It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg.

In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover.

From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons.

Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography.

Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care.

James, we thank you for your guidance.

If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here!

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3WwDguJ

🎧Things to listen to

• James’ new podcast (that he makes with ANOTHER van Cuylenburg) You’re a Good Kid - https://apple.co/3E54MZR
• James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://apple.co/3UYXmgt
• Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://apple.co/3Af9OB6
• Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3RNKpEm

📖 Things to read

• Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller M.A - https://amzn.to/3EeVDhe

💻Things to check out

• Teach Us Consent Website - https://bit.ly/3QVhlK0
• Three Sided Pillar (triangle of happiness) - https://bit.ly/42kntmc

🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of our Summer School, we are joined by Sophie Walker, creator, and host of Australian Birth Stories.

With over 17 million downloads, and 500 episodes, Australian Birth Stories podcast has been accredited by the Australian College of Midwives and has been instrumental in educating and empowering both people who are giving birth, as well as birthing partners.

Hugh shares the incredible trauma and fear involved with his first experience of birth, and how tools of education and empowerment, such as Lael Stone’s excellent counselling, helped him prepared for birth a second time around.

The power of information is invaluable, and Josh opens up about how Hugh’s experience with birth shaped his own, and what the experience was like for him.

Sophie, it was such a pleasure.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/3sey26-L4Rw

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Australian Birth Stories Podcast - https://apple.co/4f3PgKx
  • Lisa Wipfli’s episode - https://apple.co/3CZ34sx
  • Lael Stone’s episode - https://bit.ly/3ZhaZZD
• Lael Stone on The Imperfects:
  • Creating Emotionally Intelligent Humans - https://apple.co/3V2vuIb
  • Take Care of Yourself - https://apple.co/4eAJNuw
  • Parent Yourself First - https://apple.co/3ZE28Tj
• Martin Heppell on The Imperfects:
  • The Vulnerabilitea House - Martin Heppell - https://bit.ly/3ZerqqN
  • Martin “Rac” Heppell - The other F word ….. FAILURE - https://bit.ly/4fUkDIk
• Jack Post - Natal Depression - https://apple.co/49AgxDb

💻 Things to check out:

• The danger of a single story TedTalk - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - https://bit.ly/4f16DM5
• Australian Birth Stories Birth Class Course - https://bit.ly/3BdMgxc

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with post-natal depression or anxiety surrounding birth, these are a few great websites we’ve found

• cope.org.au
• panda.org.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

B b b bonus episode!

We proudly present to you My Imperfect Life: a novel journal written by you. That’s right, we’re releasing a book, but making you do all the work.

With 100 questions inspired by episodes from 2024 on The Imperfects, My Imperfect Life is an introduction to vulnerability, allowing you to unpack your own imperfect life and be more vulnerable with yourself (because we know vulnerability with others can be A LOT).

To celebrate the launch of My Imperfect Life, we are inviting you to a reverse book singing at Readings Emporium Melbourne on Friday January 31st at 5:30pm, where we want to meet you, the author (and perhaps get a photo with you too, and maybe an autograph if you’re not too busy).

🎟️ To buy a ticket to the Reverse Book Signing (which includes a copy of My Imperfect Life that you will pick up on the day), follow this link – https://bit.ly/4hh0tcl

📖 To just purchase My Imperfect Life, click here – https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/

📃 To become our penpal, join The VulnerabiliTea-mail, a weekly newsletter where we’ll send you one vulnerable question inspired by the current episode, to help you unpack your own imperfect life. Subscribe at theimperfects.com.au

🎧 Things to listen to

• Nathan Cavaleri – The Ups & The Blues - https://apple.co/42aTmh6
• Michael Klim – The Race of His Life - https://bit.ly/4aiMyQr
• Rana Hussain – Belonging For Connection - https://apple.co/3NwftWC

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There will come a time for all of us (unless we REALLY make some improvements with bio-hacking) where we are faced with our own mortality.

Who is at your hypothetical bedside? Are you happy with how you’ve lived? Do you have any regrets?

In this Summer School edition of the Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Bronnie Ware.

Bronnie found herself in palliative care, caring for, and listening to, the dying. And boy, are we glad she did.

Bronnie collated, and published, the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (listed below for your convenience), and this episode is devoted to talking through what each of these might mean for Hugh, Ryan and Josh.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Perfectly timed for the New Year, we hope you get as much out of this episode as we did.

Bronnie, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://www.theimperfects.com.au/episode/bronnie-ware-wha…r-future-regrets/

📖 Things to read:

• The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - Bronnie Ware - https://bit.ly/4ghIKkf
• Bronnie’s original blog post - Regrets of the Dying - https://bit.ly/4f2nmPd
• From Strength to Strength - Arthur C. Brooks - https://bit.ly/3BlahT1
• Strong Female Character - Fern Brady - https://bit.ly/3Vl5Uya
• Laughing Heart - Charles Bukowski - https://bit.ly/4g2DbGL

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Paul Kelly - I Wasted Time - https://bit.ly/4eZeWbc
• Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World - https://bit.ly/48nT3Ax

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Quick heads up: Little Boy Christmas has a tenuous relationship with his parents, and therefore, this episode isn’t suited for kids.

Have you ever wondered about Little Boy Christmas, the forgotten son of Santa and Mrs Claus?

Nope, neither had we.

That’s probably why he’s forgotten.

