Tubes & tantrums. Safiyyah (27) and Katya (53) don’t want kids, and they’ve made sure of it.

We talked about how a Reddit thread lead to Safiyyah getting her tubes removed at 25. We talked about Katya getting a hysterectomy at 30. They’ve both been living their best lives ever since.

We talked about how some mums don’t look like they're having fun, familial, societal and gendered pressure especially as Black and Latina women, children being seen as an accomplishment, and remixing what a family looks like. Also, how choices are structural and political.

Also, heteronormativity and capitalism and dating and dying alone and not hating kids.

Enjoy and welcome to season 4!! Sending you love!

Timestamp for abortion story: 09:55 - 11:15

Fact checking & links!

• Safiyyah's video (with more links)
• Black women and childbirth mortality
• Cost of raising children in the U.S.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Extraction & erasure. It’s the season 3 finale!! Black African music, art and language are co-opted and stolen globally - from Tik Tok to the DJ scene to dance to activism.

I chat with Samira about being a Black African creative in Australia.

We discuss what it means to extract Black talent, labour, ideas and intellect. We focus on how non-Black ‘people of colour’ consume Black people to gain money and social capital. We go beyond appropriation and discuss the violence of extraction in all areas of the arts and media. Of course, colourism enters the chat as we unpack who gets to say things and what it means to be silent; who is protected and who is erased.

We discuss our love for Black Twitter, the power of the group chat, Black critique, Love Island and more. We end with an ode to Black histories, Black futures and Black possibilities. We revel in the beauty and sacredness of global Blackness and global Africanness.

Some of the gworls are going to be upset by this episode but we move! I can’t thank Samira enough. We really put our hearts into this. This conversation was a balm - it felt safe. Samira peeled back LAYERS. I’m telling you the range is on another level. I’ll be coming back to the episode for years to come.

It’s long and it’s beautiful and it’s needed.

Enjoy! There's a little emotional season farewell at the end from me too hehe. Sending love <3

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit
• Email: thesubtletyofit@gmail.com
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

Samira's Links!

• The Score on Triple R - Wednesdays from 9am to noon
• Still Nomads

Intro Clips by these brilliant people:

• Kahlil Greene - Tik Tok video on 'Awkwafina's Blaccent'
• Excerpt of Ousmane Sembène from the documentary Camera d’Afrique (1983) dir. Ferid Boughedir - translation: "Europe is not my centre. Europe is on the outskirts to Africa. Why be a sunflower and turn towards the sun? I myself am the sun!"
• Kameelah Janan Rasheed in ‘the Edge of Legibility' by Art21
• Kimberly Foster - 'Ariana Grande really wants to be mixed’ video
• Ama Ata Aidoo

Past episodes mentioned:

• Subtleties of Being Bla[c]k on Black Land
• Subtleties of Bla[c]k Solidarity with Eugenia Flynn
• Subtleties of Desirability with Sangeetha Thanapal

People/articles/books mentioned:

• Trudy who helped Moya Bailey develop the term misogynoir
• Moya Bailey who coined the term misogynoir

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Family & fragility. Tigist Kebede (@thetenatherapist) is a therapist based in Naarm (Melbourne). Friends, it’s been a tough few years in the panasonic and life in general, whew! Therapy is something I’m very grateful for. Tigist and I talk about everything from decolonising therapy to seeing your clients at community events.

We talk about seeing therapy as a service, how eldest daughters in immigrant families deserve the world, how proximity in small minority groups affects therapy, white supremacy in the mental health field, seeking out a therapist with similar identities to you, anti-Blackness in the mental health & medical field, navigating family members/community members who don’t go to therapy (but probably should), breaking generational cycles, Black burnout, how therapy can help us all + much more!

There’s something for everyone here - whether you’re looking for a therapist, are currently in therapy, or hope to be. Tigist is fun and beautifully honest - bringing us structural critiques and weaving in her own stories and vulnerabilities.

Sending love and tenderness your way!!

Follow Tigist here for mental health resources!

A Directory of Mental Health Support (Aotearoa NZ & so-called Australia) created by @ourdirectory is available here.

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit
• Email: thesubtletyofit@gmail.com
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit