Episodes

  • Flothrowy

    Flothrowy
    Jun 11 2023
    In this season finale: a special guest, flies as pets, a productivity hack with hanging anvils and how to catch Kristen Bell. Flies, crows and sloths battle for the final place on the ark. Elliot, Joe and Saf plan how to have 500 children. Same old nonsense. See you next season!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    57 mins
  • Camels

    Camels
    Jun 2 2023
    This episode: the new ark does drinking games, Joe shares wisdoms on pee consistency and Elliot readies arson charges. Also: the camel that shot its owner. Just cos'.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    40 mins
  • Leeches

    Leeches
    May 26 2023
    This week on Ark the musical, we invent leech porn. What a climax.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    35 mins
  • Crows

    Crows
    May 19 2023
    This episode: anti-rabbit lighthouses, why you might marry a dead person, and how crows are really the McDonalds mafia. Joe goes on record advocating for adultery and Elliot reveals a cunning plan to explode crow's heads with a murder mystery. Bidding for the film rights will start at £5 million.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    44 mins
  • Crabs

    Crabs
    May 12 2023
    In this episode: Joe gets burgled and Elliot names an STD after himself for SEO. Also: how many legs can a crab lose before it's no longer a crab? This and other age-old questions will not be answered.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    45 mins
  • Ducks

    Ducks
    May 5 2023
    The show that will get Elliot cancelled. The darkest ep. to date. Where Joe admits the animal he's defending is a despicable serial rapist. Nuff said.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    31 mins
  • Flies

    Flies
    Apr 28 2023
    Introducing the all new ark spin-off show, Films We Haven't Watched. Talking about movies we couldn't be arsed to see. With cameos from penis swords, walking zebra murals and awkward pauses... ... ... ... ... ... ... lots of awkward pauses ... ... ... ... ... ... also flies. Enjoy!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    43 mins
  • Tigers

    Tigers
    Apr 21 2023
    This week, Joe's being haunted and Elliot's high as a kite. But it's Tony the trouser-ripping tiger in the spotlight. You know that dude's over 70 years old and still creeping into kiddies' homes on cereal packets; definitely not giving off any paedophile vibes. 3, 2, 1, clap. Bye!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    50 mins