Is there something that you have always felt shame about but never wanted to talk about it because it made it real? This is something I have always felt in relation to certain insecurities about myself. I would speak so negatively about myself, to myself, bullying and shaming the way I looked, trying to crush any self worth or confidence I had, and make my insecurities my primal focus and thought.

I recorded this episode about a month ago, and have been putting off uploading it as the fear of exposing myself and how I feel about myself, is a bit too real. No one wants to not like parts of themselves. No one wants to admit they don't like how they look, but no one, including me, wants to be owned by the parts of myself which put me down, make me feel small, and would rather hide in a corner and hope no one ever looked in their direction.

So I just thought I'd put it out there, let it be free, and see how that makes me feel. The relationship we have to our bodies, our features, our faces, is a tale we have seen through the ages, we know that it isn't nice to be mean to ourselves, we always bring others up when they experience these insecurities, insisting "No, what are you talking about? I would never notice that about you?" or " You have nothing to worry about, you're beautiful", These statements, yes can feel nice, however they never feel true when you are in a state of hatred to oneself. It almost feels embarrassing that someone would lie to you and know they they are just "trying to be nice". I find the duality in this experience to be fascinating, as it underlines how much everyone is exisiting in their own reality, their own reality, created by their mind.

I think part of me didn't want to put this episode out because it meant that "I am not allowed to change a part of myself that I'm insecure about if I say it online" and the narrative of "you can't change your mind" and "you're a hippocratic" start playing out in my thoughts.

I am not sure if I will choose to get plastic surgery for anything in my future, and I don't think there is a yes or no path, right or wrong highway, that works for anyone. I think it what really matters is how you communicate with your self, how you lift yourself up, and how you can support every part of you that needs your attention. However that looks, however that sounds, the commitment to nurturing your inner being is what matters most.

If you feel like this episode resonates and helps you or another in any way, please share and reach out as we would love to share your journey in our future episodes.

Lots of love,

Mim

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