The emotional toll of navigating fallacious reasoning and the pursuit of Biblical truth.

Cherie’s courage to challenge the status quo, seek answers, and forge a path of authenticity provides insight for anyone navigating the complexities of leaving high-control systems.

Read the full excerpt from Cherie Kropp’s life story: Kropp – Cherie Berry.

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Episode Summary:
In the second episode of the Tangled Up in 2 mini-season, we hear three powerful anonymous stories from women reflecting on their complex relationships with hair in fundamentalist religious environments. These stories reveal how hair became a symbol of conformity, control, and, eventually, liberation.

Each story brings a unique perspective on the emotional weight of hair, its connection to identity, and the healing journey that comes with reclaiming it.

The Stories:

1. A Childhood Defined by Criticism:
   A woman recounts how a childhood condition caused her hair to fall out in patches, leading to harsh judgment from her church community and peers. She shares how this constant scrutiny tied her hair to feelings of worthiness and rebellion—and how, even now, she struggles with embracing her hair as her own.
2. Breaking Free from Expectations:
   Another woman shares her lifelong struggle with familial and religious expectations around her hair. From longing for a childhood haircut to finally choosing a bold bob in her 30s, her story highlights the anxiety and eventual freedom of taking control of her appearance—and how she’s raising her daughter to embrace her own identity, free of shame.
3. Learning to Love Hair Again:
   A 37-year-old reflects on her journey of unlearning years of “hiding” her hair, once seen as her “glory” in the church. She opens up about the frustration of not knowing how to style or care for her hair and the joy of discovering her authentic self, one small change at a time.

Themes Explored:

• The lifelong impact of religious and cultural expectations around hair.
• How hair becomes a battleground for conformity, identity, and rebellion.
• The emotional and liberating process of reclaiming autonomy over one’s appearance.

Join the Conversation:
Your voice matters!

• Share your thoughts or your own story with #TangledUpIn2 on social media.
• Follow me on Instagram: @keeney.lydia
• Visit www.lydiakeeney.com to connect, submit your story anonymously, and access additional resources.

Acknowledgments:
To the three women who shared their stories: thank you for your vulnerability and courage. Your words will resonate with so many others who are on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery.

Stay Tuned:
Next week, we’ll conclude the Tangled Up in 2 mini-season with a broader exploration of hair, faith, and identity—and how women continue to reclaim power and self-expression.

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