Looking like an unbelievably shredded Dickensian orphan (you’re going to want to watch the YouTube for this one), Little Boy Christmas chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the physical and psychological pressures of being in the most famous family in the world.

A BIG thank you to Guy Montgomery who introduced us to Little Boy Christmas.

All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Guy Montgomery’s chosen charity of Auckland City Mission. Auckland City Mission responds to poverty, aiming to help people find permanent housing and food. If you’d like to donate, or check out what they’re about, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3VB0dfM

🎧Things to listen to:

• Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://bit.ly/4gns2zX
• Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://apple.co/40Y7HNs
• Guy’s podcast - The Worst Idea of All Time - https://apple.co/3DkUYKI

📺 Things to watch:

• Guy Montgomery’s Guy Mont Spelling Bee - https://ab.co/4izbmay

🎟️ Things to buy tickets to:

• I’ve Noticed So Many Things, It’d Be Unfair To Keep Them To Myself tour
  • Australian Tickets - https://bit.ly/3DczzDx
  • NZ Tickets - https://bit.ly/49BCuC4

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You may know Michael from Love on the Spectrum, or his podcast Mr A+, or even his appearance on Ellen – he’s done it all and has gained an incredible amount of wisdom on his journey so far.

We’ve been doing this show for six years, and no-one has ever summarised it as well as Michael Theo: trying to be perfect is a wild goose chase.

In this episode, Hugh, Ryan and Josh chat to Michael about how he found his voice after growing up as a non-verbal kid, and instils on the guys some advice on how to handle nerves (and do some proper improv).

Michael, we had an absolute blast. We’ll see you for a Yowie sometime soon.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/eVtYKdJUpVU

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Mr. A+ - https://apple.co/3C3kS5i
• Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World - https://apple.co/48nT3Ax
• Grace Tame - “Sexy, Scissoring, Autism!” - https://apple.co/404jXv7
• Jackson Tozer - Don’t Give Up On Me - https://apple.co/3yHdawf
• Jack Steele - Socials Anxiety - https://apple.co/41jNSjL
• Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://apple.co/41nL456
• Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://bit.ly/40Y7HNs
• Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://apple.co/4gns2zX

📺 Things to watch:

• Love On The Spectrum - https://ab.co/48r5iwb
• Austin - https://ab.co/4eYmvQl
• Michael’s Interview on Ellen - https://bit.ly/4eXRYBX
• Puss In Boots - The Last Wish - https://bit.ly/4foCuqF

📱Things to check out:

• Wable - https://www.hellowable.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome into the studio 7 time world champion surfer, and all-round legend, Layne Beachley.

Layne, who had the self-described ‘compassion of a tiger shark’ during her competition days, has lived an incredible journey to learn how to love others, and more importantly, herself.

Upon discovering that she was adopted, Layne internalised a fear of rejection and intense need to prove herself.

What’s one way to prove yourself, you may ask? Becoming a world champion, no matter the cost.

In this episode, Hugh, Ryan and Josh talk to Layne about the narrative that she created for herself, and how this affected her self-worth, body image and relationships.

There is SO MUCH good stuff in this episode, and we can’t wait for you to enjoy your day at the Beach(ley).

Layne, you are an absolute legend. Thank you for your generous vulnerability.

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3VsnIrd

ALSO if you would like to buy tickets to Josh’s gig (!!!!!) click here - https://bit.ly/3ZO6ojf

📖 Things to read:

• Awake Academy - Layne Beachley and Tess Brouwer - https://bit.ly/4fNThEh
• Beneath the Waves - Michael Gordon with Layne Beachley - https://bit.ly/410jgU2
• From Strength to Strength - Arthur C Brooks - https://bit.ly/3VCaZTD
• Build the Life You Want - Arthur C Brooks and Oprah Winfrey - https://amzn.to/3ZpgFAK

☕️Places to get coffee (and find your laptop cover):

• Aegyo Cafe - https://bit.ly/3BqMNMi

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Johann Hari is a prolific author, deep thinker, and seasoned guest of The Imperfects.

In this episode, Johann takes the guys on a deep dive into the Western food system, and how processed food has completely derailed our nutritional wisdom.

Our relationship with food is a very personal one, and Johann and Josh get vulnerable about how they have used food to manage emotions. They discuss how vanity comes into play, the plethora of risks and benefits to the new weight-loss drug like Ozempic, and if their introduction of could derail any notion of self-acceptance.

This episode does discuss eating disorders and suicidal ideation so tread carefully, and only listen to this episode when you’re ready.

Johann, it is always a pleasure. This is a big and tricky conversation, and we thank you for having it with us.

To watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/2rcWI8zSOvE

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Johann Hari - The Importance of Connection - https://apple.co/4fE5V8n
• Johann Hari - Why You Can’t Pay Attention - https://apple.co/4flaoMG
• Johann Hari (P1 1) - How Can We Change? - https://apple.co/40liAIJ
• Johann Hari (Pt 2) - Why Do We Do What We Do? - https://apple.co/3UokTH2

📖 Things to read:

• The Magic Pill by Johann Hari - https://bit.ly/3NHoyw1
• Johann’s other books - https://johannhari.com

💻Things to look into:

• Prof. Tracey Mann research into dieting - https://bit.ly/4eKbDEB
• Bee Wilson’s research into baby food - https://bit.ly/3ZtpklZ
• Dr. Paul Kenny research into the obesity - https://bit.ly/3ZbtZsm

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.